1/18/2014, 8:38 pm
Comrades, it would appear that a 17 year old from the glorious Motherland may be behind the theft of credit card and other data from Target stores, as well as Neiman Marcus and possibly other American retail outlets.
We spoke to young Sergei Softwarakov (not his real name) on the condition that we wouldn't reveal his true identity.
"Sure, I hit big Target bull's eye clear from Mother Russia!" exclaimed the strapping young Russian during our interview, "and not only that - I sell my software to several cyber criminals and they attack evil capitalism with one - two - three punch! Like Knockout Game Americans so proud of."
We asked Sergei how he managed to write his anti-capitalist software at such a young age:
"Hey, I meet Edward Snowden, American hero, in airport. We become good friends, and he gives me tips."
Young Softwarakov also stated that, "HA HA, capitalism bad for America, but very good for me!"
We spoke to young Sergei Softwarakov (not his real name) on the condition that we wouldn't reveal his true identity.
"Sure, I hit big Target bull's eye clear from Mother Russia!" exclaimed the strapping young Russian during our interview, "and not only that - I sell my software to several cyber criminals and they attack evil capitalism with one - two - three punch! Like Knockout Game Americans so proud of."
We asked Sergei how he managed to write his anti-capitalist software at such a young age:
"Hey, I meet Edward Snowden, American hero, in airport. We become good friends, and he gives me tips."
Young Softwarakov also stated that, "HA HA, capitalism bad for America, but very good for me!"
