9/25/2013, 6:58 pm
Instead, a new coalition of the disgruntled was created - based on sexual and color preference, immigration visa status, government benefits, union wages, and the degree of peacefulness of their religion. Unfortunately for the revolution, these groups have different interests and always end up pulling the blanket of collective struggle towards themselves.
Twerkers are different.
They bring everyone's interest down to the lowest common denominator, which is shared by all regardless of language, religion or color, as they shake down the chains of bourgeois conventions with the gyrating thrust of lower fleshy extremities.
Consider these classics: "Come all of you twerkers who twerk night and day," "Twerking class hero," or even "I've been twerking on the railroad."
The tired names of the older revolutionary parties can be sexed up accordingly: Twerkers World Party, Twerking Families Party, or Socialist Twerkers. A new mass appeal of the party press organs can also be attained by changing their titles: Twerkers World, Daily Twerker, Socialist Twerker, and so on.
Now that the twerking masses have been endorsed by the progressive media and celebrities, it's time for an international twerking conference, where they can form an official Twerkers Party and announce their demands to the world in a sizzling Manifesto.
MANIFESTO OF THE WORLD TWERKERS PARTY
The history of all hitherto existing societies is the history of class struggles between the oppressor and the oppressed, who stood in constant opposition to one another, exposing their behinds as a symbol of contempt and rebellion. This persistent, now hidden, now open, mooning has almost always resulted in a revolutionary reconstitution of society at large.
Throughout the Industrial Revolution, corporate types were mooning the feudal lords until the aristocracy couldn't take it anymore and the feudal society disbanded itself. The new corporate epoch has simplified the class structure, leading to a modern-day standoff between the two groups directly mooning each other: the corporations and the twerkers.
With corporate globalization, the ever increasing productivity of labor and the outsourcing of jobs to non-unionized countries has diminished the need for workers, giving rise to a leisurely underclass of twerkers.
They started as an incoherent, scattered mass, now and then mooning the corporations as a means of spontaneous self-expression. But as government regulations, taxation, and union pressures continued to drive the jobs out of the country, followed by necessary subsidies and entitlements for the non-working masses, twerkers began to replace workers in the society at an ever increasing pace. Once their concentration reached a tipping point, twerkers began to club together, organize, and seek greater publicity. Their strength grew, and with every new media exposure they felt that strength more.
Together they form the 99%, engaging in a systematic mooning of the corporations. In contrast, the corporate types have shrunk in numbers and became the One-Percenters. Some of them still continue to moon the 99% by force of habit, but they do it rather anemically and without enthusiasm.
The history is repeating itself, only now the thing that destroyed feudalism is turned against the corporations. Like the sorcerer who can no longer control the powers of the netherworld he has called up by his spells, corporations can no longer control the behavior of international twerking classes that grew out of capitalist prosperity.
Here and there twerkers may still suffer defeat at the hands of those who are trying to turn back history. But the rump of the cultural revolution ever rises up again, stronger, firmer, mightier. One can't defeat a movement that has no stated goals apart from public exposure.
Social media, which corporations created for their own benefit, is now used mostly to connect twerkers with one another, helping to organize a national mooning standoff more efficiently than the erstwhile workers' organizers could ever do with their miserable rotary-dial phones.
A government of the twerkers, by the twerkers, and for the twerkers is created - a system in which the State is left alone to grow so that it can ensure more perfect twerking conditions.
All the preceding classes that got the upper hand, sought to fortify their status by subjecting the society to their culture. The twerkers have no culture to secure; their mission is to destroy the existing culture - and to hand the wreckage over to the ones promising them a twerkers' paradise.
The twerkers do not conceal their tools and methods. They openly declare that their rear ends will overthrow existing social conditions. Let the reactionaries tremble at their collective rump. The twerkers have nothing to lose, but they have a world to win.
TWERKERS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!
I guess it is. They screw every American every day, regardless of age, sex or race.