The People's Cube - Political Satire

Dear Comrades,

The Directorate for University Social Life of the Department of Socialist Education has issued an advisory to all Young Socialists attending universities across the USSA regarding their participation in traditional celebrations of the People's Halloween©: costumes designed to resemble human beings are forbidden.

Party officials have consulted leadership from the Party's Victim Class Nomenklatura, and found that high-ranking members of the Victim Classes are deeply concerned that their demographics may become targets of mockery and ridicule when depicted in an outlandish or stereotypical manner as a costume, leading to increased anxiety and feelings of abuse by members of the Class who may see or hear of the costume.

Such long-established classes as Sex Workers and Incarceration Clients (formerly known as prisoners) automatically undergo increased stress levels during Halloween due to previous experiences and the likelihood that they will end up as subject matter for costumes worn by drunken undergrads who have not yet been fully indoctrinated through Party Sensitivity Training.

The Party recommends that costume subject matter should be limited to inanimate objects, such as rocks or buildings. Students should avoid costumes resembling living creatures, such as humans, trees, animals (so as not to encourage ridicule leading to potential violation of animal rights or deforestation), or food (in recognition of the many USSA workers and peasants who struggle with eating disorders, which makes this holiday, centered on candy, particularly oppressive in its traditional celebration).

While students are encouraged to drink, use drugs, and have intercourse with members of both the same sex and different sexes during Halloween parties, loyal Socialists will begin their celebrations with a healthy, balanced and organic meal in conformity with the Let's Move Dietary Directives. All citizens should offer a variety of snacks, including sugar free (for Types I and II Diabetics) and allergen free (for the many children suffering from food allergies).

With advisory materials provided by the Party's Commissar for Racial and Gender Stereotype Prevention, university officials will post guards and establish roving patrols on campuses to evaluate costumes and cite violations of civil protocol. Students found in violation of the protocol, whether their costumes are intentionally offensive or not, with be subject to fines (payable by their parents if they are under the age of 26) and mandatory sensitivity training.

Citizens, remember to be considerate of Minorities and Victim Classes when making costume choices! Let's keep the People's Halloween© safe and inoffensive for all the people!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

Nomenklatura-climber wrote: The Party recommends that costume subject matter should be limited to inanimate objects, such as rocks or buildings.

Oh dear, what if building is in style that offends architecture students who are trained in different style or see deviant political subtext in style being exhibited?

Does this mean that me and "the boys" should not dress up as Tea Party persons and demand our candy re-distribution in downtown Detroit? We thought surely the happy citizenry there would howl with laughter at our mocking of those crazy dissidents.

So much for my "rodeo clown" costume...

Oh, dear! I was hoping to dress in a nice black suite costume and go to the local festival as Comrade Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize. Now that I've read the article I can understand the pain I might inflict on relatives of Comrade Yasser Arafat. This is why reading the People's Cube is ssooooooooo important!

Comrade Ivan Betinov's "tea party" is going to be tough to beat in this year's contest!

Tea Party seems to be a theme this year...

Stop asking, Toavarichi; I will NOT show you my spout!

Tovarichi wrote:

Tea Party seems to be a theme this year...

How thoughtful of you to publish that photo, Comrade Tovarichi. I must admit, I am adorable.

[color=#C0392B]Captain Craptek[/color] did not know how correct he was when he wrote:I am adorable.

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I agree!
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Comrade Putout,

Now, let's not get carried away. Next thing you know the lads at NEXT Magazine will be requesting an audition.

Comrades, do NOT use the party approved "Rodeo Clown" costume. I used it last year and nearly got elected President! This year I am going as a beet. However, I have not finished polling my vegetable garden for objections to the costume.

I have not gotten past approving festive head wearing . . . . so I am thinking of dressing as a Party Approved Hat.

Most becoming Fraulein...most becoming! Though, it is unfortunate for your many admirers that your costume is un-revealing of your ample frontage.

I must agree with the Squirrel, Comrade Fraulein - while the hat is definitely a splendid accessory (which you simply MUST wear), your bosoms are simply to die for! I highly recommend significant revelation.

In the spirit of equality, let's not limit this to only the Frau...

Tovarichi, you CAN'T MAKE ME look at your bosoms!!!

Tovarichi wrote:In the spirit of equality, let's not limit this to only the Frau...

Calling Comrade Putout......................

[color=#C0392B]Capt. Commie[/color] knows how to sweet talk a girl because he wrote:

Tovarichi wrote:In the spirit of equality, let's not limit this to only the Frau...

Calling Comrade Putout......................

Now, here is truly lovely frontage, although not as lovely as Comrade Fraulein's, of course:

Comrade Diaperette, I believe that frontage image you posted is the very one that I caught Comrade Rammstein looking at on my computer back in his younger days! He was pretty much frozen in position, which gave me time to grab my camera in order to have evidence of his crime.

[color=#C0392B]Johnny Cougar in the USSA [/color]forgot about his first glimpse of Comrade Putout when he wrote:Comrade Diaperette, I believe that frontage image you posted is the very one that I caught Comrade Rammstein looking at on my computer back in his younger days! He was pretty much frozen in position, which gave me time to grab my camera in order to have evidence of his crime.

Good News!

The proles wanted some frontages and the Party hears you and some nice Party approved frontages ye shall be able to legally gander at.

Life is good on Candy Redistribution Day!!

Six years later, and the costumes aren't getting any less offensive.

Red Square wrote:Six years later, and the costumes aren't getting any less offensive.

Neither are the criminals and their crimes.