The People's Cube - Political Satire

All ObamaPhones are coming with the following numbers programmed into speed dial. Older phones will be updated by via an over-the-air update. Phones not compatible with remote updating will be replaced. Don't get up, we are sending some Acorn people around to take care of you.

ObamaPhone Speed Dial

1 Food Stamps
2 Free Health Insurance
3 Housing Hotline
4 Planned Abortionhood
5 Report Hurt Feelings / Racism
6 Amnesty And ID
7 You Low Income (Apply for SSI)
8 You Disability (Apply for SSDI)
9 Add Another ObamaPhone

I am sure there are other numbers to add, but we can't expect people to push more than one button for assistance. Suggestions?

The ones that are not taken by bus (and given a free carton of smokes) to vote are voting by "Proxy", if you know what I mean.

Comrade Lyman DeKoquonut, did you forget Selfie?....with or without dear leader...

ObamaPhones have "Streaming Selfies" that are kept in the National Selfie Archive, or NSA as it is sometimes referred to.

Damn. That's a blog post all on it's own. Did I say that out loud?

Your secrets are safe with the Party, comrade. Such an error will not be used to establish guilt, (since all are guilty) only to measure HOW guilty. Keep the weeds out of your beet patch, and perhaps they come for you later, rather than sooner...

Tovarichi wrote:Your secrets are safe with the Party, comrade. Such an error will not be used to establish guilt, (since all are guilty) only to measure HOW guilty. Keep the weeds out of your beet patch, and perhaps they come for you later, rather than sooner...

Dear Leader has no guilt. Is weeds in our beet patch on the interactive guilt quiz?

To avoid adding more buttons, perhaps button #5 might be simply "Report grievances." Then, in addition to hurt feelings and racism, user can report sexism, homophobia, Islamophobia, coprophobia (denial of defecating spaces in public places), and many other outrages, such as injuries incurred while burglarizing houses, where such injuries require not just medical aid but also legal aid for suing homeowner.

RedDiaperette wrote:To avoid adding more buttons, perhaps button #5 might be simply "Report grievances." Then, in addition to hurt feelings and racism, user can report sexism, homophobia, Islamophobia, coprophobia (denial of defecating spaces in public places), and many other outrages, such as injuries incurred while burglarizing houses, where such injuries require not just medical aid but also legal aid for suing homeowner.

Yes...I have seen too many homes with "Keep Out" - "Wells Fargo Alarm" - "No Trespassing" and "Guard Dogs on Duty" signs that are posted in English only. What if you can only read or speak Click?