11/6/2013, 6:19 pm
COMRADES!
As I'm sure you're all well aware, there has been a significant amount of rethuglikkkan 'noise' over our Dear Leader's wonderfully Utopian healthcare plan lovingly referred to as O'bamaCare™. A good amount of this 'noise' comes as the shrill, cacophonous, often repeated refrain, "O'bama lied; healthcare died". Nothing could be more disconcerting, or troubling, to progressive ears than to have to endure such jejune tripe.
~
Of course we all heard Dear Leader make several promises about his Utopian healthcare plan a few years ago. We believed him and took him at his word. There never was a doubt in our kollektive hearts to not trust him implicitly with all our souls. Afterall, he IS the 'messiah' coming to bring Hope™ and Change™ to a dry and thirsty land where no water is — because eeevil rethuglikkkans have polluted all the water. And the air, too! But I digress.
How eeevil are those rethuglikkkans? They are SO eeevil that they have taken our Dear Leader's words and have turned them into LIES! Yes! Dear Leader has made true promises about his Utopian healthcare takeover plan — and he is keeping them!
However, in order to understand the deep nuances in Dear Leader's true promises to us, we must first address why they are not lies — as the eeevil rethuglikkkans are trying to insinuate — and decode them so we can understand the true meaning and continue following blindly into oblivion with wild, reckless abandon that Dear Leader requires... no, DEMANDS, of us!
Recently, this true promise has come under attack and has been criticized as a "lie" by people of questionable character that really don't like Dear Leader because he's black. [H/T To Chris Matthspews for deciphering and revealing this truth about O'bama's opponents].
We have been hearing many reports of certain individuals losing their healthcare insurance because they're receiving letters of cancelation from their insurers and told to glom onto O'bamaCare™ all the while blaming O'bamaCare™ and Dear Leader for their plight. Not only is this grossly misguided, it simply isn't true. Weren't these individuals allowed to keep their healthcare before they were cancelled? Dear Leader never said HE would take away their healthcare. Therefore, he kept his promise. It's Big Insurance, who are indebted to greedy, rich capitalist rethuglikkkans like the Koch Bros who are at fault here. Just like they want to kill babies, pollute the water and air, so they also want to take away your healthcare insurance and leave you in the cold.
Here is another true promise that Dear Leader is keeping! Yes! Prices ARE dropping! Many are falsly complaining that prices and premiums are "rising", but nothing could be further from the truth. Since we now have QE3, the value of the dollar is steadily diminishing thus its worth is falling. What healthcare would have cost, before this O'bama snake oil cure brilliant economic strategy, it would have been much higher than it is presently. Thus, the cost is actually LOWER!
Of course those individuals who have actually been dropped from their current insurance plans will reap the most savings of 'dropping prices' as their next bill will never come, thus saving them money. Ergo, Dear Leader has kept his promise of lowering prices!
Dear Leader campaigned successfully on this promise alone! How else would he have been elected — twice — if he were lying about the mandatory "penalty" actually being a "tax"? Dear Leader promised us that he wouldn't raise taxes a dime. It was Chief Justice Roberts who was the originator of this lie by declaring it a "tax" in a typical reichwing effort to redicule and embarrass Dear Leader trying to make him look like a cheap used car salesman. To Roberts' chagrin, his little scheme backfired right in his face and O'bamaCare™ was deemed "constitutional".
Dear Leader never broke his promise here.
Of course we had to fix the healthcare crisis and Dear Leader realized this! With 5% of the population without healthcare, there was a great need for a total overhaul of the system in order for those misfortunate ones who didn't want healthcare to be covered. Dear Leader never lied about fixing things. He's been fixing things real good for 5 years now and has much more "fixing" to do before his next imaculation term is over. Just as Rahm "tiny dancer" Emanuelle has korrektly stated, "Never let a good crisis go to waste", Dear Leader hasn't let any good crises go to waste. And if there weren't any crises, he would create one in order to prove to everyone just how capable he is to fixing it!
We have been hearing some very harsh rumors that the website doesn't work, it's broken, no one can log on, blah, blah, blah. This incessant whining over what Chris Matthews declares as a "Big Nothing Burger" is nothing more than rabid racism over a black tyrant dictator president. Here's the truth that Dear Leader says: The damn website WORKS!!! OK?! So you log on and you get an error message 404. If it wasn't working you'd get NO MESSAGE at all! And if you're lucky, you get to see the famous "Glitch Girl"
NO, NOT HER! The other one!
In closing, next time you hear someone claiming Dear Leader is "lying" about his trophy Utopian healthcare plan, just whip out your Darth Axelgrease™ Secret Decoder Ring and show them the truth. It works every time it's tried.
