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1/15/2015, 11:39 pm
Will Beria
[img]/images/Flag_Washington_Star.jpg[/img]

The Committee for Symbol Security has released its tentative redesign of the American flag to include the previously unrepresented District of Columbia, which is not part of any of the 50 states. This omission is now rectified by giving Washington, DC, it's rightful place - a super star with the 50 states nestled safely between its legs.

The committee initially proposed the D.C. star be on the far left, before realizing when seen from the reverse side it would be on the far right. To solve that problem the idea of a one-sided flag was entertained until it was pointed out, while a one-sided media is possible, a one-sided flag was a physical impossibility. While the D.C. star placement issue seems settled, some committee members have not given up and have appealed to President Obama to issue an executive order that the wind must always blow from the left.

The White House responded that the red and white stripes should be dropped because, "It's the twenty-first century, nobody cares what the original intent of the flag's designers was." The committee announced it will form a special task force to study the suggestion.


1/16/2015, 12:52 am
El Presidente
I believe the new flag has already been designed.

ISIS FLAG-ISIS PROPAGANDA VIDEO_0.jpg


1/16/2015, 6:38 am
Ivan the Stakhanovets
Needs 57 stars, no?


1/16/2015, 8:10 am
trashmouth
Comrade Will Beria, why not just have one big star.....and yes, do away with those dumb stripes and create a black background to placate the grievances of the religion of peace.

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1/16/2015, 8:55 am
Soviet Mike Komsomolets
Comrade trashmouth. Your unretouched photo is of an earlier date. The current flag is depicted in this shot...

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1/16/2015, 5:23 pm
trashmouth
Comrade Soviet Mike Komsomolets, should that phrase be written in Arabic, perhaps on the fly end of the flag, and the star centered. This would reflect foreign policy as well as national policy....a "two fer".....


1/16/2015, 9:41 pm
Soviet Mike Komsomolets
With all respect Comrade trashmouth "...it just doesn't matter"™




1/17/2015, 9:32 am
Ivan the Stakhanovets
Does Arabic translate easily to spanish, or do we have to go through a neutral third language?


1/17/2015, 11:10 am
trashmouth
Interesting comment Comrade Ivan the Stakhanovets, perhaps an ancient Aztec symbol added to the design would suffice.....but since you brought up this subject....I wonder if political correctness would make the call to prayer go through a neutral third language in this country as well....


1/17/2015, 12:17 pm
Soviet Mike Komsomolets
Check your white privilege Comrades... what about Jive?

"They crack in 'dem pie."

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1/17/2015, 1:17 pm
Red Square
Speaking of redesigning and translating flags, it's time to do something about the ISIS flag. Here are two versions - depending on where your allegiances lie.

For progressives: (No war for Oil of Olay!)

[img]/images/ISIS_Flag_Mad_Real_Oil.jpg[/img]

For conservatives:

[img]/images/ISIS_Flag_Mad_Real.jpg[/img]

Here are the originals:

[img]/images/ISIS_Flag_Mad_Oil.png[/img]

[img]/images/ISIS_Flag_Mad.png[/img]


1/17/2015, 6:57 pm
trashmouth
or this...



1/17/2015, 7:12 pm
Ivan S Strykervich
Comrades, I vas tinkink do de revised flag looks like de smaller stars are poised to give de bigger star a nice punch in de nads...


1/17/2015, 9:33 pm
Ivan the Stakhanovets
Tovarichi was often confused with Comrade Tovarich, another Ivan will drive the squirrels buggy...


1/17/2015, 10:08 pm
Dr. Chicago
Dear Comrade trashmouth,

you spelled Yerbouti incorrectly...



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I remain,
Dr. Chicago


1/18/2015, 10:31 am
Dedhedvedev
Will Beria wrote:This omission is now rectified by giving Washington, DC, it's rightful place - a super star with the 50 states nestled safely between its legs.
DucklingsSWNS_468x327.jpg


1/18/2015, 12:07 pm
Bluewailer
Let's get rid of the red stripes and ALL those confusing stars and color. We should have a flag that will not offend anyone especially the extremist groups that shall remain unnamed.
Flag_Washington_Star.jpg


1/18/2015, 11:55 pm
Armenian Radio.
It's about time that Isis is included the fold of the one and only shovel ready site on the web.
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1/19/2015, 7:29 pm
Lev Termen
I vote for the J.C. Penney flag. White with a brown stripe. (By the way, there are only 32 to 36 states.)

Link in case anybody hasn't heard the associated joke.