The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, we've been trying to warn the world about it for decades, and now it has finally happened!

The People's Global Warminsk Climate Change research vessel, MV Akademik Shokalskiy, has been trapped in ice near Antarctica -- in the middle of summer! Rescue efforts by both Communist and Capitalist [spit] countries alike have all failed.

Since 1988, my colleagues and I have been trying to warn the world that "we only have ten years to save the Earth" but no one would listen. Now all of the polar bears at the South Pole are going to die, all for a few quick profit$ [spit] for the Capitali$t [spit] oil companie$.

It is a sad day for Mother Earth.

It truly is a sadness, comrade - and yet, we progs will find the good in it, as we do in all things (except capitalists, Rethuglikkkans, teabaggers, conservatism, libertarianism, Bush...).

Ahem. For those of us who prefer our beet vodka on ice, it's about to get a lot easier.

Soon to follow we will learn from the lone surviving crew member how each resorted to cannibalism until only he remained. Grisly details about consuming human flesh, and it's remarkable similarity to the meat of swine. Will this survivor express regret? Only for his flatulence perhaps, which as we know only exacerbates global warming, accelerated by the methane, and so forward to armageddon as we wait for the thaw.

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:.... Now all of the polar bears at the South Pole are going to die, all for a few quick profit$ [spit] for the Capitali$t [spit] oil companie$.

It is already too late, Comrade Lysenkomann. All the polar bears at the South Pole are gone, one with the snows of yesteryear. And all the penguins at the North Pole are gone as well.

Sad days indeed.

Lev Termen wrote:

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:.... Now all of the polar bears at the South Pole are going to die, all for a few quick profit$ [spit] for the Capitali$t [spit] oil companie$.

It is already too late, Comrade Lysenkomann. All the polar bears at the South Pole are gone, one with the snows of yesteryear. And all the penguins at the North Pole are gone as well.

Sad days indeed.

And do not forget the musk ox, totally gone from Antarctica, they have evaporated. Poor creatures, they hung on as long as they could. The one lone beast below was sleeping in this photo, but perished after he woke up as a result of UV rays. Damn that Bush...Damn him I say.

The rebel alliance clearly does not understand the power of the dark side...

Do not be alarmed comrades. In response to the multitude of frozen ultramodern ice cutters around Antarctica in this Summer, Comrade ALGore (once again) explains the complexity of our serious planetary issue. His apocalyptic global "horse sense" is something we all can admire.

Red Walrus wrote:

Comrade Red Walrus, it makes me smile to see you have caught the evil George Bush RED handed.

I have heard the Polar Bear™ has, contrary to Global Warming™ experts, expanded its population three-fold.

By way of contrast, Polar Bears™ here in the lower 48 are subject to "knockout games" in the name of Political Correctness.™

It's only fair! (Go figure.)

Comrade Blogunov, indeed, the world is a poorer place without the arctic lemurs! Their quaint little ice dances with their little ringed tails held so high, so reminiscent of the human dances of the Motherland, brought many a smile (and an occasional tear of joy) to these old eyes before they were wiped off the face of the earth by evil capitalists and their CO² emissions!

Paris, France-- President Francois Hollande has announced in a very emotional speech an immediate and unconditional surrender to Antarctica. The French President's proclamation surprised a couple of people, but most analysts saw it coming. According to Hollande, "We just couldn't take the pressure and believe it is the most humane thing to do." Crew members of the Australian Snow Dragon, tracked the French vessel L'Astrolabe as it steamed toward the nearest Antarctic port beaching itself in an act of total capitulation. Reporting from a Chinese rescue helicopter, Chinese officials said, "It was incredible. The entire crew had their arms raised with white flags and were walking aimlessly on the frozen beach looking for anyone to carry out their quest."

Well, this is a first even for France. Surrendering to a continent populated by jackass penguins.

Psalm 2:4 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.

darski wrote:

Psalm 2:4 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.

Komissar Blogunov wrote:

darski wrote:

Psalm 2:4 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.

It's the ants of the earth shaking their tiny fists heavenward and shouting, "We'll show you, God!"

