The People's Cube - Political Satire

Taking the lead from Susan Rice, and at the orders of the White House, NFL football player Ray Rice is now attempting to deflect responsibility for the attack by blaming it on a video posted on the TMZ website.

Appearing on the Sunday shows, Rice has stated that it was, in fact, the TMZ video that had sparked outcries of abuse, incompetence, and coverup.

Within hours, Attorney General Holder called for the immediate arrest of TMZ editor Harvey Levin, who aired the video, and who is now being charged with the crime of reporting the news. DOJ officials are confident that Mr. Levin will be purged and never heard of again.

When asked by newly anointed Meet the Press front man, Chuck Todd, as to why he is blaming a video for the attack and the coverup, Mr. Rice stated:

"Well, Chuck. You see? Why not blame the video? Clearly the video is the cause of all the controversy. If Secretary Clinton and President Obama can walk away by blaming a video, well... myself and Commissioner Goodell can do so as well. We fully expect this story to be reported as a phony scandal by the media at which time this story will be buried and never heard of again, and I and Mr. Goodell can go about our business and refuse any further inquiries into the matter."

Screenshot from the video in question...
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Upon being questioned, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell responded with a shriek: "Was it because of an argument or was it because of a guy and his girlfriend out for a walk one night and decided they'd go into an elevator - what difference – at this point, what difference does it make?"

It's obvious, from the video, that this was a peaceful argument that just got out of hand. It's, clearly, a phony scandal.

Jeez! What's all the hubbub, bub? She charged Ray and he decked her with a chopping inside left hook...so? What was he supposed to do - stand there and be brutalized? I mean,...like,...I didn't see a penalty flag or anything. Let's move on!

If they review the tape, who gets charged for the time-out?

Where is Don King when you need him? He was instrumental in resurrecting Mike Tyson's career. What about the Revs Sharpton and Jackson? This is a tailor made oppressed minority civil rights issue.

Tovarichi wrote:If they review the tape, who gets charged for the time-out?

That thing the ref's looking into...it's not what it appears to be, is it?

Comrade Craptek, I think your insight may be exemplary. That certainly appears to be a Saddam Hussein Signature Mobile Infraction Correctionator™. I assume the official is inspecting it to make sure it's functioning as designed.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Comrade Craptek, I think your insight may be exemplary. That certainly appears to be a Saddam Hussein Signature Mobile Infraction Correctionator™. I assume the official is inspecting it to make sure it's functioning as designed.

Yes. A wise choice by the officials. Eliminate offenders before they offend again. Who needs instant replay? With this device in use there won't be plays to replay anyway. (catchy phrase that)