The People's Cube - Political Satire

WE MOURN THE PARTY'S DEFEAT IN FRANCE AND BLAME BUSH!

May 6th shall forever be known as the day our comrades in Europe lost the second front. Let us mark this tragic day with a 21 shovel salute to all of those who have fallen in the name of the Common Good™.


- Sarkozy pledges his loyalty to the Bu$hitler and surrenders France's oil supply to the Bush KKKrime Family.


PARIS—Today the French people came out in overwhelming numbers, fueled by lies and imperialist propaganda, to select a Bush clone to lead them for all eternity. This is a sad day, a tragic day that will forever more reverse the progress that was made in France by our progressive brethren.

53% was the magic number that was trumped up by a flood of fraudulent voters who came out to steal the election from socialist Segolene Royal, who, by the way, was a progressive womyn much like our Dear Leader, Hillary Rodham Clinton. My outrage is sealed that the French people would allow themselves to elect a pro-Amerikan fascist who wants tougher immigration laws, pro-economic growth policies and a renewed sense of national pride (nationalism! Hisssss!).

Q: What can be done to overturn the election results?

I am well aware that these unfortunate events will be met with swift action by the DNC. We, the chosen leaders of the progressive world, will send a flood of lawyers, Party operatives, and unwashed student protestors to decry the injustice committed against us in this latest ideological defeat. We will not surrender nor will we allow Diebold, Bush/Cheney/ Katherine Harris, or the Sarkozy brownshirts to bring the people of France out of our firm control of the continent! We will not stop, not until all of Gaia's children are red and enslaved to our failing policies!

Q: What does this mean to the Party here in AmeriKKKA?

Take a guess, comrades! This is clearly a sexist attempt by the French people to discredit the possibility of Hillary Rodham Clinton becoming Supreme Leader of the world! We damn well know that their election was rigged, that Segolene Royal is the rightful winner and that socialism is alive and well in Europe! We know who is behind this; we know that Shotgun Dick was in France stuffing the ballot boxes for Sarkozy! Open your eyes, comrades, do not be led astray by reich-wing lies! WE WON TODAY!

Q: What does this mean to Europe? Will we ever win over there?

Well, it means that Europe has slid into the imperialist lies of Amerika, that's what it means! It doesn't mean, however, that the Europeans are fed up with unchecked immigration, failing economic policies, and crooked leftist politicians. No, it doesn't mean that at all! Socialism is alive and well in Europe – even if it has been defeated in France. Look to Turkey, comrades! Islamist freedom fighters are making it progressive there! Hope is not lost! We can still win! We can still win!

Q: What does this mean to Academic, Revisionist Historian, Nobel Peace Prize winner and wine buff Dr. Palimpsest? Doesn't he have a château in France?

Well, I assume the brownshirts are burning his modest mansion down to the ground now and are persecuting him for his political beliefs. I'm more than certain though that Dr. P is safely on his private 747 making his way back to the Socialist States of Amerika to escape the chaos that is now overtaking France. Last report I received from the Propaganda Department suggested that a huge swastika was unfurled down the Eiffel Tower after Sarkozy gave his acceptance speech. All we can do now comrades is pray to Stalin that our comrades are safe there tonight. Gaia speed, comrades! May you have a safe and luxurious return to Amerika!

-- Chairman Meowsevich S. Punchenko is a crooked Party apparatchik, founder of the Parade of Victims Charitable Foundation and a contributor to The People's Cube. He cannot be reached for further comment until a considerable donation is made to him (cash or credit will suffice).

I remember first hearing of Sarkozy during the glrorious riots. Now, he shows his true colors. He is the Marshall Petain of our day, turning France into a modern Vichy France, obeying every wish of BusHitler. Where is Uncle Stalin when we need him?

Indeed, where is Uncle Joe when we need him? Well, now that Bushitler has control of France, I can only assume that they will support his Illegal and Immoral War for Blood and Oil now. Hopefully the rising radical freedom fighter population will pull Europe out of the Dark Ages again after the reich-wingers drain the entire continent of it's prosperity. I can only hope that they will have the compassion to do so, Europe has and shall always be the Party's favorite whore and to put her back to work would be a terrible tragedy (when I say work I mean any kind of activity that isn't giving hummers to Amerika's enemies).

Thank you for acknowledging my most ghastly plight, esteemed Chairman. I'm afraid the French people have developed a tolerance to the mind-control agents that we use in Chateau Babeuf's wine.

The brownshirts arrived en masse the day before yesterday in anticipation of their "victory". They were hell-bent on setting ablaze my humble abode. Lucky, I had a fresh batch of Beaujolais Nouveau, spiked with a new and improved mind-control agent recently developed by Dr. "Big Smiles" Fuku. I handed out plastic cups and after a few sips and some idle chatter they were demanding glass. I then knew that the new ingredient was having the desired effect. I was quite relieved, as you can imagine. But my solace was short-lived.

Yesterday, another group arrived and literally drank me out of house and home. I am, as we speak, onboard RedSkies One en route to the U$A.

Sipping on thimble full of ennui,

Dr. P

Thank Stalin you're safe, Dr. P! I'm sure many more progressive refugees will be fleeing France to escape the Sarko Government which is clamping down on free-thinkers as we speak.

I've been checking in with No Parasan! for updates on the resistance movement...

Hang on, I'm getting some chatter in my earpiece...

Yes, it seems that Sarkozy's secret police units are rounding up peaceful rioters now....... so far two trillion are reported dead.... Oh no, they shot the reporter with a bean bag! Oh the humanity! THE HUMANITY! My earpiece just went Yuri, see if we can get a feed on whats going on over there. No, I don't care who you have to send! Put a freakin' camera on the damn cat and send it in! We must show these war crimes to the entire world!

-- Chairman Meowsevich S. Punchenko is a crooked Party apparatchik, founder of the Parade of Victims Charitable Foundation and a contributor to The People's Cube. He cannot be reached for further comment until a considerable donation is made to him (cash or credit will suffice).

Will the blood of the bourgeoisie suffice?