The People's Cube - Political Satire

When you get right down to it, comrades, everything can be described in terms of goods and services. If you enjoy anything in this material world, it's either a good or a service. For example, you suffer from compulsive thinking, so you wisely avail yourself of a Jiffy-Lobo. The lobotomy is a service. Your newfound desire to labor in permafrost for the crime of being successful (we call it “giving back”) is also a service. Goods include the free shovel given you by the beneficent state, and maybe a coat or ill-fitting ushanka taken from an executed prisoner. See? Goods and services.

Now, that brings us to the goods and services that all People™ should have access to. Franklin Roosevelt, our second most enlightened president next to Dear Leader, said in his 1944 State of the Union Address that the old dusty Bill of Rights is no longer adequate for a modern age (let's face it; it's SO 18^th Century) and it's high time for a New Bill of Rights. In other words, everybody should be guaranteed employment, free housing, free education, and free health care. In fact, we should tax people who make unreasonable profits so we can afford all that free stuff.

But that brings us to a dilemma: aren't all those things goods and services, too? Isn't that the same as saying I should be allowed to have free access to someone else's labor or capital without compensating them for it? In fact, isn't it hypocritical of me to demand some kind of remuneration for my work but not someone else's? In other words, do I have a right to demand all these goods and services from others? Well, of course you do!

You see, comrade, that's where Marxism, or socialism, or ObamaCare comes in. Employment, education, housing, and health care are beyond goods and services; they're Basic Human Rights™, and they are yours for the taking! C'mon, get on board, comrades and demand, demand, demand! And if some unenlightened TEA Party Neanderthal brainwashed by Rush Limbaugh says they're basic human responsibilities, well, punch him in the face. It'll teach him tolerance.

What's more, it's the American way. Our own Declaration of Dependence says that our rights come from the government, that it is the duty of government to guarantee that we consent to it, and that those who would alter or abolish such government ought to be shot. You see, Thomas Jefferson, the third most enlightened president, wrote the declaration as a letter to King George W Bush who wanted to take away our free health care, start a war for oil, and harm disabled minority kittens.

But thank Darwin we've evolved into a much more enlightened age and done away with all the confusion and chaos of liberty, freedom, and other obsolete notions. If the government tells me I want it, I should have it. And now. Some may call it theft, but Marxism is the theft you can be proud of. So chin up, both hands out, and demand what's yours.

Well, then...I demand all the pecans I can eat. Without this basic human right...wait, I'm a squirrel...anyway, without this basic right I will strike and refuse to eat anything till I die. Then they'll be sorry. I'll sue. That's what I'll do then, and, and, hold my breath till I explode! I'll bring down the entire corporate infrastructure with me. Then we'll all be dead. Good riddance!

Happy Anniversary, Squirrel! Party hearty!!

Captain Craptek wrote:Well, then...I demand all the pecans I can eat. Without this basic human right...wait, I'm a squirrel...anyway, without this basic right I will strike and refuse to eat anything till I die. Then they'll be sorry. I'll sue. That's what I'll do then, and, and, hold my breath till I explode! I'll bring down the entire corporate infrastructure with me. Then we'll all be dead. Good riddance!

The nuz sez you are doing exceedingly well Comrade squirrel-

Squirrels go nuts for First Lady's garden in shutdown

Squirrels relish White House kitchen garden as shutdown sidelines staff

Don't forget identity theft, comrades!

Obama Fairly Redistributes America's AAA To More Deserving

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:

SquirrelCelebration.jpg

Happy Anniversary, Squirrel! Party hearty!!

I don't always drink beer, but when I do it's from a certain musically inclined Comrade.

And a larger image from the lead post, albeit a little late in the thread...

[img]/images/Theft_Marxism_Obama_Thug.jpg[/img]

“Getting a fair share of your unreasonable profits is my basic human right!”
“Sure, who am I to argue with what Obama said?”

Thanks again to the Illustration and Propaganda Department for the upgrades.

But wait, there is more! States in USSA are now paying Federal government huge sums to reopen "public" lands closed by Dear Leader. The means taxpayers are paying twice for "public" lands: first to Federal government and then to state government. Is that not brilliant arrangement on part of Dear Leader and his thugs associates?

In old neighborhood, I have seen this done on smaller scale. It was then called extortion and/or ransom. But Dear Leader has shown us how such action can be for Good Of The Country™ and resistance to Rethuglikkkan hostage-taking.

KrystynaKorrekted wrote:

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:

SquirrelCelebration.jpg

Happy Anniversary, Squirrel! Party hearty!!

I don't always drink beer, but when I do it's from a certain musically inclined Comrade.

B.E.E.R. in the USSA?

Komissar Blogunov wrote:Now, what to do with all that money once we wail and howl about being inadequately funded?

This old Zampolit's heart swells with pride! For everyday His Excellency, Dear Leader Obama, is President is another day closer to becoming another North Korea!

I have a government given right to this dress-


-
And these shoes.




And Mitt Romney's house. NOW, Mitt! Get movin'!

That's going to look amazing under one of these new administration-approved ladies garments! As always, you are a trendsetter!

O-h-h-h-h...Take a gander at the voluptuous exposed four inches of unshaven ankle! She's such a minx!

And then picture that with a pair of ruby-red slippers!

(Its getting warm out, no?)