The People's Cube - Political Satire

Enough of this already!

Just what has happened to the Party that I have so lovingly and decisively nurtured all these many years, both in uniform and out, living and while "resting?" I want answers and I want them now! I come here looking to see how my many 5 years plans are coming along and find all of these pictures of scantily clad women? Posing as revolutionaries? I will show them something revolutionary alright!

But before I get down to business, I want to give a <s>shoot</s>,,, shout out to Laika! Been a long time my canine Comrade! I remember when you were but a cute little fur ball. I gave you your first chew toy. I can't recall the Commissar's name, but that is not important. Good to see you made it this long, though of course no one expected you to.

I need to speak to Hillary so we can get this movement and our plans back on track!

Where is the Chairman? I have been reading his many complaints, whining about not getting what he imagines he is due, complaining about prices, appliance problems (Dear Lenin, what have we come to?), crying about broken Hummels etc. He only imagines he has it bad, but I can remedy that. I will show him what a day in my life is like....


Oh, and while I am at it, I expect to see some progress reports from Premier Betty, and all the Commissars... and it best be good news!

I swear Hillary, I know you will be victorious in 08, but looking around, sometimes I have to wonder.

Uncle Joe - who will be voting in Florida this election cycle - wrote:Where is the Chairman? I have been reading his many complaints, whining about not getting what he imagines he is due, complaining about prices, appliance problems (Dear Lenin, what have we come to?), crying about broken Hummels etc. He only imagines he has it bad, but I can remedy that. I will show him what a day in my life is like....

Shut the Hell up, old man! You had a good run and now it's over. Remember De-Stalinization? Hmm? Ring a bell? We can't have you running around trying to kill more people than Her Excellency. It is bad enough we are actually quasi-competing with Obama in Iowa now much less have loose devils like you running around making Communism look bad again. Sorry, Joe... we have a new poster girl now and her name is Hillary Rodham Clinton. I suggest you vote for her.

Now someone get Uncle Joe an absentee ballot and someone please help him fill it out this time. Oh, and someone spray him down with something... lysol.... something... anything! Just spray him down before the smell gets into the drapes!

Chairman, having been raised in Amerika and your mind having been warped by Bush, riotous living, and Lenin knows only what else, I can see you simply do not understand. While in better days I would have wasted little time with a misguided comrade, I see a glimmer of hope in you, and I too know these are different times.

Politics has always been about image. A good image leads to power, it's that simple. Destalinziation? Even I have changed some of my former ways, not that they were in error of course, but people today lack the stomach and patriotic fever they once had. Besides, have you any idea how many rubles it would cost now to uproot an entire region of my glorious Motherland? Though with all the new oil we have now, my protege Putin is starting to realize that sometimes, the old ways are the best ways.

I am here to help the Party and of course Hillary Rodham. Why my little impudent Chairman, she is the apple of my eye. I only came out of the closet if you will, to advance her cause. But I too have toned down my former ways, eased up a bit on my so called "cult of personality,' a lesson that so far, I see Hillary has learned well, and like her, I too have became more one of the people as you can see here:

Uncle Iosif wrote:Oh, and while I am at it, I expect to see some progress reports from Premier Betty, and all the Commissars... and it best be good news!

Uncle Iosif!! I am so glad to see you again! How's everything back home? Oh how well I remember the times I had when my father Comrade Beria would bring me to your dacha and let me play chase the agent provocateur with your tanks. As you can see, I have made but a small name for myself here in Amerika, though as you taught me, even in a small directorate such as Eco-Prostitution and Mental Health, there is much knowledge to be gained, and as we know, knowledge is power.

While of course I can not give out the details here in this forum, I can tell you that all of my 5 year plans have not only been met, they have been surpassed by no less than 62.5%, and I am working hard to increase those heady gains. I must also note that the increased use of the Boobs for Bush bimbo's has resulted in a decrease in excitement and so a corresponding decrease of 14.2% of carbon dioxide greenhouse gases.

Uncle Iosif wrote: I expect to see some progress reports from Premier Betty

Um... the progress is... uh... progressing on schedule... everything is fine.

P.S. What game is that made in?

I am most pleased to hear this as is Hillary I am sure. I do hope no one has received the wrong impression that I am here to take any glory or power from my Comrade Hillary. Not at all, though of course I am most interested in the progress being made on the western front in our common struggle. My only interest here is to help Hillary take final control in Amerika with Hillary as the sun that shines the light of progressiveness over the great power in the West as I shine in the East.

Game? What is this "game" you are referring to Premier? I really have had no time to play games since as you can see below, my time has been spent single handedly defeating facism and stemming the imperialist powers around the globe, not to mention having to deal with subordinates that spread lies about me or give me false reports.

Is it one of the Call of Duty games? Or maybe it's Medal of Honor? GAAA! Tell me! I must know!

I can assure you Premier that I personally have no idea of any of these "games" that you mention. Perhaps the Propoganda department can help with this? As if keeping the world safe from facism and capitalism were not enough, I am also busy trying to clear my good name from the stains of some of the vicious, false, slanders that have been spread about me in my recent absence. But I do believe I am making some progress.