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12/9/2013, 10:50 pm
Captain Craptek
COMRADE ALERT!
The highest temperature ever recorder on Earth has recently been measured by an orbiting NASA satellite. The new record of 135.8 degrees stunned scientists around the world. Teams of researchers from Greenpeace and the Al Gore Institute set about confirming the NASA data with on location measurements and photographs. A recently transmitted image from one of the teams (below) shows the shocking remains of what once was the continental ice sheet covering Antarctica!
WASHINGTON - AP: Just because one spot on Earth has set records for *cold(?) that has little to do with global warming because it is one spot in one place, said Waleed Abdalati, an ice scientist at the University of Colorado and NASA's former chief scientist. Both Abdalati, who wasn't part of the measurement team, and Scambos said this is likely an unusual random reading in a place that hasn't been measured much before and could have been colder or hotter in the past and we wouldn't know.
Editor's Note*There appears to be an error in the AP story copy. I'm certain that the word
COLD is incorrect, and should be replaced by the word
HEAT. An update is expected shortly.
12/9/2013, 11:55 pm
Armenian Radio.
No mistake Comrade. The MiniTruth department of EcoScience just released the results of a new study this morning. Like the opposite of a cold, Warming has to get better before it gets worse. Supercold Temperatures occur before catastrophic heat wipes out all life on the planet, due to a plot by GWD's to try and lure the progs into a false sense of security.
12/10/2013, 12:04 am
Che' Ramie
Hot or Cold, Snot or Mold, no matter the temp, outfit yourself with the latest in stylish & functional Che' Revolutionary Gear! Comrades, I would be remiss in my new duties as Marketing Commissar if I didn't make you aware of the fine bargains available on the InterWebs! Be prepared for your next Revolutionary Act by looking the part! From the icy cold of the Artic (or not so cold Antarctic) to the steamy heat of the jungle rain forest, your Revolution in style has just begun! Let there be no doubt that it is a true radical storming the barricades!
12/10/2013, 12:35 am
Armenian Radio.
Comrade Che...I was contemplating buying such a thing for my Comrades(not family, Thought sheriff denounced them many moons into the jurisdiction of The Time Colonel), however, you utilized the Phrase "Jungle." This is ThoughtKrime. We Progs refer to such a natural wonder as a "rain forest"
12/10/2013, 12:39 am
Captain Craptek
Comrade Marketing Commissar,
If you go marketing tomorrow could you please pick me up a new handle for my shovel? It broke in half while chipping ice from my limb. Thanks.
12/10/2013, 1:11 am
Che' Ramie
Thought Sheriff wrote:Comrade Che...I was contemplating buying such a thing for my Comrades(not family, Thought sheriff denounced them many moons into the jurisdiction of The Time Colonel), however, you utilized the Phrase "Jungle." This is ThoughtKrime. We Progs refer to such a natural wonder as a "rain forest"
I accept your critique Comrade Sheriff! I was simply mesmerized by the massive amounts of cash flowing into my The Party's coffers from the "consumers" proles wanting Revolutionary Action Wear! I shall endeavor correct political speech in future postings! BTW..Your new avatar is most equal!
12/10/2013, 1:47 am
Che' Ramie
Captain Craptek wrote:
Comrade Marketing Commissar,
If you go marketing tomorrow could you please pick me up a new handle for my shovel? It broke in half while chipping ice from my limb. Thanks.
Success Comrade Craptek! I was able to shovel 2 squirrels with 1 scoop! You new People's Shovel Handle comes with State Issued Housing Unit! Now you don't have to leave the beet fields for your allotted rest periods...simply plant the shovel blade & rest in your new digs!
12/10/2013, 2:35 am
trashmouth
Brothers, sisters and sexually ambiguous transgendered political comrades, looks like after all the years and years of denying the truth, the glorious scientific community as well as the Goracle have proven with this latest satellite evidence, that unless we sign the Kyoto Protocol our planet will continue to spin violently out of control. Perhaps in the past, there was a time when mighty continental ice sheets roamed the earth wild and free, now they are but a memory as last night's Republican cross burning. I am quite sure that Greenpeace and the Goracle will continue to guide us with true scientific dementia and we will be able to listen to some sort of early warning propaganda system before it's too late and we run out of taxpayers' money. Comrades, I for one will be stocking up on Che' Ramie gear and one of the early warning self winding, eco friendly, solar powered biodegradable propaganda devices.
12/10/2013, 4:17 am
Che' Ramie
trashmouth wrote: Brothers, sisters and sexually ambiguous transgendered political comrades, looks like after all the years and years of denying the truth, the glorious scientific community as well as the Goracle have proven with this latest satellite evidence, that unless we sign the Kyoto Protocol our planet will continue to spin violently out of control. Perhaps in the past, there was a time when mighty continental ice sheets roamed the earth wild and free, now they are but a memory as last night's Republican cross burning. I am quite sure that Greenpeace and the Goracle will continue to guide us with true scientific dementia and we will be able to listen to some sort of early warning propaganda system before it's too late and we run out of taxpayers' money.
