Okay Tovi, at first I laughed when I saw your post. Then I went: "Hey, maybe Tovi is
on to something here." After all, they
are allowing non-MD operatives do abortions in CA, so, why not let veterinarians do facelifts?
Seems logical to me.
Progressing further into this morass (sounds like?) I had to look no further than my idol, Nanski Pullitoffski. I knew I had to
do something, even if I didn't need it.
While I love my avatar and think it conveys my real self, in a really real way, I think it could use a little twerking. Yeah, that's it.
So, with having to
do something embedded into my brain, I chose my favorite veterinarian to do my lift. (He did an excellent job euthanizing my kitty, and even offered me a tissue to absorb my grief while he exited the room.)
To be fair™, he offered me many options:
The Golden Retriever: I am, after all, a blond, so this seemed appropriate to him, a guaranteed sale.
The German Shepard: A bit edgier and self-esteem inducing.
The Pug: Foreshortening every appendage on my face with the possibility of breathing problems. Death by asphyxiation a possible side-effect.
The Chihuahua: A yappy breed that suits your character.
I opted for the
Golden Retriever because, after all, I am blond. Blonds stick together in the fight for I.Q. equality! We often mention our fabulously competent husbands who have chosen us as trophy wives to further our cause.
I insisted that he provide me with the "undershot" jaw, whereby I look just like Michelle Obama. It's an ailment known as "Prognathism." (conveys pugnacious, self-righteous, condescending views)
Under Obamacare, I found my co-pay for the initial veterinarian visit was 34 cents. However, my deductible is now, $34,000. So I did pay through the nose, which was not included in my insurance, including a nose job. But, I am glad to do this because I know I am helping others. The important thing is, and I stress this for all Comrades,
I did something!
I feel so good about myself now!
Oh, I almost forgot! Here is the result of my facelift surgery:
