10/19/2014, 3:30 pm
President Barack Obama appeared at another press conference on Friday to reassure the nation that the threat of an Ebola outbreak is very low.
"What? Ebola? Did you say Ebola?," the President bellowed in response to questions about the government's ability to contain the disease. "Nothing is Ebola until we decide it is! Was it Ebola when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
The President then announced the appointment of his fraternity buddy Ron "Flounder" Klain to be the nation's Ebola Czar:
Klain accepted the position by saying "Oh boy, is this great!" and immediately asked for 10,000 marbles to fight Ebola.
"What? Ebola? Did you say Ebola?," the President bellowed in response to questions about the government's ability to contain the disease. "Nothing is Ebola until we decide it is! Was it Ebola when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
The President then announced the appointment of his fraternity buddy Ron "Flounder" Klain to be the nation's Ebola Czar:
Klain accepted the position by saying "Oh boy, is this great!" and immediately asked for 10,000 marbles to fight Ebola.


