The People's Cube - Political Satire

In a shocking display of heterosexuality and patent homophobia, President Obama kissed Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt of Denmark, but not Prime Minister David Cameron of Great Britain, a male.

"I was hoping for something a bit more intimate, really," said a chagrined Cameron, "but all I got was this rather anemic handshake." When a reporter for BBC asked if being included in the now world famous 'selfie' softened his feelings of rejection, Cameron responded, "It wasn't really the same thing. Perhaps he was trying to meet me halfway, but it seemed more like a half-hearted apology. I put the best face on it I could muster, but cried myself to sleep that night."

"What kind of message are we sending our children!?" said an outraged Jan van Dyke, president of the Rainbow Institute. "In an age of enlightenment when comic book super heroes are coming out left and right and admitting their true gay yearnings, we get a president kissing an attractive head of state of the opposite sex! It's not only sickening, it's a setback for all the progress we've made in gay rights since the 1950s. What's more, it's a slap in the face to all lesbian, gay, transgendered, queer, conflicted, and retransgendered that make up 97% of the population. While we demand an apology, we do applaud Michelle Obama for taking a stand by sitting down next to the Danish prime minister and symbolically representing us. We thought the president had 'evolved' on gay rights, and now he stabs us in the back with this despicable, and may I say, blatantly patriarchal act. What's next, a promise that if you like your partner you can keep your partner?"

"It was a bad move on the part of the president," said political analyst Dick Morris, "At a time when he's losing the Hispanic vote and even the Millennials have turned on him, he goes and pulls off a stunt like this? It was only a matter of time, and not much of that, either, before the gay community would turn on him also."

At an emergency press meeting at the White House, Art Carney told reporters, "This is an ongoing situation, and the president was frankly quite surprised to learn that he had kissed another head of state." Later the president himself appeared opening some prepared remarks with, "I didn't do that, somebody else made that happen."

Michelle Obama could not be reached for comment.

This is travesty! Come to think of it, he only shook hands with Castro of Cuba! No kiss, no tongue, no squeeze on the butt-cheek, just left the poor Latino hanging! This is what happens when George Bush gets back on the airplane.

Obama is metro-sexual; this means all sexes are opposite to him except for the Paris subway.

Let's face it, comrades - our Dear Leader, known affectionately to some as Prezzy MompantsOnFire, is very, very concerned about what Reggie Love would have to say about him kissing another man.

I am quite sure that this was no sign of homophobia on the part of B. Husseinovich Obama but, rather, a sign of fidelity, of dedication, and of concern about getting his butt kicked back in the USSA.

If you like your sexuality, you can keep your sexuality.


Poor Mr. Cameron is all, "And he had me at 'and you can take this @*#( bust of this honkey, cigar smoking, great grandson of slave owners out of the White House and back to the Land of Bad Food, too!' (sniff)

Muchos spacebos for the graphic and the promotion.

Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:If you like your sexuality, you can keep your sexuality.


Poor Mr. Cameron is all, "And he had me at 'and you can take this @*#( bust of this honkey, cigar smoking, great grandson of slave owners out of the White House and back to the Land of Bad Food, too!' (sniff)

The attachment churchill.jpg is no longer available

When he returned the Churchill bust, I realized then that all I had suspected was true.

Mother page!

Now, now, let us not jump to conclusions. Perhaps all those bows to male heads of state were actually auditions for (shall we say) signs of affection other than mere kisses on the (upper) cheek. Whether the audition was aimed at the head of state himself or at the functionaries standing behind Dear Leader may be pondered ... or perhaps he was offering both. He is SO versatile!

Doesn't this undermine the collectivist progressive slam of Bush for rubbing Angela Merkel's shoulders?

ConservativeMuzhelozhstvo wrote:Doesn't this undermine the collectivist progressive slam of Bush for rubbing Angela Merkel's shoulders?

I afraid that rubbing anything belonging to Angela Merkel does not count. Try again.

Failure to swap socialized spit with Prime Kommissar Kameron had nothing to do with Dear Leader's orientation. From Comrade Larry to Comrade Reggie, Comrade Barry's open minded preferences have been well documented. United People's Kingdom dentistry is a well known turn-off, I suspect that was the most likely issue.

Comrade 9 wrote:Failure to swap socialized spit with Prime Kommissar Kameron had nothing to do with Dear Leader's orientation. From Comrade Larry to Comrade Reggie, Comrade Barry's open minded preferences have been well documented. United People's Kingdom dentistry is a well known turn-off, I suspect that was the most likely issue.

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Too emotionally distraught to confront one another verbally upon the president's return from South Africa, Obama and former "close companion" Reggie Love utilize texting to discuss their break up in the presence of an official White House grief counselor.

Golly geez! I'd give a month's vodka ration just to see Dear Leader's e-mail for one day? (*This is a NSA test. This is only a test!) Resume shoveling.

I urge to recommend a cavity search in our great leader Ohbummer.

To know if he is hiding his heterosexuality somehwere.

Darn heterosexuality, heterosexuality can hurt people! Didn't you know?