The People's Cube - Political Satire

I've been thinking.

It has been awhile since Oleg came out with Shakedown Socialism.
It is time for a followup.
I have a serious suggestion.

Oleg has an advantage over the rest of us. He has lived in a totalitarian state and has acquired the special skills needed to function in daily life. The rest of us are not so lucky.
I suggest he write a series of short essays, which could be marketed separately, but ultimately would be collected together as a short book. Each essay would give tips to the rest of us so we can quickly gain the skills we will need to get by.

Oleg may not know what skills are lacking, so I think we should all come up with some topics for him to consider. I'll start out by suggesting the following essay topics:

1) "How do I get my washing machine fixed?"
2) "It takes a village (to brainwash a child)"
3) "How to find the black market and buy products and services (without getting burned)"
4) "Ways to suck up to your equal superiors and get special perks"'
5) "How not to attract the attention of the authorities"

It is unfair that Oleg knows more than we do about these things. He needs to either submit to a prefrontal lobotomy or alternatively give us this important instruction so we can all be equal.

Getting a washing machine fixed is not easy. However, it is definitely easier than acquiring a new one....I once heard a story.....

Of a man who was out looking for a washing machine in moscow. If I remember correctly, he asks the lady who he thinks would know where in the city he may find one. She tells him,
"nowhere here in moscow. You should go to saint Petersburg, where they are constructed."
"No..." The man explains.."I have been in saint petersburg. I WORK in the factories where they are put together. But I can find None!"
The Woman looks carefully around her, to affirm that they are not being listened to.
"....Wellll..." she begins carefully, "Have you considered, maybe, waiting until after your comrades have left the factory, sneaking out some spare parts, and assembling a washing machine yourself at home?"
"I have Tried this already also! But I always end up with machine guns...."

Nice one, Thought Sheriff. I know the same one about a guy who worked at a Chelabinsk Baby Crib Factory #32 and when he had a baby he decided to steal some parts from work and assemble a baby crib at home. But every time he tried it was either a machine gun or a grenade launcher.

This story fits nicely with comrades currently in Washington, who think they can take the same ideas of economic equality and redistribution as the Soviets did, only they can put them together differently, with a much nicer result. However, when things start falling apart, the only course of action will be to build a thing that actually functions - like they did it in the USSR and all the subsequent social experiments thereafter.

And the only functioning thing that can be built out of machine gun parts is not a a baby crib or a laundry unit - it's a machine gun.

ratskins wrote:Oleg has an advantage over the rest of us. He has lived in a totalitarian state.... The rest of us are not so lucky.

Ah, but Comrade Ratskins, every day, in every way, we become luckier and luckier.

Is that the Washington Ratskins, by the way? If so, I protest on the behalf of Captain Craptek rodents everywhere.

Hmmm...comrade square, I liked mine better...I will distribute the wealth of my joke to the joke masses accordingly...

I just heard one of the most hilarious jokes in my life! I would tell it to you, but I could not...I just gave a man ten years for it!

Hey! did you hear the one about Stalin, Nikita, and Brezhnev who all enter a...MMMPHFFF GACH! COUGHD.....

Ooops. Sorry. After my succession of glorious picture posts, I realized upon closer inspection that the topic is Totalitarian TIPS

If you need help erasing that "artwork" just ask...

Tovarichi wrote:If you need help erasing that "artwork" just ask...

Rub all you like... that ink does not come off easy. My advice is to let Che Guevara; Castro, and Chavez fade over time.

Comrade Mikey, the artwork is superb, and may I say the canvas is impressive;

we do need to get you some strawberry flavored ink in stock at Peoples Store #86...

Keep up the great work.