After weeks of being so oppressed by capitalism that I haven't been able to make my presence known around the Cube, I finally return and what do I find? Or perhaps I should say, what do I NOT find?

I don't find anything pertaining to Chris Christie. I don't see any graphics. I don't see any text. Worst of all, I don't even hear any banging of drums! And I should hear them relentlessly pounding for his much deserved downfall with every beat of my caring, compassionate, Progressive heart that belongs to our Empress Hillary and all the glory she will bring us as part of the ongoing, fundamental transformation of America that was started by Barack Obama.

Therefore, I am starting this thread and I expect all of the Collective to contribute and keep it going until that big bully is consigned to the ash heap of wrong-sided history where he belongs along with Herman Cain, Rick Santorum, Michele Bachmann, Sarah Palin, Ted Cruz, and all the rest of those conservative freaks (but I repeat myself) who dared to threaten our anointed ones with frightfully high poll numbers.

As of last night, Chris Christie was still riding high at 59 percent. This, despite Bridgegate which he simply HAD to know about because you can't be governor of any state and not know the location of all state-owned traffic cones at any given time. This, despite new revelations that he thought to waste our precious tax dollars on an ad campaign featuring himself. Precious tax dollars that could have been used to expand the George Washington Bridge—or better yet, buy more traffic cones for when Obama comes to town for a DNC fundraiser.

We need to drag his poll numbers into the deepest, darkest hole we can dig, and that means unearthing more revelations. More questions. More accusations. More investigations. More complaints. More doubts.

More dirt to distract the masses from piddly things like Iran and Whatzitghazi. Dammit, as a Progressive and product of public schooling, I shouldn't be able to find those two places on a map, let alone type them out! What more proof than that does anyone need that we're not talking enough about Chris Christie and all the filthy things he's doing, things for which he can never apologize enough! We the People will accept nothing less than his resignation and with it, his total, irrevocable withdrawal from any presumptuous aspirations he may be harboring to challenge Hillary!

So you will post your latest, newest, worst, and/or favorite Chris Christie scandals here!

FAQs

Q. But Pinkie, if he's going to run for President in 2016, then he'll have to resign as governor anyway. By forcing his resignation, aren't we really pushing him into the race against our beloved Empress?

A. First of all, never “but Pinkie” me! This is a shovel-ready job if ever I saw one, and if we keep shoveling scandal after scandal onto him, he'll resign not to run for president, but because the mounting scandals will cause him too many distractions from the job NJ voters stupidly elected him to do—and so he'll quit for some faux-noble B.S. like “the good of the people of New Jersey.” Then we can call him a quitter who can't take the heat. Who can't multi-task. Who can't govern and deal with critics at the same time. Who obviously is not cut out to be Leader of the Free World, even though we already know that.

Q. Only why bring him down now? Why don't we continue with our usual M.O. of praising him to the skies as the conservative both sides like, who can bring both sides together, and then when he clinches the nomination, shazaam!--with the help of our minions in the MSM, he instantly turns into an extremist and the next incarnation of Hitler?

A. That's two questions. To answer the first, I guess The Party just couldn't hold its load for another two years because he's polling as high as Hillary and just won re-election in a blue state. To answer the second, I fear the GOP may be catching on to our usual M.O. Remember Jon Huntsman? I don't, either.

Q. Most conservatives, especially the hard right ones and the teabaggers, will probably say good riddance to him because they think he's a RINO—a Democrat donkey in elephant's hide. What if they end up nominating a “real” conservative who could ultimately prove to be The Party's worst nightmare?

A. Comrades. Seriously. Do you really believe the GOP will ever have enough sense to try that? And by the way, a RINO is not a Democrat donkey in elephant's hide. To us, he's a useful idiot. But to those real conservatives, he's just making an ass out of himself.

Now grab your shovels, start digging, and let's bury Christie for good!

Commissarka Pinkie is a regular contributor to The People's Cube, and is renowned and admired by the masses for her dedication to raising awareness of how much she cares. When she isn't busy making an issue out of everything or whacking unruly proles with her shovel, she enjoys spending other people's money, occupying other people's property, and playing moral authority and victim cards.

If New Jersey were to be down to its last donut, Chris Christie would have it on his Pizza...
Commisarka, you have been away for so long! I know this because the swelling has subsided and my newest scars have almost healed... Welcome back.
If you will excuse me, I have beets that need weeding, and a quota to meet.


You new comrades--head for the high ground, and keep your heads down... SHE's BACK!

Did I mention that Laura Ingraham is a bottle-blonde?

Comrades!

