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10/1/2013, 5:56 pm
Ivan Betinov
Amid the terror and despair generated by the Evil and Obstructionist GOP, one ray of sunshine beams down upon a grateful nation: ObamaCare will not be delayed by the government shutdown. The launch of the nation's only great achievement of this entire century -- If not it's entire history -- has taken place and all systems are GO!
Initial reports are encouraging, as the insurance exchanges are running with precision and smoothness. The system exceeded expectations, with the ObamaCare Help Center lasting a full FIFTY-ONE SECONDS before bursting into a ball of flame!
We at the People's Cube applaud this bold step into the World of next Tuesday! All Aboard The Healthcare of the Future!
10/1/2013, 6:18 pm
trashmouth
Well, there is still time to save the millions of emaciated victims voters in order to meet their obligations to government
10/1/2013, 6:31 pm
KrystynaKorrekted
Finally! Heathcare for all that shall be meted out equally and without prejudice!
10/1/2013, 6:36 pm
UnifiedInformation
We would like to address the claims that the Healthcare.gov online system is not functioning as it should be. We regretfully admit this is somewhat true, but we attribute this solely to the RepubeliKKKan shutdown of the government. (And also to Bushitler, for reasons we should not even mention again.) Bad enough that those mean-spirited wacko extremists couldn't just compromise with the tried-and-true policies of the Party. But now they have to keep people from going to their local parks? How cold!!
Rest assured, however, that we are working diligently on it so that everyone will be able to fulfill their noble duty to the State.
10/1/2013, 6:43 pm
Red Salmon
I too applaud this great leap forward. As a disabled veteran, I have been enjoying the generous benefits of 'universal healthcare' through the Veterans Administration for years. And I have waited years for some treatments. I am so happy that the proletariat masses will now get to enjoy the same level of care I have had. You are definitely going to get what you voted for. Eventually.......
10/1/2013, 8:00 pm
Captain Craptek
10/1/2013, 9:59 pm
The-HUN
So if I sign up for this new government health care and the government shuts down during my open heart surgery what happens?
10/1/2013, 11:25 pm
R.O.C.K. in the USSA
Comrades, obviously before long we'll need to abandon this "Obamacare" for a single-payer, fully government implemented, health care system!
I honestly didn't expect it to so fully crash so quickly - one would hope they'd at least be bright enough to take enough time for Blue Cross and the rest of the major providers to go belly up first!
But maybe the teleprompters got confused...
10/2/2013, 12:35 am
El Presidente
10/2/2013, 9:33 am
Shovel 4 U
The-HUN wrote:So if I sign up for this new government health care and the government shuts down during my open heart surgery what happens?
Dear Leader has thought of every contingency because
he cares
™ .
So just go online
@healthcare.gov and follow the simple diagrams to finish it yourself.
You'll also recover faster just knowing you've helped Dear Leader drive down healthcare costs!!
10/2/2013, 11:56 am
The-HUN
Comrades I think our Great Leader knows what's best for us. No need to fight it. He has a playbook to go by! It had worked then why wouldn't it work now?