The People's Cube - Political Satire

The chairman of Barilla pasta said he will not portray gay families in their advertising.

Until now, not one gay person realized that Barilla had no gays in their ads. It is unclear how the sexual orientation of people in the ads could be determined from their appearance.

Enough is enough. Here's just a sample of the pearl-clutching dramatics posted on Barilla's Facebook page:

• Demanding that the U.S. ban all Barilla pasta;
• Demanding that Barilla apologize (in the comments of Barilla's apology);
• Attacks on Barilla-supporting gays;
• Gay men lambasting a female Barilla supporter's hairstyle;
• Claiming that "homophobia is on the list of ingredients";
• Photos of incinerated pasta boxes in a bonfire;


• Throwing pasta in the trash; some people claiming to throw away as many as 24 boxes;


• Graphics that say "Bigotoni" and "Pasta La Vista!"

• Creating equal signs made of pasta shapes;

• Someone letting their dog deposit excrement next to a box of Barilla;

• Taping photos to store shelves of two lesbian farfalles side-by-side;

• Rampant sexual innuendo;

• Generally acting histrionic and apocalyptic.

*Photos courtesy of Facebook

The social media firestorm continued elsewhere. "Celebrities" * joined the crusade on Twitter, throwing away their pasta en-masse! Barilla will surely get the message now, just as Chick-Fil-A was forced to shut the doors of all of their restaurants, after they threw waffle fries in the faces of gays**.

* Term used loosely.
** Never happened.

The irony and sadness of paying a company to purchase their product and then throwing it away was largely lost on the mob. Seemingly level-headed citizens who asked, "Why not donate the pasta to the homeless?" were met with ridicule like, "Homeless don't have a place to cook pasta. Snort." Food kitchens that accept donations and cook for the homeless could not be reached for comment.

President Obama has yet to make an open gesture of pasta support with the gay community. It is widely expected that he will say Barilla "acted stupidly," and will work with congress to remove the Pasta of Hate from the U.S.

But so far, this latest gay boycott is turning out to be a limp noodle.

Just to be safe, we'd better start hating Pasta in general. And Baristas, because their job title sounds like Barilla. How DARE this Baron of Big Pasta have a thought we disagree with?!

Pasta King Barilla wrote:"I think it's pretty pathetic that the speaker of the House lowers herself talking about advertising, which she doesn't have the skills to understand. Communication is a fundamental stimulus for commerce: everyone makes it as he sees fit, in accordance with the rules."

Next thing you know someone will apply this same illogical reasoning to Dear Leader! Then where will we be? Huh? Everybody should just shut up and go with the flow. (whatever that means at the moment)

Comrades! This story hits close to this enlightened prole's home. I am currently in the Progressive Worker's Paradise of Italy. I will be sure to bring this thoughtkriminal (along with the Pope) in for immediate re-education.



Grazie Signor Barilla!

Oh dear.

The haters are coming out of the closet over Barilla Pasta!

Comrade R.O.C.K. -- what a hater indeed!!! (but I blew vodka outa my nose laughing. ssssssshh)

Hours? HOURS? Where can I get this wonder-food for my wife?

Glorious news, comrades! The evil, hateful, puppy-kicking chairman of Barilla pasta has issued an apology for daring to have a non-progressive thought. Doubtless, the capitalist stooge's apology will be graciously...*snork, snicker, snicker*...ahem, graciously accepted by the tolerant...*snort, har!*...ahem, the tolerant gay community, who will be ever so polite and forgiving and... *BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!*

Sorry, I tried to say that with a straight face, but I just couldn't.

[color=#C0392B]John Lenin[/color] proudly wrote:Glorious news, comrades! The evil, hateful, puppy-kicking chairman of Barilla pasta has issued an apology for daring to have a non-progressive thought.

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...and then Signore Barilla announced a new movie to be released soon from Disney.
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Tovarichi wrote:Hours? HOURS? Where can I get this wonder-food for my wife?

A Rodney Dangerfield line on The Tonight Show :

I'm tell'n ya .... my love life's terrible. My wife keeps using me for an egg timer.

( Had Carson rolling on the floor...literally )

Ahhhh, Tramp And The Tramp - an animated motion picture from my childhood years... Except that my mind, poisoned by non-collectivist, non-Approved propaganda, seems to recall a slightly different theme and denouement... (Not that there is anything wrong with the current movie - After all, History Can Be Changed!)

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Looks like Anyer Marx has been hired by Signore Barilla to try and turn things around with the gays here in the USSA. (Take down my vacation picture Anyer!)
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Pasta or homos, either or both, if its FLAMING, I have no use for them.