1/28/2014, 8:01 pm
Comrades, I do believe we can safely refer to this tuesday as next tuesday. Now, some of you may be under the illusion that we have heard such an evaluation before in the past. You might hold memories of a time in which you believe you were told that your problems were finished, and that Utopia had finally been achieved.
Now, you know that these thoughts are illogical, as you can clearly see the injustice and oppression committed by still powerful capitalists surrounding us every day. And what we don't see, we are informed of by our Dear Leader, who never has lied.
But you still cannot seem to disregard the notion that the Party has not made good on its promise that we would have achieved utopia at present. Such delusions are understandable. They are the result of an idle mind that has not planted enough beets, and has become restless. Discordance with party doctrine may be a rare condition, but can be cured if treated early.
Talk to a commissar, and consider enrolling in an Obamacare plan that covers Weak Socialism. The Truth™ is, Our Dear leader opens his mouth this day. And when his O'liness speaketh, the faithful take heed of the wisdom which falls from the mouth of their champion like snow upon their heads during a Polar vortex™.
[table][/table]Tonight shall our dear leader announce the elimination of all obstructions to the Progressive world of next Tuesday. Tomorrow, the sun will rise, the flowers will bloom, the unicorns will dance through the meadows, the Healthcare and food stamps will descend from the heavens, and the TeaThuglicans and Racist bigots will be destroyed in a torrent of Flame and brimstone. The blood of the foe will run like a tsunami crashing down upon their own regressive wicked souls.
Forward at full steam! Bring us to next tuesday, with the swiftness of a train! A train bound for Siberia!