The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, the news that there are over 70 armed federal agencies is certainly alarming workers for the Common Good™ across the fruited collective. The questions that immediately come to mind are…

Why are there so few armed federal agencies? I mean, just 70 or so? Seriously?

…and…

Who's going to do something about it?

That's where I, your caring Komissar, come in. To address the shortage of armed agencies with self-awarded powers to arrest citizens, I announce with great satisfaction the armed wing of the People's Cube's Blogunov Foundation for Disabled Minority Kittens (formerly “Handicapped” Minority Kittens until an astute comrade made the correction).

The new agency is called the U.S. Federal Bureau of Disabled Minority Kittens. Be on the lookout in your neighborhood for large men wearing navy blue windbreakers with the yellow FBDMK logo proudly displayed across the back!

Do you want to denounce a neighbor? Nothing could be simpler than giving us a call and alleging kitten abuse! Our men will be knocking on that door in mere minutes.

No more messing about with time consuming warrants, gibberish about “probable cause”, or all that nonsense about the Fourth Amendment. Efficiency is our hallmark. You call it in, we haul ‘em in. It's as simple as that.

This is the New Era of the Federal Agency. Separation of powers? Gone!

We write the regulations, we judge your neighbor to be in violation of them, and we enforce them. Thus we gloriously bypass the legislative, judicial, and executive branches by rolling them into one unaccountable agency.

A badge, a Glock, and a windbreaker do it all. Efficiency, efficiency, efficiency!

Of course, all these new agencies must be adequately funded. You don't think we get Barrett rifles and SAWs for free, do you? What about the ammo? The armored vehicles? So the upside is that you get to demonstrate your gratitude by paying more in taxes so that we can vigilantly watch out for the rights of disabled minority kittens day and night.

Of course, if there isn't enough tax revenue, we've authorized ourselves to simply confiscate your property. Think of the proud tears that will trickle down your cheek as we compassionately take away your car, your house, your children, and give you the satisfaction of identifying with the oppressed proletariat everywhere. Yes, it's a win-win-win for everybody.

Join me in celebrating, comrades. Show that you care. Be enthusiastic, because we're watching.

And a bigger image for those comrades who want to place it on their flack jackets, demolition machines, wrecking balls, or armored vehicles.

[img]/images/Kittens_Agency_Guns.jpg[/img]

I tip my ushanka to Your Equalness for the upgrades.

And still, some disabled kittens will claim that they have a Teabagger 2nd Amendment right to be armed too!

Such silliness.

Does mental illness count as a disability and qualify for kitten protection?

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Since it has become common practice to mask the members of our paramilitary agencies why not mask this one in cuteness? The People™ will welcome them into their homes!

El Presidente wrote:Does mental illness count as a disability and qualify for kitten protection?

crazy_cat.jpg

I should hope so Comrade. We all know that mental illness, as it is currently described, requires isolation of the mentally ill. Of course this benefits both society and the sick individual. With much lobotomy therapy and reeducation those suffering this malady can once again become productive members of the collektive.

This subject likely needs the protection of the DMK as well;

On a final note; this is disturbing to me... Has Scratchanitch been engaged in interspecies free-love again?

INGSOC wrote:Has Scratchanitch been engaged in interspecies free-love again?

Or, as the can't-prove-a-negative crowd might say, when did Scratchanitch stop engaging in interspecies free love?

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:

INGSOC wrote:Has Scratchanitch been engaged in interspecies free-love again?

Or, as the can't-prove-a-negative crowd might say, when did Scratchanitch stop engaging in interspecies free love?

Indeed, Comrade. I thought the Party had tucked this little embarrassment away with Dr. Elizabeth O'bagy's Georgetown transcript. It's just as hard to advocate for war based on the pleadings of an unqualified 20-something year-old liar as it is to advocate for the creation of the DMK with inner-party member Scratchanitch doing his thang.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:

INGSOC wrote:Has Scratchanitch been engaged in interspecies free-love again?

Or, as the can't-prove-a-negative crowd might say, when did Scratchanitch stop engaging in interspecies free love?

Odd that the comrades should mention "Prove a Negative" and Scratchanitch in the same paragraph.

I have spent the LAST FIVE YEARS in Federal Court being sued by a nut case.

I am sued because of WHAT I DID NOT DO. I was supposed to stop others on several social media groups from talking about this person. Stuff I didn't even know about.

That was why I created this graphic-