The People's Cube - Political Satire

This week, the head honcho of Mozilla got the ax for making a private donation in support of traditional marriage. How dare he!

One would think that the traditional bigots would learn by now, to keep their beliefs to themselves. Tolerance only goes one way.

Seeing many similarities between themselves and the Salem Witch Hunters of 1692 (progress), the Mafia have enlisted the services of a Puritan public shaming consultancy firm, comprised of members of the notorious court.


Judge William Stoughton, unrepentant prosecutor of the witch trials, produced a statement on this new partnership and all it entails:

"We are pleased to join with the Mafia to purge any dissenters from our midst.

All who believe marriage is between one man and one woman shall now be emblazoned with the scarlet letter 'T.' If the Traditional Marriage Heretic shall not willingly be emblazoned, they shall be subjected to any of the following methods of torture:

• Hanging or drowning (If God supports traditional marriage, he will save you);
  
• Pressed to death with stones, placed on the Heretic by members of the community;
  
• Kept in a basement dungeon (standing room only) until skeletonized;
  
• Banished to the furthest outskirts of the town;
  
• The Heretics' names will be posted on the Scarlet T Facebook page. Then the worldwide Internet Community can call the Heretic's employer and demand they be fired.

*Under no circumstances shall the Traditional Marriage Heretic be permitted to maintain employment.*

We also recommend that the word 'Hate' be redefined as, 'anything we disagree with.' "

If the Mafia follows this advice, it shouldn't be long before there are no people left who support traditional marriage (or at least any who admit it publicly.) Fingers crossed! The danger of loss of life, or livelihood, is too great of a threat to continue with beliefs espoused in (what we believe is) bigotry.

Certainly brings a new meaning to sleeping with the fishes. Undoubtedly in absolutely fabulous concrete shoes.

Olga Photoshopova wrote:Even Bill Maher is scared of the Gay Mafia ... and getting reamed ...

And well he might be. Sometimes I wake up the middle of the night and I hear Mr. Sphincter sniffling and crying because he is afraid of being reamed by the Gay Mafia and their Fairy Godfather.

Sometimes the old ways are the best.

Interesting factoid: Barack Obama only recently had his Scarlet T removed.

Hester Prynne, of Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel The Scarlet Letter, was shamed with a red letter A, for adultery. Heterosexual couples should be shamed with a pink and blue letter U, for unnatural, as reparations for stigmatizing the most natural sexual behavior there is, polymorphous perversion. The scientific consenus, and settled science, is that babies are born LGBTQI and would, were it not for capitalistic indoctrination and exploitation, remain in their proper state, gender confused their whole lifetimes, never discriminating with whom or with what they had sex. No more suffocating and oppressing PINK and BLUE. No more, it's a GIRL or BOY. From now on: RAINBOW! It's an IT!

Dedhedvedev wrote: Hester Prynne, of Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel The Scarlet Letter, was shamed with a red letter A, for adultery. Heterosexual couples should be shamed with a pink and blue letter U, for unnatural, as reparations for stigmatizing the most natural sexual behavior there is, polymorphous perversion. The scientific consenus, and settled science, is that babies are born LGBTQI and would, were it not for capitalistic indoctrination and exploitation, remain in their proper state, gender confused, their whole lifetimes, never discriminating with whom or with what they had sex. No more suffocating and oppressing PINK and BLUE. No more, it's a GIRL or BOY. From now on: RAINBOW! It's an IT!