The People's Cube - Political Satire

Dear Leader Hugo Chavez, MAY PEACE BE UPON HIM, before going into thermal plasma litoral Hero Worship Status, bestowed upon the Bolivarian Republic a munificent monument to Socialist Utopianism, by building a farm with no water sources:

Chavez's Farming Utopia Withers as Pet Projects Abandoned

What is closer than moving to a mansion in hell, than to build a farming commune where the closest water source is 125 miles away?

Where else is it best to send all those Venezuelan opposition leaders and reactionary journalists to discover the joys of socialism than to a communal farm sans H2O? This Bolivarian experiment in communal living beats all Agricultural Communes in reaktionary Israel, given the fact that the Anti-Palestinian Apartheid State is always less than 40 miles from a water source.

For this brave experiment in proletariat utopianism, Hugo deserves the Josef Stalin Platinum Star. The runner up was Dear Leader Barack Hussein Obama, for his OBAMACARE, which hasn't become a reality yet, and which is why Barack only came in second.

As the proud inventor of submarine screen doors (because what good is a 3000 mile underwater mission if you can't get a little fresh air?), I applaud this forward thinking. There's nothing that ruins a farm faster than getting it wet.

Er, we are talking ant farms here, aren't we?

As I recall Comrades, Dear Leader Hugo Chavez won the Cheryl Crow Environment Award for the invention of Mobius Toilet Paper, but I have to admit this is a glorious achievement, a collective farm of make believe. Brilliance. We should have our own policy wonks from the social bunkers of Washington take the boxcar south to this sacred land for further study. Double rations of beets to all!

What a shame. All those nice new alcohol burning combines just waiting to be fueled up with ethanol from the first corn harvest. Hopefully, the loans for these machines were authorized by Dear Leader (from his stash) and can therefore be forgiven with the stroke of a pen. The best of intentions....sad.

Water? That's just a technical problem. The project is advancing!

I'm not impressed. Here in central Texaszistan we haven't had water in years. We are surviving on fermented beet juices and managing just fine, thank you very much.

Visionary Leader Chavez has looked Forward into Dystopian Glorious World of Next Tuesday and prepared for the Promised One named Obama coming out from the wilderness of Chicago as a Community Organiser Saviour. We know that the Utopian Age of Aquarius will be here when all the world is under Obamacare at last and He will make the rains come and the deserts bloom and no one shall be afraid (unless you have reason to be). Do you doubt it, komrads? Where's your faith? Oh, and I think Mucho Hombre Chavez should be awarded the Al Gore Inconvenient Truth Award. PS: I do love those dear little houses Hugo made for the piggies and moo cows and things, don't you?

Komrads,
Mozilla 'voluntarily stepped down' as my browser a few weeks back when they had a meltdown over freedom of speech. I now use Explorer. PU. I cant even get the stupid thing to post with paragraphs and other intellectually inventive typing. Pack of Kapitalist Wonkers.
My apologies. And no doubt this will be one kollektiv of letters as well!!!

Iva Sputnik wrote:Komrads,
Mozilla 'voluntarily stepped down' as my browser a few weeks back when they had a meltdown over freedom of speech. I now use Explorer. PU. I cant even get the stupid thing to post with paragraphs and other intellectually inventive typing. Pack of Kapitalist Wonkers.
My apologies. And no doubt this will be one kollektiv of letters as well!!!

After composing in Nasty 1% Rich Text, try switching into Virtuous 99% Poor Text. You can make paragraphs there, as well as move images around.

Iva Sputnik wrote:Visionary Leader Chavez has looked Forward into Dystopian Glorious World of Next Tuesday and prepared for the Promised One named Obama coming out from the wilderness of Chicago as a Community Organiser Saviour. We know that the Utopian Age of Aquarius will be here when all the world is under Obamacare at last and He will make the rains come and the deserts bloom and no one shall be afraid (unless you have reason to be). Do you doubt it, komrads? Where's your faith? Oh, and I think Mucho Hombre Chavez should be awarded the Al Gore Inconvenient Truth Award. PS: I do love those dear little houses Hugo made for the piggies and moo cows and things, don't you?

