The People's Cube - Political Satire

President Obama on 2014: "A Breakthrough Year"

Welcome to the sixth glorious year of the Party's Five Year Plan, comrades!

And may he - and we - have many, many more, Comrade People's Director!

The wheat harvest has increased from four billion metric tons six years ago to eight hundred metric tons today! The numbers of health insured has increased from three hundred millions to eight millions! Worker wages have gone up from one hundred and twenty five kopeks at the beginning of the five year plan to seven kopeks today! The five year plan marches on to great success!

We shall break out the extra ration of beet vodka we have been saving for this very moment. Praise be to the Republic! Long live the Cube! Салют!

All hail our glorious People's Director on his long march to conquer the interwebs.

I wish to report that his visionary five year plan to create a multitude of splinter cells to spread disinformation educate the masses has borne fruit.

My humble website has successfully captured a significant share of the proletariat yearning for Conservative lies while Commissar Reiuxcat's site is off to a stellar start.

Super Commissar Maksim's visual agit-prop has exceeded its projected quota and Commissar BigFurHat's website continues to enjoy more than it's equal share of traffic.

We owe our success to our friend and mentor Red Square and pledge our continued allegiance to his cause.

Respectfully submitted,

Comrade Whoopie,
First Secretary, Directorate of Splitters and Factions
Inner Party functionary of the People's Cube

Suddenly, after reading all these posts, I feel happy! Thank you Comrades for giving my life meaning! I love you with all my heart. Happy New Year!

Welcome back to the beet fields Comrad Whoopie. It's been a while

UnifiedInformation wrote:We shall break out the extra ration of beet vodka we have been saving for this very moment. Praise be to the Republic! Long live the Cube! Салют!

That's the beet vodka that's been chilling in the toilet tank, right?

Muzhelozhstvo wrote:That's the beet vodka that's been chilling in the toilet tank, right?

But of course, Comrade. Where else could we store such a valuable item?

Comrades, is it true that Our Glorious Leader™ has promised that if we like our Potemkin Village we can keep it?

On a slightly related note, 2014 also marks the 44th anniversary of the ten years we have left—only ten years, comrades!—to save the planet!

Bill G wrote:Comrades, is it true that Our Glorious Leader™ has promised that if we like our Potemkin Village we can keep it?

Apparently if we like 2013 we are allowed to keep a good portion of it (provided nothing changed in your life), but Comrade Obama never said anything about keeping 2014.

P.S. Comrade Squirrel, Supreme Ruler of the CCCP. . . . Since Party Chairman and President Barack Obama needs many extra pixels for 2014, I'm wondering if you have beat down spoken to potential violators >UNIFIED INFORMATION?<--------------Not that anyone here is in violation, just wondering?

Just think, Pinkie. If we hadn't been the vanguard of environmental justice, the planet would have been destroyed by the capitalist greed of the greedy capitalists 34 years ago. (I figure that if this excuse works for the massive amounts of money we flushed into the coffers of crony capitalists and the unions in the guise of the stimulus package--that is, if we had not done so entire planetary economy would have collapsed and many women and children would have been vicitims thereof--it should work for this too.)

Five, four, three , two, one

Glorious New Year!!

Should old arrangements be blown up
And driven from the mind
Should Hope and Change be fore-sought
Enshrine the O's designs
For O's designs my mates
For O's designs
We'll smash the cup of freedom yet
For O's designs

I am so happy to be part of this glorious however-many-years-it-takes plan! Thank you, glorious People's Director, and all the devoted Cubist progs (who didn't build this but nevertheless made it possible).

Prost!

A GLORIOUS 2014 to All!!!!!

The year that we will all doggedly march in lock step to finally achieve The Progressive World of Next Tuesday!!!!

Callmelennie wrote:Five, four, three , two, one

Glorious New Year!!

Should old arrangements be blown up
And driven from the mind
Should Hope and Change be fore-sought
Enshrine the O's designs
For O's designs my mates
For O's designs
We'll smash the cup of freedom yet
For O's designs

Kudos Comrade Lennie! Kudos! Clap! Clap! Clap! (repeat)

Red Walrus wrote:

Bill G wrote:Comrades, is it true that Our Glorious Leader™ has promised that if we like our Potemkin Village we can keep it?

Apparently if we like 2013 we are allowed to keep a good portion of it (provided nothing changed in your life), but Comrade Obama never said anything about keeping 2014.

P.S. Comrade Squirrel, Supreme Ruler of the CCCP. . . . Since Party Chairman and President Barack Obama needs many extra pixels for 2014, I'm wondering if you have beat down spoken to potential violators >UNIFIED INFORMATION?<--------------Not that anyone here is in violation, just wondering?

Comrade Pinnipedia,

Your suspicions are not without merit. Apparently, certain members of the Cube commune have pixel allotments that can only be categorized as "special" in nature. Possibly this is related to their avatar coloration, such as,... red... possibly, or initials, say,...Oh, I don't know,...RR... or something like that. I am monitoring the situation closely and will submit a form P266-14A when the moment is right. Keep your eyes open, comrade!

Soviet Mike Komsomolets wrote:Prost!

Comrade Mike,

I must apologize for my relatives overindulgence last evening. Clearly, they have given new meaning to the phrase "getting stiff". A short working vacation up north will do them both a world of good.

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Perhaps if we had a machine like this we would only need 5 years!
My new friend Illya and I watched this story on New Years Eve.
He has a VD.
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Ivan Betinov wrote:If we hadn't been the vanguard of environmental justice, the planet would have been destroyed by the capitalist greed of the greedy capitalists 34 years ago.

Exactly, товарищ Бетинов! I too am wondering, when the Party's field operatives (like Gore, Biden, and others) will start claiming credit for Global Warming failing to materialize.

Would not it be a major propaganda win, if the anti-Capitalism measures currently in place were portrayed as already working to slow the dreadful Warming down -- instead of being seen as impeding development and impoverishing people? Would not it make it easier to roll out more such measures?