The People's Cube - Political Satire

Within the past several months, U.S. citizens have been horrified by a wave of random physical assaults. It is hard to put a finger on who is committing these crimes, since news articles are scant on physical descriptions of the attackers.

Most news reports lack identifying photos, and simply state that the attackers are "youths" or "teens."

To speed up the investigation, a criminal profiler with the FBI was brought in to form a motive and physical description of the attackers. The profiler came up with the following:

The attackers are most certainly white male youths.

The savageness of these beatings leads me to believe that these youths are angry that they are privileged.

Other social accounts were uncovered, linking to cell phone videos of the attacks, posted on a website called White WorldStar.


With this influx of new clues, we are confident that the police are close to making several arrests. Local prosecutors are preparing to ask that the Scandinavian youths receive the maximum jail sentence, without the possibility of parole.

One local prosecutor's assistant, on condition of anonymity, stated that, "We can't just have Scandinavian male youths roaming the streets. They should be locked up, where they belong."

Will the Propaganda Ministry be publishing photos of the Ladies Auxiliary to this gang of hooligans? I hear they often disguise themselves as a Swedish bikini volleyball team. The People have a right to be informed...

Tovarichi wrote:Will the Propaganda Ministry be publishing photos of the Ladies Auxiliary to this gang of hooligans? I hear they often disguise themselves as a Swedish bikini volleyball team. The People have a right to be informed...

You request...MiniTrue provides!

I hear they are recruiting ... and getting 1% response ....

That's right, Olga, and it's becoming more and more of a problem in American cities every day!

Here we see a young Swedish gang practicing the Norwegian mixed martial art called "Jeg knuse ansiktet ditt", a deadly form of MMA that more and more Scandinavian gangs are becoming proficient in.

It's not uncommon for these white youths to approach an elderly African-American man or woman on the street and suddenly burst into Scandinavian national anthems as they bludgeon the victim, sometimes to death, with their tiny white fists.

If only the mainstream media would cover this terrifying trend openly and honestly - it's become dangerous for the elderly African-American population in our cities to even step outside their doors, day or night.

Norwegian ethnic gangs are rampant in Minnesota, drawing inspiration from talk radio - specifically, Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor as their thought leader.

It is time we take hate radio off the air and ban this offensive show. We can start with cutting off their funding by harassing their sponsors - Ketchup Advisory Board and the federal government... no, wait... never mind...

The Norwegian knockout game is played by randomly stuffing lutefisk in the assailant's face. If you pass out, you are not Scandinavian and likely have some name other than Swen or Ole.