I do not wish (Lenin forbid!) to seem to cast aspersions on any of Dear Leader's Signature Accomplishments,™ but perhaps he caused the sea levels to subside a wee bit too much? And perhaps the miraculous wave of his hand also caused rivers and lakes and reservoirs and water tables to subside as well? Or perhaps water tables are merely swooning away in ecstasy of his presence?

RedDiaperette wrote:

Iva Sputnik wrote:Visionary Leader Chavez has looked Forward into Dystopian Glorious World of Next Tuesday and prepared for the Promised One named Obama coming out from the wilderness of Chicago as a Community Organiser Saviour. We know that the Utopian Age of Aquarius will be here when all the world is under Obamacare at last and He will make the rains come and the deserts bloom and no one shall be afraid (unless you have reason to be). Do you doubt it, komrads? Where's your faith? Oh, and I think Mucho Hombre Chavez should be awarded the Al Gore Inconvenient Truth Award. PS: I do love those dear little houses Hugo made for the piggies and moo cows and things, don't you?

I do not wish (Lenin forbid!) to seem to cast aspersions on any of Dear Leader's Signature Accomplishments,™ but perhaps he caused the sea levels to subside a wee bit too much? And perhaps the miraculous wave of his hand also caused rivers and lakes and reservoirs and water tables to subside as well? Or perhaps water tables are merely swooning away in ecstasy of his presence?

Dear Leader's unmatched powers of mind have expanded rapidly since his ascension to the throne presidency. Even HE must learn* to wield these awesome forces as they manifest - each adding exponentially - each magnifying the power of all that came before. Soon, comrades - soon, HE will illuminate the path to Next Tuesday™ for all personkind by HIS mere presence!

* (Not to disparage Dear Leader's powers in any way - which would be impossible)

Captain Craptek wrote:

RedDiaperette wrote:

Iva Sputnik wrote:Visionary Leader Chavez has looked Forward into Dystopian Glorious World of Next Tuesday and prepared for the Promised One named Obama coming out from the wilderness of Chicago as a Community Organiser Saviour. We know that the Utopian Age of Aquarius will be here when all the world is under Obamacare at last and He will make the rains come and the deserts bloom and no one shall be afraid (unless you have reason to be). Do you doubt it, komrads? Where's your faith? Oh, and I think Mucho Hombre Chavez should be awarded the Al Gore Inconvenient Truth Award. PS: I do love those dear little houses Hugo made for the piggies and moo cows and things, don't you?

I do not wish (Lenin forbid!) to seem to cast aspersions on any of Dear Leader's Signature Accomplishments,™ but perhaps he caused the sea levels to subside a wee bit too much? And perhaps the miraculous wave of his hand also caused rivers and lakes and reservoirs and water tables to subside as well? Or perhaps water tables are merely swooning away in ecstasy of his presence?

Dear Leader's unmatched powers of mind have expanded rapidly since his ascension to the throne presidency. Even HE must learn* to wield these awesome forces as they manifest - each adding exponentially - each magnifying the power of all that came before. Soon, comrades - soon, HE will illuminate the path to Next Tuesday™ for all personkind by HIS mere presence!

* (Not to disparage Dear Leader's powers in any way - which would be impossible)

My fuzzy Comrade, your point is valid. however I am troubled by the sexist masculine terms used to describe Dear Leader. Do not "HE" and "HIS" smack of Genderism? And besides, to be honest, there is not anything manly about Dear Leader. Is there?

Oh, comrade...lest ye forget, Dear Leader is HE, SHE, IT and all things among and in between - as HE sees fit to reveal to HIS subjects. HE is currently manifesting HIS male projection. (not literally, of course) Have faith. In time you will come to understand.