After that oh so subtle direction of our dear Commissarka Pinkie to dig into this Chris Christie and his horrid evil background. I went to that most renowned and reliable source Wikipedia. I am still fumigating my computer from what I read. Chris Christie is a made guy and all mobbed up!!!!!

It's right there in Wiki for all to see with this info there under appointments, to wit:

"Christie's aunt's second husband's brother was an organized crime figure:"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Christie

It's obvious that he is close to this relation and that they are running guns to Mexico along with a meth lab.

DISGUSTING

I heard that Chris Christie's long-form birth certificate only exists as a layered PDF file.

There's also some mystery involved with his sealed college transcripts and his US passport. It is unclear how many social security numbers he used, how he paid for his education, if he received any grants as a foreign student, if he had ties to radical organizations, if went to a radical anti-American church, if he was friends with any known domestic terrorists, if he frequented gay bathhouses in Chicago, if he sniffed cocaine in his limo, if he won elections by digging dirt on his opponents and opening their divorce records, manipulating vote count, etc.

More recently, he has been under criticism over sending guns to Mexican drug cartels, his involvement with the IRS targeting his political enemies, his inaction when the US ambassador was attacked in Benghazi, giving government money to green energy swindlers in exchange for campaign donations, help them boost their stock and had his cronies sell the stock right before the bankruptcy - and the list goes on.

And finally, it appears that Chris Christie's wife got her college buddy a multi-million dollar contract to build a government website that didn't work.

If all of the above is true, Chris Christie is guaranteed to have a stellar political future as a media darling and a popular two-term president.

All he needs to do is become a Democrat.

Oh, that Chris Christie. I was in a traffic jam just the other day. I hear there's traffic jams all over the country now. He's out of control! Somebody's got to do something. Who does he think he is? He makes me so mad.

He's a bad, bad man.

This has been a LONG time coming, comrades!!

I remember being stuck on GWB for long periods of time even before Christie was governor. I had a part-time job in Fort Lee a couple of nights a week, traveling from Brooklyn. Most of the Manhattan-bound drivers weren't Fort Lee locals, they just needed to get to New York. Those New Jersey governors must have enemies everywhere!

Sending an ambulance from New York to pick up an emergency patient in New Jersey and then come back to Manhattan across that bridge on most days would mean a death sentence.

I guess Christie wouldn't be having these problems now if he created one open lane for emergency vehicles, government limos, news vans, and cars with Obama bumper stickers on them. All those others aren't important enough and should be using public transportation anyway.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA -

I finally understand the meaning of The Crunge: a drummer with a severe lead poisoning needs to get from New Jersey to a Manhattan clinic and can't find the confounded bridge.

Chris Christie must answer for John Bonham's foul and most unnatural death!

As the pogrom against Kristie ramps up, allow me to offer my expertise in hiding any decline in his weight!

Perhaps we should also denounce him as a Denier.

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2016 begins...
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Tovarichi told me never make eye contact with anyone in a red babushka, does that mean not reading her glorious prose on Peoples blog? If not, Christie should be given a pass (pun intended) on Bridgegate, if only to use him as deflection from Republikkkans wanting to advance Gov. Walker to nomination in 2016.

Herr Lurkeroffen wrote:Tovarichi told me never make eye contact with anyone in a red babushka, does that mean not reading her glorious prose on Peoples blog? If not, Christie should be given a pass (pun intended) on Bridgegate, if only to use him as deflection from Republikkkans wanting to advance Gov. Walker to nomination in 2016.

Comrade Lurkeroffen, it is perfectly acceptable to read Commissarka Pinkie's glorious prose, and even to quote it - but be very VERY careful, especially if she has her shovel - which is pretty much all the time.

A WHACK! from Pinkie is something many of us have experienced, and trust me - you don't want to go there.

No. Eye. Contact.

Let us not forget the MILLIONs of Government O'Bucks intended to help the victims of Bush's storm WASTED promoting tourism to New Jersey!

Here we have O'Bucks that should have been given out for free for votes being paid to companies that actually produce something all in an apparent effort to bring people with money to New Jersey so they can engage in "commerce" <spit!> with people of New Jersey trying to rebuild their lives by making a living "working" <spit spit>!!!

So, word on the dirt roads behind the beetfields is that Chris Christie had George Bush send Hurricane Katrina to New Orleans so that Jersey could make more money on Sandy.

He's also personally responsible for polar bears being exiled to ever-shrinking chunks of ice; bad bio-rhythms, starvation in Africa, and the loss of ozone in the atmosphere.

