The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, I do not know if you have heard the news yet, but this Commissar's head is spinning! Either we are in need of a show trial, or I need someone more steeped in advanced Party doctrine studies to help me to understand what is happening.

This is but a smattering of a 30 minute diatribe slandering the peaceful President of Iran:

In his scathing introduction to the much-anticipated on-campus event, Bollinger told the leader of Iran that he exhibits "all the signs of a brutal dictator."

Bollinger levied repeated criticisms against Ahmadinejad, calling on him to answer a series of challenges about his leadership, blasting his views about the "myth" of the Holocaust "absurd" and saying that he doubted he "will have the intellectual courage to answer these questions."

"Mr. President, you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator," Bollinger said, to loud applause.

He said Ahmadinejad's denial of the Holocaust might fool the illiterate and ignorant.

"When you come to a place like this it makes you simply ridiculous," Bollinger said. "The truth is that the Holocaust is the most documented event in human history."

"You are either brazenly provocative or astonishingly uneducated," Bollinger told Ahmadinejad about the leader's Holocaust denial. "Will you cease this outrage?"

The full text is not available yet, but among other things, he attacked our honored guest for his treatment of women, of defying the world on nuclear weapons, even going so far as to note that students of Columbia are serving in Iraq and being killed by weapons supplied by the peaceful republic of Iran!

Then I know of at least one questioner that was allowed to ask why the president of Iran is murdering gays!

Now to be on the fair side, Abujihadismyholynamebubba gave a most unprogressive answer saying: " In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country. We don't have that like in your country. ... In Iran we do not have this phenomenon. I don't know who's told you that we have this."

Now I don't wish to sound like I am competing, Lenin forbid, but I have tried to calm some of the comrades exuberance about the president of Iran.

All I know is that I am still shocked at the outrageous behavior of a man I thought would show true progressive progressivism to this peaceful man from Iran, and instead we were given a half hour of lies and slanders as if they were written by the Bushitler himself!

All I know is I feel betrayed! I am sorry, I just have to go calm myself with perhaps some of the Chairmans vodka, maybe shoot a few proles, something to ease my restless mind!

Oh...my... I didn't know you were on top of this, Commissar Pupovich. I...uhhh... what is the timestamp? Oh, 3:47... hmm... Well, it appears that I was a bit late with my scathing denunciation of soon-to-be-deposed-President Bollinger. I am sorry, Commissar Pupovich. I'm sorry I ever doubted your zeal in trying this criminal.

Your quick denunciation of this criminal will not go unrewarded... please help yourself to my private punch bowl... OK, not too much now... just a small cup full. There you go, yes, about that much is fine. You have to realize that access to my punch bowl is an honor and that one cannot help themself to it too much... it is, after all, very expensive.

Chairman, I am must humbled by your kind words and invitation for but a taste from your private punch bowl. Frankly, after the troubling performance we saw and heard today, I dare say we all need a drink. I was glad to see what you had to say about it for I wondered if there was some nuance of party doctrine that I was unable to discern that could account for that criminal's performance today.

BTW, when I heard this news as it was breaking, I tuned to listen to the Bushitler lap dog Rush Limbaugh expecting to hear him giving the criminal Bolinger his lines. Instead I discovered that even Limbaugh was shocked as well, for he expected the criminal to treat the peace loving president of Iran in the manner we expected as well! If that gives you some idea of the sheer depraved nature of the crime we witnessed today. Now it is always possible that Limbaugh was speaking in code.... I am just reporting what I heard.

Believe me comrade Pupovich, I was astounded as well when I found out. I have only been able to post now because of the chaos that ensued. Here is a tape from earlier:

<Alarm sounds>

Comrades! THIS IS A PRIORITY ONE ALERT!! FREE-THINKING RADICALS HAVE INFLATRADED OUR UNIVERITIES!!

<comrades all running around frantically, packing Che T-shirts into boxes>

GET THOSE CHE T-SHIRTS TO THE CAMPUS RIGHT AWAY! WHERE ARE OUR PROGRSSICE STUDENTS AT THAT SCHOOL?

<comrade walks up>

Sir! What are we gonna do!!

Contact the Chairman and Her Majesty Right now!! Get the Chairman to do what he does best!! The firing squad!!! Shoot that free-thinking radical that humiliated our ally! Why aren't you gone?! You! Shot him!

<comrade 2 shoots comrade 1>
Now! Do all I said to him and also get Pelosi! We need her to kiss up to the humiliated leader! What? Comrade! Shoot him for not already being gone!

<comrade 3 shoots comrade 2>

Now!

<comrade> - I KNOW! <runs off>

OK PEOPLE! ON STAT! GET THOSE ANTI-AMERICA SIGNS SHIPPED OFF! WHERE ARE OUR SCHOOL STUDENTS!

<tape ends>

I am still rushing around filling out priority one paper work. I know that this is usually not my department, but this is no minor thing, not only is the pro-Islam, anti-American ally been brought to shame, but it was done by someone that was trusted! Ah! How I never have any patience when I am stressed!!

<character off>

I still cannot belive it though. They gave him what he deserved. I have no idea where that came from, and why a Univeristy president would do that, but alright! That is the stuff I am talking about! Bet Mr-wipe-Israel-off-the-map, realy! Realy! hates us now! <laughing>

Wow. You'd think that he'd be more tolerant of Amadumbass, I mean, Amadinansdkfjsl, however you spell his name's opinions. After all, Aren't we always being told to accept people's views even if they are wrong?

RedtheProgressiveFox wrote:Believe me comrade Pupovich, I was astounded as well when I found out. I have only been able to post now because of the chaos that ensued....
I am still rushing around filling out priority one paper work. I know that this is usually not my department, but this is no minor thing, not only is the pro-Islam, anti-American ally been brought to shame, but it was done by someone that was trusted! Ah! How I never have any patience when I am stressed!!

That was a fine job you did Comrade Fox. Yes, I know you had to break some policy and work, but when you have an emergency like that, one has to act and act fast. In a crisis, we are asked to sometimes do things that are normally not our department, and yesterday was by all definition a crisis.

As I mentioned, even that scum bag Limbaugh was taken by surprise. Earlier he was bragging as usual how the criminal B would ask "the tough questions" like we expected such as "Esteemed President Abominalblejihadbob, what do you intend to say at the UN about the immoral and illegal actions taken by the mass murderer Bush in Iraq and the middle east?" Then afterwards the criminal B would get together with other good thinking progressives to congratulate each other for the tough questions they asked. I tell you, even the obese one Limbaugh was shocked by criminal B's unthinkable actions. Even those students should be shown what a real Virginia Tech is like! Some of those signs and the shouts I heard were sheer treason!

My Lenin! I am still so upset I can hardly drink my coffee this morning.

Commissar, it is painfully obvious or socialistic pseudo communistic professors are being compromised by Bushitler certainly slowing down our fast pased academic take over. I do believe we need to bring in the big guns of Nancy Pignoseli and perhaps the Hairyballs Reid quickly to denounce the hairy nosed Bolinger.

We need a more enthusastic party organizer on this Campus since Bolinger has
obviously betrayed us!

Just remember Lenin "Democracy is indispensable to socialism".

Patience Commissar, a minor set back, were getting there.

Egads! You said criminal B's name as if he existed still! No need for denouncement or purge in his case. Criminal B's crime, if such a vile creature had ever existed, speaks for itself.