The People's Cube - Political Satire

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Comrades, it is a Great Day in the Kollective! Why I feel that Next Tuesday ™ is already here!

Allow me to explain --

In one of my first posts here on the Kollective, I explained my chosen name. Allow me to repeat myself repeat myself, for the purpose of clarification.

My birth name was Michael Mann, a tragic accident of my Kapitalist American [spit, spit] parents having a ridiculously dull surname. But in our State Religion, when one is ordained one is allowed to change his/her/its name to a deceased Saint of The Faith.

Well, I was unable to take on the name of Pope Al Gorski the First, as he is still alive (praise be unto him). So, upon my ordination appointment to the State Science Institute, I instead took on the name of one of the greatest Saints of the People's Science: Trofim Lysenko.

For those unfamiliar with the history of our Motherland, Comrade Lysenko practiced exactly the same kind of Science that I do: free, rational inquiry is strictly forbidden and only those ideas approved by the State are permitted. Comrade Lysenko sent many "scientists" to the Gulag during his tenure; and even some to their death.

I have always aspired to be just like him. So far, all I've been able to accomplish is a SLAPP lawsuit harassing the notorious Capitalist Pig Mark Steyn, who is paid by the [spit, spit] Big Oil Companies, but in today's State-controlled Press comes this encouraging bit of news:

GREENPEACE ACTIVIST CALLS FOR CLIMATE CHANGE ‘DENIERS' TO BE BEHEADED

At last! Finally, I can ascend to the highest level of Science and take a place next to Comrade Lysenko himself! I have always had a burning desire to behead a Denier.

Just don't make it a public spectacle. The People™ tend to be a little squeamish about that sort of thing and may get offended. The Party™ doesn't need that kind of bad PR.

There is no hierarchy in the People's Cube, but you can be more equal then others.

Yes, Comrade Hammer, there's no reason to hesitate, as Hamlet did, wondering whether to be(head) or not to be(head). You can get out a head of the pack -- go to the head of the class, so to speak!

Da, Comrade, it is time for Teabagger heads to roll.

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Yes, Comrade Hammer, there's no reason to hesitate, as Hamlet did, wondering whether to be(head) or not to be(head). You can get out a head of the pack -- go to the head of the class, so to speak!

Da, Comrade, it is time for Teabagger heads to roll.

As we say to the Teabaggers, No Pressure. (Warning video has graphics that are not for light stomachs)

Comrade Lysenkomann! Well Done! As the self-appointed Grand Inquisitor for the First Reformed Church of Latter-Day Climatology (The Goremons), I have had beheaded many many more "global warming deniers" than these little Greenpeace pikers! And they best not get in my way! I have plans in the works to deal with these evil Rethuglikans once and for all! If they interfere with these plans that I have in motion, they will be begging for a lifetime stay at a Karl Marx Treatment Center!!!

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Yes, Comrade Hammer, there's no reason to hesitate, as Hamlet did, wondering whether to be(head) or not to be(head). You can get out a head of the pack -- go to the head of the class, so to speak!

Da, Comrade, it is time for Teabagger heads to roll.

Whenever people draw attention to the many different meanings of "head", I am compelled to share the following. I apologize beforehand.

There was once a guy who was just a head. That's it, a head. No arms, legs...not even a torso. (He had been seriously injured bravely fighting the racist cops during a protest).

One day, he learned of an series of operations that could finally give him a body. It had to be done gradually, first the torso, then the upper limbs and then the lower limbs. It would cost a lot of money but Obamacare would make it free!

He decided to sign up, and began to go through the process.

Problems started at once. While attaching a torso, the surgeons attached it backwards. They had to redo it. When it came to attaching arms and legs, they attached paralized limbs. This was not what the head had signed up for. So they prepared to do another surgery.

Unfortunately, when that surgery began....the head died.


And the moral is, quit while you're.....a head!