Yeah, God. Is that all you got?

darski wrote:

Psalm 2:4 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.

Sometimes I just can't help wishing he'd use his Smite key a little more often though...

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:

darski wrote:

Psalm 2:4 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.

Smite.jpg

Sometimes I just can't help wishing he'd use his Smite key a little more often though...

Yeah, me too, R.O.C.K. (Sigh)

Komissar Blogunov wrote:

I miss the arctic lemurs. Remember the arctic lemurs? Well, they're gone now. Generations of children will grow up never seeing an arctic lemur. I think it's time for another ribbon.

Pamalinsky wrote:

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:

darski wrote:

Psalm 2:4 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.

The attachment Smite.jpg is no longer available

Sometimes I just can't help wishing he'd use his Smite key a little more often though...

Yeah, me too, R.O.C.K. (Sigh)

Komissar Blogunov wrote:

Good thing He chose to smite His Son in our place.

Definitely.

But still...

And then again, the next smite button might be for ... gasp ... me. Or ... gasp again ... thee. Let us be grateful for His mercy.


By "His mercy," of course, I mean Dear Leader's. Or Eric Holder's. Have we not all sinned against the State at some time?

The Goreacle will free them.

Dig4Utopia wrote:The Goreacle will free them.

Amen, Comrade. For the ancient eskimo legend, wherein it is written (on whatever it is that
they write it on up there) states thusly:

"And a nut case shall lead them, and the nut case shall say: 'O Lord, bless this my flame thrower, that with it I mayst blow this ice into puddles, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and Captain Craptek."

Say, Comrade Lev - do you suppose they utilized mustard or ketchup with their Craptek?

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Say, Comrade Lev - do you suppose they utilized mustard or ketchup with their Craptek?

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Say, Comrade Lev - do you suppose they utilized mustard or ketchup with their Craptek?

If we assume "tree rat", then it is written in Men At Arms:

"Why does ketchup cost almost as much as the rat?" said Angua.
"Have you tried rat without ketchup?" said Carrot.

However, Craptek being up a tree, it is written in Monstrous Regiment:

"... If any of you run across a pot of mustard, you hang on to it, it's amazin' what mustard'll help down."

But it has been said by the wise:

"Yours, etcetera, Captain Craptek, in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic."

So on the whole I would have to say a white sauce of some kind. With noodles, possibly.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Say, Comrade Lev - do you suppose they utilized mustard or ketchup with their Craptek?

Really, gentlemen ROCK! (and you too, Comrade Lev) I thought we had an agreement to leave me out of your dinner plans in the future. Can I trust no one?

Captain Craptek wrote:Can I trust no one?

Um ... is this some kinda trick question, Cap'n?

Lev Termen wrote:

Captain Craptek wrote:Can I trust no one?

Um ... is this some kinda trick question, Cap'n?

Comrade Nietzsche advises that people who give us their complete confidence believe they have a right to ours. The inference is false; a gift confers no rights. What does this have to do with trust? I have no idea, but it sounds pleasing to the ear. Ponder this, and get back to me.

#JustSayin

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Images I used

Dear May,

I was hoping this wouldn't be necessary, but I see that the temptation proved irresistible. Must I remind you of the beach party? Yes...THAT beach party!

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrade Nietzsche advises that people who give us their complete confidence believe they have a right to ours. The inference is false; a gift confers no rights. What does this have to do with trust? I have no idea, but it sounds pleasing to the ear. Ponder this, and get back to me.

I have pondered, and I'll see your Comrade Nietzsche and raise you a Comrade Didactylos the Ephebian. I feel he has discussed the subject of trust and squirrels very well indeed, to completion one might say, in his immortal treatise "Volans navem plenam inamabilis sciurus et damnatus":

"You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink. Mine's a double, if you're buying. Thank you. And a packet of nuts."

Superman, hah.

Comrades of the cube, it is obvious that the weather and climate is being openly defiant to our cause. We need to regroup and think of a way to punish the planet for it's political disobedience!

Wait, No! This is a victory of Obama Comrades! he is fixing the polar ice caps! Him and Al Gore have teamed up their brilliant minds and have saved us from ourselves!