Comrades, I for one will be stocking up on Che' Ramie gear and one of the early warning self winding, eco friendly, solar powered biodegradable propaganda devices.
Comrade Trash..I can picture you in a stylish Revolutionary Che' beret, tipped jauntingly to the left (of course) with a snappy red lacquered star set upon it! Yes Comrade..you'll be the envy of all those not of proper spirit & wearing simple camo caps or red bandanas! Upgrade your style Comrade..dump that..whatever it is you're wearing on top of your head.. with a truly radical statement for the Masses to behold! Shall I ring up your new purchase Comrade??[/justify]
12/10/2013, 4:23 am
Red Menace
Meanwhile, in Madistan (WI), where it's -2° ...
The
climate change forum being held at the state Capitol on December 11th will be a secret, with members of the public and media prohibited from attending, according to state Rep. Jeff Mursau, the Republican organizing the forum. Mursau is the chairman of the Assembly's Environment and Forestry Committee, and he will be joined by Democratic state Rep. Fred Clark in hosting the event, which features numerous speakers from the University of Wisconsin.
12/10/2013, 8:49 am
Ivan the Stakhanovets
As it should be. Who knows more about global warming and climate change than the party members of Wiskonsin who won't see sunlight for six more months?
I am of course unable to attend, but will be available to belittle and denounce their findings if they do not support Dear Leader and the party line.
Call me.
12/10/2013, 10:09 am
R.O.C.K. in the USSA
Comrades, I should point out that from the other side of what's left of Antarctica you can actually see the famous
Hockey Stick™ which the IPPC and Comrade Algore™ used so dramatically to point out how quickly our doom is approaching!
12/10/2013, 11:58 am
StimulusMaximus
Comrade Craptek,
I have no doubt this GlobAL Warming is causing the reported acorn shortage.
https://www.myfoxny.com/story/17441457/ ... els-people
And equally likely and probable, the greedy 1%ers are stealing the remaining acorns for themselves. Let go of your nuts people! Redistribute them to each according to his need.
Failure to comply will result in animal anarchy. The
deer will be ramming your cars and the
bears will shred you swiftly to get at your nuts.
12/10/2013, 12:06 pm
Armenian Radio.
Che' Ramie wrote:Thought Sheriff wrote:Comrade Che...I was contemplating buying such a thing for my Comrades(not family, Thought sheriff denounced them many moons into the jurisdiction of The Time Colonel), however, you utilized the Phrase "Jungle." This is ThoughtKrime. We Progs refer to such a natural wonder as a "rain forest"
I accept your critique Comrade Sheriff! I was simply mesmerized by the massive amounts of cash flowing into my The Party's coffers from the "consumers" proles wanting Revolutionary Action Wear! I shall endeavor correct political speech in future postings! BTW..Your new avatar is most equal!
Et tu, comrade.
12/10/2013, 3:36 pm
Captain Craptek
Red Menace wrote:Meanwhile, in Madistan (WI), where it's -2° ...
The
climate change forum being held at the state Capitol on December 11th will be a secret, with members of the public and media prohibited from attending, according to state Rep. Jeff Mursau, the Republican organizing the forum. Mursau is the chairman of the Assembly's Environment and Forestry Committee, and he will be joined by Democratic state Rep. Fred Clark in hosting the event, which features numerous speakers from the University of Wisconsin.
Thank's for that extra bit of news comrade. It's more evidence that we're doomed unless revenue
take donations are increased to pay for the many new public works improvements needed to cope with the looming disaster. Brace yourselves, comrades! Prepare to
man person the bilge pumps! The Second Great Flood™ is nearly upon us!
12/10/2013, 6:00 pm
Ivan the Stakhanovets
Which raises the questions;
A. since Dear Leader (pbuh) practices so dilligently with his golfing clubs, what is his preferred club for baby seal? And,
2. Does it taste more like dog or fish?
12/10/2013, 6:07 pm
Captain Craptek
And, does death by clubbing count as a pre-existing condition? THAT is the question!
12/10/2013, 7:25 pm
R.O.C.K. in the USSA
Putin on the Ritz wrote:Comrades!
PLEASE!! I beg you! Please save this baby seal from sure death. As we speak the ice is forming around her. Soon she will not have the ability to breath. We must burn tires immediately!
Comrade Ritz, now you - and the viewers at home - can do exactly that, with your new
Official Mandela™ brand Necklacing Kit™!!
Don't wait - get yours today!
