The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, science is a wonderful (political) tool and now we have scientific evidence that The Party™ has been absolutely correct about its constituents, all along.

Of the 90 participants in the study, 40 tested positive for the algae virus. Those who tested positive performed worse on tests designed to measure the speed and accuracy of visual processing. They also achieved lower scores in tasks designed to measure attention.

Close to 50% covers the average expected vote, every election cycle. The rest would, obviously be party members and the posthumous voters.

Now, if we can just encourage more people to get vaccinations.......

There are other reasons Comrade.

Love makes you stupid.

Dear Leader showed how successful a campaign can be when the two are combined, comrade.

The intelligence of any group goes down in direct proportion to the numbers.
The larger the group,mob. committee, the less intelligence it shows.

Scientists have also discovered the medical cause of radical feminism.

Stupidity, love, shark brains and automatic voting machines! What a combination, comrades! It's a wonder we ever lose elections.

Comrade Red Square, that banner picture looks like it might be the hammer and sickle cell virus......

General Confusion wrote:The intelligence of any group goes down in direct proportion to the numbers.
The larger the group,mob. committee, the less intelligence it shows.

I wonder if this is why Dear Leader misses so many intelligence briefings.

Y'know, Red, both of those look better from the outside.

Microscopic analysis of the Algae Virus reveals its pernicious effects on human brains. If you have a high-speed connection, click the image below to view the microscope-video:



If you have a medium-speed connection, click here to view a smaller version.

If you have a low-speed connection, click here to view a smaller version.

--KOOK

It looks strangely like a squirrel to me.

Look at the head and the shifty beady little eyeballs...

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:It looks strangely like a squirrel to me.

Look at the head and the shifty beady little eyeballs...

Comrade T I whatever,

You're letting the beet juice go to your head - I see no resemblance - none!

Red Square wrote:
Scientists have also discovered the medical cause of radical feminism

:



Comrade Red Square,

For the good of the cause, I must chastise you on your display of the Sharia Compliant medical diagram of female sexual anatomy (no clitoris). This has required me to do extensive research, but in the higher service of Sharia, no duty is too burdensome.

If I may emulate the Progressive wisdom of Jonathan Gruber regarding the progressive need for deception of "stupid Americans" in order for ObamaCare to have been enacted in the wee-hours of the morning back in late December, 2010, the Current Truth that Progressivism's need for an alliance* of convenience with Sharia as a form of international support for Progressivism's Doctrine that America (not Islamic fundamentalism, not Russian expansionism, and certainly not Chinese imperialism) is the primary cause of problems for the Global Community has mandated Progressive Tolerance of Sharia.

BUT (to paraphrase and adapt Gruber's wisdom) Progressives must continue deceiving the under-40 Americans (who deem themselves sexually liberated) into remaining ignorant that Sharia comprises a Holy War against Western Women while Progressives (a) seek to continue the meme that Republicans and Tea-Partiers want to wage "War on Women" and (b) simultaneously maintain Progressive tolerance for Sharia and thereby secretly tolerate a War on the Clitoris.

Regarding the War on the Clitoris, just ask the pro-Western heretic, Ayaan Hirsi Ali about Sharia's War on the Clitoris.

Therefore, you should promptly rectify this error by revising the medical diagram to include a clitoris.

Otherwise, millions of young, low-information voters might actually discover that Progressive tolerance for (and, thus, Progressive alliance with) anti-Western Sharia is the equivalent of a covert Progressive War on the Clitoris. And since science has now proven that the clitoris is essential for female orgasm (which is why Sharia requires clitorectomies of females at birth), Millennial women (other than METUGRICUNAs) might learn this and choose to reject Progressivism for its tolerance of Sharia's War on their Clitorises.

Indeed, we probably need to create a new, special thread designed to mislead millennial women by temporarily promoting (as Current Truth) the naked assertion that Sharia protects the Clitoris -- why else would so many young women be so eager to travel to Iraq and/or Syria to provide "comfort" to the strong jihadist males waging war against Progressivism's enemy (Western Liberalism a.k.a. American Exceptionalism)?

To reinforce this deception, we can stress at every opportunity that the Burqa is in fact pro-feminist because it enables Sharia Compliant Women to enjoy self-stimulation without being seen -- i.e., such Sharia-friendly garments should be viewed by American women as attire that affords them the privacy they need to exercise their right to pursue happiness.

Soon, sexually enlightened females will be flocking to The Peoples Cube to learn how Progressively-Tolerated Sharia enhances their opportunities for orgasmic experiences.

Thus, I will issue this Fatwa:

Since the enemy (American Progressivism) of our enemy (American Exceptionalism a.k.a. Western Liberalism) is our friend, it is acceptable for Islamic Fundamentalists to mislead millennials into believing that Sharia is "pro-clitoris" in order to prevent millennial females from abandoning American Progressives and instead supporting our biggest enemy (American Exceptionalism a.k.a. Republicanism a.k.a. Tea-Party-ism). Therefore, my fatwa authorizes all Shariaists and Sharia-Tolerant Progressives to create agit-prop designed to further this necessary (but, of course, temporary) deception as Current Truth as though Sharia were to be pro-clitoris and pro-female-orgasms.

What should we adopt as the iconic symbol of this Current Truth to deceive LIV's that Sharia is Pro-Clitoris?



To further the deception, we probably should add (beneath the icon) the phrase, "Sharia is Just Another Word for Clitoral Orgasms."

So, my question to Red Square is this: Don't we need a new thread featuring some feminine-fashion agit-prop designed to assure young mellennial females not afflicted with METUGRICUNA that Sharia is Pro-Clitoris and Pro-Orgasms and is the very opposite of the dreaded "Republican/Tea-Party War on Women"?

--Kommisar of Fatwas

Hmmmm. I'm not sure what that has to do with the "stupid" virus, other than, indirectly, being a shining example of what occurs when one is infected............