Lev Termen wrote:

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrade Nietzsche advises that people who give us their complete confidence believe they have a right to ours. The inference is false; a gift confers no rights. What does this have to do with trust? I have no idea, but it sounds pleasing to the ear. Ponder this, and get back to me.

I have pondered, and I'll see your Comrade Nietzsche and raise you a Comrade Didactylos the Ephebian. I feel he has discussed the subject of trust and squirrels very well indeed, to completion one might say, in his immortal treatise "Volans navem plenam inamabilis sciurus et damnatus":

"You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink. Mine's a double, if you're buying. Thank you. And a packet of nuts."

Superman, hah.

Quite right. Comrade two-Fingers could fly a squirrel better than anyone - ever. And remember; "You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him", or put another way, "You can throw a squirrel a lot farther than a Buick."

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Captain Craptek - you will never see me coming!
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That's what Pamalinsky said.

Psssst.......Captain Craptek,

Seems things might start getting a little hotter for you around here with all the mentions of you as an entree. Don't worry I've got your back. I've made some arrangements in case you need to go underground in a hurry. A place no self respecting prog would ever venture to in the heart of Red State country. You'll be safe there. Just take a right at Little Rock and follow the signs.

Comrade Putout wrote:.
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With sincere apologies to Colonel Lukianov!
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Comrade Sista Putout,

That post was most equal. Most!

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:That's what Pamalinsky said.

Way to go with the ol' double entendre there, R.O.C.K.! I just love double entendres! Teehee.

p.s." This is regarding Putout's comment: "You'll never see me coming."


Yes, even amongst progs, modesty and decorum sometimes prevail. But, not often.

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:Psssst.......Captain Craptek,

Seems things might start getting a little hotter for you around here with all the mentions of you as an entree. Don't worry I've got your back. I've made some arrangements in case you need to go underground in a hurry. A place no self respecting prog would ever venture to in the heart of Red State country. You'll be safe there. Just take a right at Little Rock and follow the signs.

Commodore,

I hope the comrades aren't too hungry, cause I've lost a little weight this year. But regardless, I'm ready to do whatever it takes for the Party. Forward!

Comrade Putout wrote:.
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With sincere apologies to Colonel Lukianov!
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how-many-times.jpg

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is-this-the-stones.jpg

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99-balloons.jpg

Apologies accepted, protecting revolution is never easy, but after this sit-in with Pajama Comrade, I think I will need to take a bath, and its only Monday.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:That's what Pamalinsky said.

Yeah, Comrade R.O.C.K.!


(Sigh!) You guys always see me coming, and that's what I'm trying to avoid by taking classes in certain visual communication stuff. I'm doing very well, thank you, that's why I don't post as often as I did before. But, you better watch out!


"Keep 'em guessing" was "great advice" from a former prog friend of mine who did just that, never revealing his true viewpoint and was proud of this ability. I say "former prog friend" because I just can't bear to speak with him anymore. It's like talking to an ever changing cloud. Sometimes it seems like you're talking to George Washington only to realize you're actually communicating with Josef Stalin.


Yeah, I just love prigs. Oops, I did it again! I always, I dunno why, misspell the word "progs." Actually, while trying to fix this misnomer, I saw that trusty spellcheck was on the job correcting me. Please forgive me, Comrades, for being so behind the tech bubble.


Love you R.O.C.K.

Pamalinsky wrote:

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:That's what Pamalinsky said.

Way to go with the ol' double entendre there, R.O.C.K.! I just love double entendres! Teehee.

p.s." This is regarding Putout's comment: "You'll never see me coming."


Yes, even amongst progs, modesty and decorum sometimes prevail. But, not often.

Oh, and I must add this because it made me laugh so hard I could not convey this to my sweetheart and other friends without almost losing my breath.


It's about Beyonce and JayZ, the epitome of class and culture in today's Amerika.
Evidently they bought their 2 year old daughter a gold-plated rocking horse worth $600,000.


One of the comments about this purchase said this:


"I hope she scratches it with coins and shit, and rubs Play Doh all over it and shits herself while riding it."


Hilarious!