The People's Cube - Political Satire

Dearest comrades,

In light of what the Commissar of Gender Equality so eloquently spoke last month, as we boldly continue our unstoppable march toward The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™ we at Unified Information, The Only Reliable Source of Revolutionary Knowledge™, have stumbled across another brilliant example of hashtag activism in the form of #EndFathersDay.

The evidence is clear that "fathers" are not only unnecessary to the idea of the "family" (which itself is a ludicrous, anti-revolutionary idea, except when it isn't), they are counteractive and dangerous. This is despite what the KooKooKluxKlan, extreme-right-wing, racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobic, archaic Neanderthals would tell you.

Obviously, the clear and present solution is to eliminate the idea of the father entirely. Our good friends in the state-controlled media have done a good job of that for many decades now, portraying fathers and all men as the clumsy, oppressing, scumbucket, deadbeat bastards that they are. How dare they even try to start up a conversation with the all-knowing, all-perfect creature that is the modern womyn? Downright sickening!

Of course some of the aforementioned teatard cave-dwellers will say "But Comrade"—and how dare they call us that, those treasonous traitors—"not all men are like that!" If that is indeed true, and we have no reason to believe that it is since 97% of all people we asked on the street family experts said it's true, then it does not matter anyway, since every womyn will face those kinds of threats and unwanted attention many times in her life. Even something as innocent as her skimpy fashionable wardrobe could cause them to act like that.

As we noted earlier, and as you all well know, the whole idea of fathers and mothers anyway is outdated. The State must ultimately step in and become the true father and mother of all its revolutionary children!

So, just as #BringBackOurGirls and #YesAllWomen went viral, let us follow up that tremendous success with this new hashtag!

All men are created evil!
#EndFathersDay!
The State is your true parent!

Fathers are an anachronism. When all junior citizen embryos are created in test tubes like the god (if he existed) meant them to be, then we can replace both Father and Mother's day with TEST TUBE DAY!

I can't wait to start selling Happy Test Tube Day cards to the masses in state run shops!

Mentor Units assigned to educate™ a Child of the Collective™ may requisition (by submitting forms in triplicate with appropriate stamps and counter-stamps) a gender neutral "play catch" device designed to strengthen the arms of the Children of the Collective™ for future work in the fields. This will relieve the Mentor Units of direct oversight of the Child of the Collective™ during times the Mentor Unit is working and/or attending education™ education™ (assuming the proper forms have been submitted in triplicate with appropriate stamps and counter-stamps).

Wonderful work, Comrade UI!

There are only two books that anyone ever needs – or should be allowed – to read: Audacity of Hope and Dreams of My Father by Dear Leader Obama. Dear Leader Obama does not say our fathers! He is clear it is only about his father!

How dare we mere mortals think that any of our so-called "fathers" could ever come close to the one true father from whose loins sprang Dear Leader Obama in the same manner of a god springing forth from Zeus' head?! Such blasphemy angers, saddens and hurts Dear Leader Obama. Thus the concept of "father" is racist.

One only needs a Motherland, Mother Gaia or Mother of All Battles to quote Komrade Saddam (R.I.P.)

Besides does anyone seriously think Pajama Boy was raised by a father?!

Commissar of Gender Equality wrote:Wonderful work, Comrade UI!

Much appreciated, Comrade! And thank you for providing such needed inspiration for such an important cause!

99% of all males give the rest a bad name.

Red Square wrote:99% of all males give the rest a bad name.

The other 1% are waiting in line for their government-funded sex change operation.

MSNBC's Senior Stalinist Corespondent, Medusa Hairy-Paris, has previously explained the advantages of a youth workforce korrectly konditioned by State Authorities. As an essential element of production and consumption in the future world of Next Tuesday™, all new units must be conceived, nurtured, and indoctrinated in and by Party approved Worker Production Centers. Adult units formerly know as parents must get over the outmoded notion of family and tend to their assigned duties.

Red Square wrote:99% of all males give the rest a bad name.

1% of males give the rest a bad name. the 99% is the good half.
Remember?

Despite such believably earnest assurances to the contrary, I have a nagging suspicion that Father's Day will be replaced by Children's Day:



--KOOK

Red Square wrote:99% of all males give the rest a bad name.

Not to be confused, of course, with the 99% that associate and/or sympathize with Occupy Wall Street. Such a misconception is extremely dangerous.