The People's Cube - Political Satire

Russia to bolster military presence in former Soviet states

As Obama continues the downsizing of U.S. forces, Vladimir Putin is accepting the responsibility for defending the Western Hemisphere from misguided capitalism and lack of sound policies.

Putin (riding his success in Crimea and Ukraine like Obama rides Malia's bike) is extending Russian aerial services that were previously limited to Eastern Bloc countries to fill the void left by the withdrawing United States.

Negotiations with Vietnam, Cuba, Venezuela and Nicaragua to establish bases for Russian strategic bombers are ongoing.

“By 2020... 47 airfields, including in Crimea and the Arctic, will be renovated under the state armaments programme.”

Forward basing strategic bombers eliminates the need for trans-oceanic flights and inflight refueling, saving time and precious carbon credits, allowing delivery of critical payloads like high explosives or nuclear rice or perhaps beets where they are needed in less time.

Comrade T,

This map is confusing my tiny brain cells. Should I move north to Maine so I'm out of bomber range, or south toward Florida and get ready to harvest free beets from the sky?

Comrades Crap and Tovi,

How's about moving to Indianapolis, the Crossroads of the USA? We've got things covered here, like Ebola, HN1, snow removal, common sense, the universal understanding that mid-westerners are inherently stupid, gun-loving freaks (which we use as a disguise), unemployment. No enemy is interested in our city. They just don't care. They think we are insignificant. Do you need any other reason to move here?

Why would you need strategic bombers if you don't have a strategy?