The People's Cube - Political Satire

Austin, TX April 21, 2013: It all began quite innocently according to Texas District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg. Speculating that a political enemy must have slipped something into her drink at a movie seemed as good an excuse as any, and her prime suspect was none other than Texas Governor Rick Perry.

“I had a glass of wine, or was it vodka? What difference does it make now? Anyway, the cop was rude and made me try to walk down the white line - right there in front of everybody! I was very tired from a hard day at the office and told him to go *^&% himself. Big deal.”

Video taken during the booking at headquarters shows Ms. Lehmberg emphatically denying she was drunk and insisting her blood-alcohol level was not nearly three times the legal limit.

"I don't care who you are but take these *$# damn handcuffs off me. Now! I mean like now! I am not drunk. I am not a criminal. I'm the *&$ damn district attorney! You better do something quick because I'm getting pissed off."

Fallout from the incident has now made the national news: A grand jury indicted Texas Gov. Rick Perry on Friday for abusing the powers of his office by carrying out a threat to veto funding for state prosecutors investigating public corruption -- making the possible 2016 presidential hopeful his state's first indicted governor in nearly a century.

A special prosecutor spent months calling witnesses and presenting evidence that Perry broke the law when he promised publicly to nix $7.5 million over two years for the public integrity unit, which is run by Travis County District Rosemary Lehmberg's office.

Texans for Public Justice, a government watchdog group, filed an ethics complaint accusing the governor of coercion since he threatened to use his veto before actually doing so in an attempt to pressure Lehmberg to quit. Perry eventually carried out his veto threat. No one disputes that he is allowed to veto measures approved by the Legislature, including part or all of the state budget.

"Governor Perry is guilty of coercion! The very idea of carrying out his threat to cut off funding for the public corruption office by using his legal veto authority is unprecedented!"complained a spokesman for Texans for Public Justice. "If public officials start following through on stuff they promise to do,...well,...who knows where it might lead!

And the word/phrase for such abuses of governmental authority?

Another Friday in Austin...

Hey, watch where you point that "gun," lady!

In the glorious days in the Old Country they could indict a ham sandwich, if they had any ham.

Comrade jello brains, here in Texazistan Judges are licenced to carry for their own protection...Have you threatened the good Judge, sir?

Confess early, and often...

You do not mess around with the Judges.

I am so proud of Texas' display of progressiveness. They are getting behind this fine progressive DA (whom any prog parent wants their daughter to emulate) and helping defend her against evil Perry's war on womyn. Better yet, the Travis County DA is Jeff Gilloolly, who is a champion of guaranteeing equality of results. Many may recall when he and his friend made sure Nancy Kerrigan was equal to his then wife, Tonya Harding, and took a crow bar to Nancy's knee. He is obviously using a similar strategy with Perry. Texas was so smart to get these two into offices where they can implement progressive strategy.

She has a case if she was in the correct lane.

But this is Glorious News! ™ If Rethuglikkan candidates can be indicted before their elections, then their reputations will be ruined. This holds great promise comrades. How Progressive it is to start a smear fact finding campaign and have the criminals government get these political opponents criminals into court before the next election cycle.

Always under observation,
T.C.

T.C. #7980907 wrote:But this is Glorious News! ™ If Rethuglikkan candidates can be indicted before their elections, then their reputations will be ruined. This holds great promise comrades. How Progressive it is to start a smear fact finding campaign and have the criminals government get these political opponents criminals into court before the next election cycle.

Always under observation,
T.C.

Comrade,

The smear campaign for the 2020 election cycle has already begun. Personally, I can hardly wait to learn which Teabag Neanderthal our MSLSD team selects to destroy first! It's one of life's great pleasures - inflicting damage. Ah..., the squirming, the complaining and whining, the denial...it's just,...just...so wonderfully satisfying! <sniff> Political destruction and mayhem is surely why we were born. Is it not? I'm certain you'll agree...

"In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."

Looks like Comrade Perry is about to be sent to re-education camp for committing a revolutionary act!

Soviet Mike Komsomolets wrote:She has a case if she was in the correct lane.

She had to change lanes due to being drunken blind. You forgot the stupid lane which merges out before this.

Captain Craptek wrote:

T.C. #7980907 wrote:But this is Glorious News! ™ If Rethuglikkan candidates can be indicted before their elections, then their reputations will be ruined. This holds great promise comrades. How Progressive it is to start a smear fact finding campaign and have the criminals government get these political opponents criminals into court before the next election cycle.

Always under observation,
T.C.

Comrade,

The smear campaign for the 2020 election cycle has already begun. Personally, I can barely wait to learn which Teabag Neanderthal our MSLSD team selects to destroy first! It's one of life's greatest pleasures - inflicting damage. Ah..., the squirming, the complaining and whining, the denial...it's just,...just...so wonderfully satisfying! <sniff> Political destruction and mayhem is surely why we were born. Is it not? I'm certain you'll agree...

Wonderful, Comrade! I did not realize that the party planned that far in advance. Makes a prog proud! I noticed also that comrade Lehmberg was not bothered by any of that nonsense about gun violence as she pointed her finger 'gun' at the camera. Imagine the smear we could inflict on a rethuglikkkan if one did that.
Always under observation
T.C. #_0907

There is a long tradition of imbibing in Democratic circles. From Ted Kennedy to Hillary Clinton - why is Perry stirring up so much trouble?

Evil Smiley wrote:There is a long tradition of imbibing in Democratic circles. From Ted Kennedy to Hillary Clinton - why is Perry stirring up so much trouble?

That Hillary! What a cutup! Her and John Belushi - anything for a laugh.

Now I understand why Hillary and Obama are going to "hug it out" in their next "meeting."

That's all I need to hear to know everything is kumbaya in our world. Sigh!

He has to hug her to keep her upright.

I think you are all missing an important detail about our dear DA. She was discovered with an open bottle of The People's™ substitute for water......vodka! This makes the whole case against her clearly trumped up. Everybody knows that when one drinks vodka, nobody can tell that you're drunk because there's no odor. This clearly makes a case for a charge of sexism against the police officers who refused to believe the clear protestations of innocence emanating from our dear DA, from whom they could garner no evidence of intoxication due to the fact that she was drinking the odorless vodka. The officer who claimed he could detect the smell of alcohol on the breath of our dear DA was obviously lying. Case closed. Let the show trial begin!!!!!