Remember the Plymouth K car and "New Coke?" Yep, blame fatboy. Where are all the unicorns? Christie ate them like FLATUS eats tamales.

Herr Lurkeroffen wrote:never make eye contact with anyone in a red babushka, does that mean not reading her glorious prose on Peoples blog?.

New comrade, this is the challenge of life in the beetfields... Pinkie cannot be ignored, yet at the same time, you can't get close...study her writings for they are pure party line, but never discuss without being well out of range. She also has a vicious follow through that will add power to her swing. In recent history, only one person has survived four whacks, and they were delivered in a single post.

(Besides, I think she likes me...I hope comrade Putout doesn't get jealous--that could get so awkward)

Chris christie is contributing more to world hunger than most of the other capitalists combined!
Chris christie denied reinforcements to the Peoples Army on 9/12, when Baptist Teahadists attacked the peoples consulate in Kidnapistan! When the morning came, he blamed the attack on an "offensive" WeTube video!
Chris Christie is racist against Japanese-Hispanic-Slavic-turk-nordics!

Chris christie broke Healthcare.gov!

Little-known facts about Chris Christie:

• Tony Soprano once put up money to carve Chris Christie's face on a mountain near Mt. Rushmore. They had to give up the project because they couldn't find one large enough to hold his face.
  
• When Superstorm Sandy was looking for a place to make landfall, Chris Christie went out on the beach and gave it a roundhouse kick. Sandy immediately came ashore.
  
• Chris Christie didn't close any lanes on the George Washington Bridge; he simply stared at it and the lanes closed themselves.
  
• One time a cobra bit Chris Christie. The snake is still addicted to doughnuts to this day.
  
• Another time, Chuck Norris went to Jersey to kick Chris Christie's ass. It took Norris a week to get his foot unstuck.

You know why those 30,000,000 people that don't have health insurance and were the big reason for ObamaCare haven't signed up for ObamaCare yet? They're still stuck in traffic thanks to Chris Christie!

Hillary Clinton says she had lots and lots of security people on their way to Banghazi but they got stuck in traffic on the George Washington bridge! So if you want to blame someone for Benghazi you know who who's who now don't you Republicans. So there.

Comrade Putin,

Apparently Chris Christie has been eating more than just "Eclairs".

I have it on very good authority that jimmy Hoffa is buried under the GWB and Christie did it.

And I don't want to hear any nonsense about him being 13 at the time. It could happen.

Christopher Christie takes his orders from the Pope AND Sheldon Adelson! He is both proselytizing for more influence by the Catholic Church and Christian conservatives meddling in "our" government and yet as a puppet to that scum Adelson. Confused? Don't be... he is carrying out the liberal social agenda of 'Tikkun Olam' (translation: get rid of the Gentiles). He wants government forced Christian conversions to "smoke 'em out" so he can then destroy them using similar techniques as were deployed in that Catholic cesspool of Fort Lee, thus handing control of the USSA over to Israel!

Soviet Mike Komsomolets wrote:Christopher Christie takes his orders from the Pope AND Sheldon Adelson! He is both proselytizing for more influence by the Catholic Church and Christian conservatives meddling in "our" government and yet as a puppet to that scum Adelson. Confused? Don't be... he is carrying out the liberal social agenda of 'Tikkun Olam' (translation: get rid of the Gentiles). He wants government forced Christian conversions to "smoke 'em out" so he can then destroy them using similar techniques as were deployed in that Catholic cesspool of Fort Lee, thus handing control of the USSA over to Israel!

Another conspiracy? Oh Dear! Just when I thought I had everything figured out...another Saturday night shot!

Another scrap of information leaks out about Chris Christie's (if that is even his real name) problematic lifestyle. It has been documented his real name is "Barney", once danced in strip clubs, and ultimately failed at that just like he fails at bully politics. The thing speaks for itself, as Barney, talented as he was at pole dancing, continues to "dance" his way through life on a platform of lies and deceit. My instincts tell me there's a lot more dirt out there on this scumbag, and I would not be at all surprised, if George Bush was found to be the real puppet master behind all of the filth coming from this liar's mouth.

[img]/images/Chris_Christie_George_Bush_Devil.png[/img]

Chris Christie is new George Bush

Comrade, does this mean we can finally stop blaming Bush?

Capt. Commie wrote:Comrade, does this mean we can finally stop blaming Bush?

Certainly not! Who do you think made Christie do it?

Capt. Commie wrote:Comrade, does this mean we can finally stop blaming Bush?

NEVER!!

The Looking Spoon sez:

Maybe Chris Christie can regain popularity by hitching himself to a train-wreck people don't hate...