The People's Cube - Political Satire

University of Colorado regents voted 8-1 to fire controversial professor Ward Churchill this afternoon.

CU News wrote: After the quick vote, dissenters in the crowd at the Glenn Miller Ballroom shouted "bullshit" and "cowards." Churchill supporters converged in the back of the ballroom after the vote, playing drums and chanting.

Our faithful agents in Colorado sent me an email last night saying this:

Our faithful agents in Colorado wrote:Mark was the only counter-protester there, which makes for a higher than usual ratio of conservatives, since there were only 14 Churchill supporters at CU Boulder. There were however about 50 cameras, and the firing was the big headline all over Colorado news.

They took pictures which they uploaded to Flickr:

Ward Churchill, Fake Indian, Fired by CU Boulder

Here is a sample:



In the end all progressive education with its "tolerance," "open-mindedness," "sensitivity," political correctness, ethnic studies, America-bashing, and activism in the classroom boils down to a simple statement: "Smash the F**k out of Capitalism."

The issue is not the issue: the revolution is the issue!

I don't get it.

Why are all lefty college kids so scrawny?? The Vegan diet, perhaps?

Dreaming up illogical conclusions and justifications for their actions burns a lot of calories. Then the heroin kicks in and anything they just ate gets converted into idiot fuel.

And the vegan diet (as you mentioned) coupled with constant exercise of their progressive sign waving arm keeps all body fat at bay.

If you look closely, you can see that his right arm is slightly bigger than his left. You would think that they would be stronger from all the "work" they do protesting, but then the weed that they smoked turns them into lethargic turds who let all that newly built muscle tissue atrophy into nothingness. And then, they get the munchies, go to Taco Bell (Even though the other day they protested it for being a big evil corporation), and order enough cheap food to put an elephant into a coma. But before they realize that they should be dead (because their senses are so dull) they reach for their trusty heroin needle and the whole process continues again.

The entire process lasts about a day, and is continually practiced throughout most of their adult life.

Viva la Revolucion!

Reuters

Ward Churchill, Patriot, Defender of Free Speech.




Ward Churchill was unjustly fired yesterday from his tenured position by the University of Colorado Board of Regents in a 8-1 vote.



"I am going nowhere," Churchill told reporters, calling the academic investigation "a farce" and "a fraud, plus if anybody knows anything about frauds or farces, it's me, Honest Injun Kemo Sabe."

Churchill's attorney, David Lane, said the decision was retribution for Churchill's 9/11 remarks and said he would file suit on Wednesday.

"For the public at large, the message is there will be a payback for free speech," Lane said. "It sends a message out to the academic community generally that if you stick your neck out and make politically inflammatory comments, you will be dragged through the mud for two years and you will ultimately have your tenure terminated."

"And furthermore," Lane stated, "everybody knows that it's OK to compare anybody who works and pays taxes in America to supporting the Nazi government that America is infamously known for. My client, Ward Churchill, wasn't just talking about just desserts meted out to the Little Eichmanns in The World Trade Center by the righteous Islamic Freedom Fighters on that glorious day of justice also known as September 11, 2001, but for all Americans who work and pay taxes that supports this evil, corrupt system. If those Little Eichmanns hadn't gone to work on that day as willing accomplices to this uncivilized bastard society, they'd still be alive. Let that be a lesson for all those who work, that aren't in academia."



Univeristy of Colorado President Hank Brown claimed "the decision was really pretty basic" based on the school's findings of plagiarism, falsification and other infractions involving work unrelated to Churchill's remarks on the Sept. 11 victims. Brown said the school had little choice but to fire Churchill to protect the integrity of the university's research.

"The individual did not express regret, did not apologize, did not indicate a willingness to refrain from this type of falsification in the future," Brown said.
"Do you, at an institution that has a fundamental role in basic research for our society, accept the continued presence of someone who shows a pattern of wanting to continue to falsify research?" Brown stated.



United States Senators Joe Biden and Ted Kennedy rushed to Churchill's defense.


"That's ridiculous! The whole world knows that plagiarism, falsification, and just plain moonbatty behavior is perfectly acceptable at our nation's institutions of higher learning. Look at me, for goodness sake! I had been involved in a similar incident during my first year at Syracuse University Law School in 1965. I initially received an “F” in an introductory class on legal methodology for writing a paper relying almost exclusively on a single Fordham Law Review article." Biden told reporters. "I also was seen on C-SPAN claiming that I graduated in the top half of my class in law school. In actuality, I graduated 76th out of 85 students. Now I'm running for President again and I serve on the Judiciary Committee. Whoo-hoo!"

"What's the fuss" chimed in Kennedy, "I was kicked out of Harvard for cheating. It's not like Ward left the scene of an accident in which a person died, and hey, that's no big deal either."


Congressman Keith Ellison, D-MN, supported Ward Churchill's "Little Eichmann" comments. "Calling people Nazis totally out of context is a perfectly acceptable form of free speech. Ward has suffered a great injustice. Excuse me, I smell smoke, I think Bush's Reichstag is burning."



Churchill stated even further "Don't give up the ship! I have not yet begun to fight! Damn the torpedoes! Remember the Maine! I shall return! I am not a crook!

Premier Betty wrote:Dreaming up illogical conclusions and justifications for their actions burns a lot of calories. Then the heroin kicks in and anything they just ate gets converted into idiot fuel.

And the vegan diet (as you mentioned) coupled with constant exercise of their progressive sign waving arm keeps all body fat at bay.

If you look closely, you can see that his right arm is slightly bigger than his left. You would think that they would be stronger from all the "work" they do protesting, but then the weed that they smoked turns them into lethargic turds who let all that newly built muscle tissue atrophy into nothingness. And then, they get the munchies, go to Taco Bell (Even though the other day they protested it for being a big evil corporation), and order enough cheap food to put an elephant into a coma. But before they realize that they should be dead (because their senses are so dull) they reach for their trusty heroin needle and the whole process continues again.

The entire process lasts about a day, and is continually practiced throughout most of their adult life.

Maybe Moore should take a lesson or two from these people.

This is a sad event for Socialism. However, this shows that our mainstream media censorship is working. The masses know nothing about this. My commissars at our news organizations have been busy suppressing this outrage. I will reward them for their hard work with some vodka and a bag of potatoes!