The People's Cube - Political Satire

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Comrades! I am so confused now.

New Black Panther Leader Hashim Nzinga: 'Like It or Not Obama is from Kenya'

Someone please help me. Dear Leader has released his fakebirth certificate showing absolute proof that he was born in Hawaii in 1961 and his race was listed as African. Although that race indicator was not the normal word used at the time, the birth of one as glorious as Dear Leader would have caused those making up (literally) the birth certificate to automatically add a term used around the time that he would ascend to the presidency thereby freeing us from the vile clutches of George W. Bush <spit>. The only ones who ever did make a case of this were those racist™ bitter clinger™ teabaggers. Even after Dear Leader released his glorious birth certificate and we all saw the radiance from the document announcing the birth of one as great as Dear Leader, the teabaggers continued to bitterly cling to their claim that Dear Leader was really born in Kenya.

But now, someone else is saying Dear Leader is from Kenya. It is one of OUR "extended family" so to speak, the leader of the New Black Panthers. So confusing. Naturally we should believe Dear Leader, but how do we square this with the statements of one of our fellow extremists supporters of social justice? Comrades, this is just very difficult. And he complained about Dear Leader too. Is this leader of the New Black Panthers hatin' on Dear Leader like all those rethugliKKKans and teabaggers do every moment of their lives?

It would be racist™ and hatin' on™ an oppressed™ group of people to disagree with the New Black Panthers. But to agree with them we are sayin' Dear Leader is wrong and thus hatin' on him™. But they can't both be right? Or, since rightwing is wrong, they can't both be left? Or can they?

Wait, maybe the guy from the New Black Panthers meant Dear Leader is from Kenya because he visited Kenya? But that would mean Dear Leader is from China, Russia, the United States, India, Ireland, Great Britain, Ghana, Australia, France, South Africa (where that impromptu funeral interrupted his selfie event!), Egypt, and every other country he ever visited at our expense. In short, Dear Leader is everything to everyone. Yeah, maybe that's it.

Comrade Vlad,

Word games, comrade. Word games. A little reverse logic, some new-think, a dash of misdirection and a touch of insanity. There...that should do it.

The New Black Panther Party - The Neo Black Panther Party - The Neo Panther of Color Party - The Neo Melanistic Jaguar of Color Party - The Party of The Neo Melanistic Jaguar -
The Party of The Neo Cat - The Party of The New Cat - The Party of The Cool Cat -
The Party of The Cat - The Party Cat - The Party™ - It always comes down to The Party. What's left is right.

Comrades, comrades! Do I understand you to be suggesting that there is such a thing as <shudder><gasp> objective truth? Surely you do not wish to be denounced for adherence to phallologocentrism!

Besides, we all know that the Party alone can establish (and change as required) the Current Truth™ of any given moment.

In The Party ™ , we trust only, but most of all our Dear Leader is The Party ™.

RedDiaperette wrote:Comrades, comrades! Do I understand you to be suggesting that there is such a thing as <shudder><gasp> objective truth? Surely you do not wish to be denounced for adherence to phallologocentrism!

Besides, we all know that the Party alone can establish (and change as required) the Current Truth™ of any given moment.

Comrade RedD,

I've noticed that advancing age portends an unmistakable reduction in phallologocentric events. I found this troubling at first. Only recently have I come to accept the healing, anti-phallologocentric philosophy of indeterminateness. And Viagra helps, too.

For God's sake. Stop the Killing. What's His Name?

I thought lynching was illegal?

Captain Craptek wrote:I thought lynching was illegal?

Only if Dear Leader declares it so.

Easy enough: on the days Dear Leader or one of his cronies our comrades says he's from Kenya, then he's by damn from Kenya. (On that day and that day only. We will slavishly forget on that day that His Oneness ever said he was an Amerikkkan.) On the days Dear Leader or one of his thugs our comrades says he's from Amerikkka, then he's by damn from Amerikkka. (Unless he's suddenly from Kenya.)

John Lenin wrote:

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Easy enough: on the days Dear Leader or one of his cronies our comrades says he's from Kenya, then he's by damn from Kenya. (On that day and that day only. We will slavishly forget on that day that His Oneness ever said he was an Amerikkkan.) On the days Dear Leader or one of his thugs our comrades says he's from Amerikkka, then he's by damn from Amerikkka. (Unless he's suddenly from Kenya.)

Dear Leader goes what he feels like at the moment. Kenyan one second, American the next, and Chinese fourth. All is true and anyone who opposes it is a capitalist.

Maybe Kenya is one of the 57 states?

Komrade Katz wrote:Maybe Kenya is one of the 57 states?

You are correct Komrade Katz. Here is a cookie beet.