12/11/2013, 1:46 pm
[img]/images/Tiger_Woods_Obama_Scandinavian_Women.png[/img]
Dear Comrades, Citizen-Athlete Tiger Woods has offered Comrade Party Chairman and Future President Barack Barackovich Obama tips on how to manage his professional relationship with Comrade Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt, given his personal experiences with Scandinavian women.
In a telegram to the White Fortress, Citizen Woods congratulated Comrade Obama for his fine taste, but warned him that his wife, Comrade Michelle, may become uncomfortable with further manifestations of the ‘strictly professional' relationship. He advised our Glorious Leader to take the relationship ‘off-line' and meet the Danish Prime Minister in ‘closed sessions,' not unlike those which the President conducted with Comrade Secretary Kathleen Sebelius.
Party officials have congratulated Comrade Obama for his enthusiasm in strengthening USSA-Denmark relations, saying that this may lead to yet another grand achievement in his foreign policy strategy, which has led to years of political stability and international prosperity.
Comrade Secretary John Kerry has been asked to compile a list of other world leaders similar in stature to Comrade Thorning-Schmidt in the hopes of building other alliances throughout the globe.
Citizen Woods also urged Comrade Obama to ditch the ‘Third Wheel,' Comrade Prime Minister David Cameron, at this stage of the relationship, though he may become a welcome asset later as the association between Comrades Obama and Thorning-Schmidt grows.
Workers and Peasants of the World are united through Obama and Thorning-Schmidt's union! Let us all congratulate them on their struggle for Progress!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator