The People's Cube - Political Satire

**3/22/2015, 12:02 pm**

Fun camps for adults is an idea whose time has come!

Hillary Clinton Wants to Send Citizens to Camps - Fun Camps!

In the documentary footage above we see just one of the fun training activities that American adults can engage in, called "dig in and double down for progress."

Let's put our trained minds together and do some kollektive-sourcing. What are other fun activities would be good in adult fun camps?

**3/22/2015, 12:24 pm**

Perhaps she can show us how much easier it is to create your own email server than to use one device for two seperate email accounts.

She could also educate us on the joys of racking up millions of frequent flyer miles, and how that should qualify as relevant experience on any job application.

How to stand by your man and demonize his mistresses would certainly be a big hit at the camp.

Using positions of power to bilk foreign governments out of millions in donations would be a popular activity, all the while claiming to be dirt poor in front of a live audience.

And hopefully, she will give demonstrations on how and when to use a testicle-lock-box on overly-macho right-wing extremists.

**3/22/2015, 12:42 pm**

I want to go to her kamp to learn how to speak jive when addressing large groups of black people.

I also want to learn how to run serpentine to avoid sniper fire after leaving a transport plane that corkscrewed in for a landing.

Lastly, I want to learn her amazing loss of memory secrets.

**3/22/2015, 1:11 pm**

I am not certain if it can be imparted, but who wouldn't want to have a measure of her complete indifference and the gall to ask "What difference does it make?", while addressing a congressional committee hearing on why you denied security to your own agency which resulted in the deaths of four of your brave countrymen. That takes guts, and it's why she is entitled to live by her own rules. She has earned that right by her determination. Then to blame the entire event on a completely unrelated video that nobody has ever heard of, that's legendary leadership, that can be found in fictional leaders, but rarely, if ever in real life.

**3/22/2015, 2:12 pm**

This would the perfect way to concentrate and re-educate the people's enemies.

They could be the symbol for the new National Socialist American Workers Party™

**3/22/2015, 2:24 pm**

There's the White Guilt Slave Experience...

Michele Bachmann said Hillary "can't ride the wave of white guilt" that elected President Obama (twice)... well we'll see about that. With the White Guilt Slave Experience®, progressives are shackled and put on public display at a mock slave auction, just like the real ones taking place today in racist RethugliKKKan states like Wisconsin, and Texas.

Camp guests don distinctive black T shirts boldly lettered in white with the "So Sorry"© logo. This is a "premium" camp experience and runs about what you would expect for reparations on behalf of your racist ancestors. This activity has limited availability (chains/shackles) and slots fill quickly.

An experience you'll not want to miss. You may even get an autograph and selfie snapshot with none other than the 42nd President of the United States, Bill Clinton. Nobel and Pulitzer Prize winner Toni Morrison called Clinton "the first Black president", saying, "Clinton displays almost every trope of blackness: single-parent household, born poor, working-class, saxophone-playing, McDonalds-and-junk-food-loving boy from Arkansas".

**3/22/2015, 3:11 pm**

Konservative_Punk wrote:...Then to blame the entire event on a completely unrelated video that nobody has ever heard of, that's legendary leadership, that can be found in fictional leaders, but rarely, if ever in real life.

A completely unrelated video made by a "shadowy character" who is now rotting away in some undisklosed prison cell for supposedly violating some undisklosed law. But, in this instance, what difference does it make? He and the dead embassy staff served their purpose. Komrade Glorious Leader got re-elekted and Komrade Madame Sekretary Hillaria will be running for pretzeldent. The ends justified the means. FORWARD!

Much to learn. Much to learn.

**3/22/2015, 9:26 pm**

Gummipuppe wrote:I want to go to her kamp to learn how to speak jive when addressing large groups of black people.

I also want to learn how to run serpentine to avoid sniper fire after leaving a transport plane that corkscrewed in for a landing.

Lastly, I want to learn her amazing loss of memory secrets.

I am pleased to report that I have successfully mastered all of the above talents and have proceeded to dutifully forget them. The Party has informed me that due to Great Leaders beneficent Affordable Care Program and current lack of Medical Practitioners, my previous services as Tree Surgeon (and the fact that I have my own saw) now qualify me to be Camp Doctor. Let the fun begin Comrades.

**3/23/2015, 7:59 am**

Dr. Worddust, you seem qualified. I'm sure you would uphold the Constitution like esteemed comrade Kermit Gosnell.

**3/23/2015, 1:58 pm**

Some suggestions from our Facebook page:

Obama - "Have them face towards Mecca while they're doing it."

"Holes" for adults. Except in each hole they'll bury one email or Rose Law Firm billing document.

Playing "the peasants and the elites" game.

**3/23/2015, 3:39 pm**

Let's see,

The Email Server Hunt: It's just like the snipe hunt; there is no server
The Scandal Game: One camper reaches into a "scandal jar" and pulls out a piece of paper with a scandal on it. After accusing a fellow camper of a scandal, the other camper says, "What difference, at this point, does it make!?"
The Riot Game: Have the campers burn down some buildings. The first camper who finds a video on somebody's Obamaphone and shouts, "I know what caused the riot!" wins.
The Accomplishment Game: Gather all the campers into a room and have them write down all of their accomplishments. The camper with the shortest list wins.
Tall Tales Around the Campfire: The camper that can tell the most exaggerated story which incorporates the most details of the lives of other campers wins.
Whitewater Rafting: Each team tosses one member off their raft in a Class V or VI rapids. The team that most successfully convinces the local media it was a suicide wins.

**3/23/2015, 7:46 pm**

Games! I love games! Especially Dig the Ditch, Beat the Rock, Whack-a-Prole, and my all time favorite, "Commissarka, May I?"

Arts and crafts: Everyone gets to make protest signs, awareness ribbons, and wristbands to show how much they care.

And don't forget sit-ins, lie-ins, die-ins, pee-ins, etc.

Girls' Night: We all dress up in giant pink vagina costumes so men will stop seeing us as sex objects!

**3/24/2015, 2:05 am**

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Games! I love games! Especially Dig the Ditch, Beat the Rock, Whack-a-Prole, and my all time favorite, "Commissarka, May I?"

Arts and crafts: Everyone gets to make protest signs, awareness ribbons, and wristbands to show how much they care.

And don't forget sit-ins, lie-ins, die-ins, pee-ins, etc.

Girls' Night: We all dress up in giant pink vagina costumes so men will stop seeing us as sex objects!

Comrade Commissarka, I have 2 questions:

1. Will the mentioned "arts and crafts" be allowed to be different and thereby reduce the collektivist education given in the fun camp, or will they be constructed according to a state-issued diagram with precise, engineer-grade geometric tools such as compasses and rulers?

2. Why are you being a sexist swine by suggesting "Girl's Night" and "Commissarka, May I?" Everybody knows that at fun camp, everyone is the same, regardless of how different their bodies may be. Therefore, the updated titles should be "Comrade, May I", and "Comrade's Night", in which everybody dresses up like a KKKapitali$t and proceeds to make themselves look like fools to denounce KKKapitali$m while increasing and enhancing Collektivist teachings.

**3/24/2015, 8:33 am**

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Games! I love games! Especially Dig the Ditch, Beat the Rock, Whack-a-Prole, and my all time favorite, "Commissarka, May I?"

Arts and crafts: Everyone gets to make protest signs, awareness ribbons, and wristbands to show how much they care.

And don't forget sit-ins, lie-ins, die-ins, pee-ins, etc.

Girls' Night: We all dress up in giant pink vagina costumes so men will stop seeing us as sex objects!

Comrade Commissarka, I have 2 questions:

1. Will the mentioned "arts and crafts" be allowed to be different and thereby reduce the collektivist education given in the fun camp, or will they be constructed according to a state-issued diagram with precise, engineer-grade geometric tools such as compasses and rulers?

2. Why are you being a sexist swine by suggesting "Girl's Night" and "Commissarka, May I?" Everybody knows that at fun camp, everyone is the same, regardless of how different their bodies may be. Therefore, the updated titles should be "Comrade, May I", and "Comrade's Night", in which everybody dresses up like a KKKapitali$t and proceeds to make themselves look like fools to denounce KKKapitali$m while increasing and enhancing Collektivist teachings.

Comrade Stierlitz,

You are clearly in need of reeducation regarding the well known Equality Spectrum™. The ES is a rigorously researched and scientifically sound arrangement of equality and privilege, and it always accords with the Current Truth™. Everybody knows, for example, that the Inner Party is more equal than our groveling proletariat underlings. While the science is not completely settled about the varying equality of the Race Card and the Gay Card, it is accepted by consensus that each is more equal than being non-gay or without a race. But certainly you should have known since the early 70s that womyn, who have been only oppressed by men until Hillary bore their suffering upon herself, are distinctly more equal. Yes, it would be unforgivably sexist to have a Men's Night or a game of Komissar, May I?, just like observing White History Month or having a Congressional White Congress would be a capital offense, but these rules only apply to those who have no gender, unlike womyn.

To avoid being the next object of Whack-a-Prole, and an extended hospital stay, I strongly recommend some significant gesture of repentance and willingness to undergo sensitivity training.

I'm trying to help because I care.

**3/24/2015, 9:06 am**

New Comrade Steirlitz,

The Commissarka is not to be questioned, in fact, don't even make eye contact if you can avoid such.

Keep a safe distance, that shovel moves like lightning, and the whacking takes forever to heal (but chicks dig the scars)...

**3/24/2015, 11:36 am**

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Games! I love games! Especially Dig the Ditch, Beat the Rock, Whack-a-Prole, and my all time favorite, "Commissarka, May I?"

Arts and crafts: Everyone gets to make protest signs, awareness ribbons, and wristbands to show how much they care.

And don't forget sit-ins, lie-ins, die-ins, pee-ins, etc.

Girls' Night: We all dress up in giant pink vagina costumes so men will stop seeing us as sex objects!

Comrade Commissarka, I have 2 questions:

1. Will the mentioned "arts and crafts" be allowed to be different and thereby reduce the collektivist education given in the fun camp, or will they be constructed according to a state-issued diagram with precise, engineer-grade geometric tools such as compasses and rulers?

2. Why are you being a sexist swine by suggesting "Girl's Night" and "Commissarka, May I?" Everybody knows that at fun camp, everyone is the same, regardless of how different their bodies may be. Therefore, the updated titles should be "Comrade, May I", and "Comrade's Night", in which everybody dresses up like a KKKapitali$t and proceeds to make themselves look like fools to denounce KKKapitali$m while increasing and enhancing Collektivist teachings.

Comrade Stierlitz,

You are clearly in need of reeducation regarding the well known Equality Spectrum™. The ES is a rigorously researched and scientifically sound arrangement of equality and privilege, and it always accords with the Current Truth™. Everybody knows, for example, that the Inner Party is more equal than our groveling proletariat underlings. While the science is not completely settled about the varying equality of the Race Card and the Gay Card, it is accepted by consensus that each is more equal than being non-gay or without a race. But certainly you should have known since the early 70s that womyn, who have been only oppressed by men until Hillary bore their suffering upon herself, are distinctly more equal. Yes, it would be unforgivably sexist to have a Men's Night or a game of Komissar, May I?, just like observing White History Month or having a Congressional White Congress would be a capital offense, but these rules only apply to those who have no gender, unlike womyn.

To avoid being the next object of Whack-a-Prole, and an extended hospital stay, I strongly recommend some significant gesture of repentance and willingness to undergo sensitivity training.

I'm trying to help because I care.

Comrade Blogunov, thank you for reeducating me on a basic level. I have seen the errors I have made against the eternally true Commissarka and shall attend reeducation programs if need be.

However, I did not know the circumstances surrounding such Race and Gay cards, so thank you for informing me on those. Also, I did have a basic, but incomplete, understanding of the relationship between womyn, Hillary, and society, but never got the full story in my briefing class when I immigrated to the People's Country, they said that they had to go fast because of an unexpected increase in immigrants, so I never got the full picture.

Comrade Ivan, I do not believe you. I have been hit many times with shovel, but chicks stay away from me. Could it be my KKKapitali$t-looking suit that I wear because I cannot afford Red Square's clothing made from the finest materials?

**3/24/2015, 11:45 am**

Comrade, try approaching from downwind...toiling in the beetfields can make one a bit fragrant until Kollecktive Bath Night. (I hear there is one scheduled in time for the May Day Parades!)

**3/24/2015, 7:39 pm**

For the love of Lenin. Where do I begin? I suppose I may as well start with Comrade Stierlitz, who dares to question me and my motives, as if I'm some GOP candidate. What could be lower than that? Then he calls me a “sexist swine”—which is hateful not only to me, but to members of the Muslim community. Stierlitz, in addition to being a misogynist, is also an Islamophobe! And if that's not enough, he thinks dressing up and pretending to be capitalists would be “fun.”

If this isn't proof that Stierlitz is really some bomb-throwing, hostage-taking, climate-denying right wing terrorist, then I don't know what is. But I do know what to do about it!

WHACK!!!

I'll bet you write secret, seditious letters to Iran in your spare time. You disgust me.

Now you, Blogunov. Oh, spare me that fake, innocent, “Who, me?” look. YOU are the whole reason we need a Girls' Night. You and your male oppression. How dare you try to straighten out Stierlitz for me because you think I can't do it myself, because you think you'll be admired and adored for doing so! Just like a man! Look at you trying to play Sir Walter Raleigh and spread your cloak over what remains of Stierlitz as he lies there soaking in a puddle of his own filth, all so I don't soil my boots while I stomp over him on my way to confront you and your machismo, like you think I'm going throw my arms around you and hug you and kiss you and coo, “Ohh, Blogy! You're my hero! You're so brave and strong! You saved me from that evil, stupid Republican!”

I suppose you think you should also open doors for me? Pull out chairs for me? Let me into the lifeboat first, because you think I'm weak and helpless, and doing all that stuff makes you look big and brave and strong and heroic, all at the expense of my dignity! My rights! My entitlements! My victimhood! And speaking of lifeboats, did you ever notice that toward the end of Titanic, Rose credited Jack with SAVING her in every way a woman CAN be saved? What a pathetic sellout. If she hadn't died five minutes later, I'd wonder why she doesn't have her own program on Fox News.

Well, I don't need your saving. When I want help from someone bigger, someone who thinks they know better than I do what I want and need, someone I can look up to and admire and worship, I turn to none other than the Government!

WHACK!!!

Notice I don't need a man to help me wield my shovel!

And now you, Ivan the Stakhanovets...

WHACK!!!

That's for laughing at other people because they got whacked with a shovel.

**3/24/2015, 8:36 pm**

I feel so left out....

**3/24/2015, 10:12 pm**

Stakhanovets, Stierlitz, this is why I wear a kevlar keffiyeh even if it only helps a little. While I'm off to the camp infirmary for some morphine, I'll leave you some of my (very manly) wrinkle cream. It does wonders for shovel imprints to the face or back of the head. It also helps with the double vision and the unicorn hallucinations.

No, no, Betinov, never ask to have your cranium driven down the fairway to the 14th hole. Oh, sorry, I meant no offense by "cranium"; if I could think clearly, I would remember that you're differently housed. Remember Commissar "Oo! Oo! Whack me! Whack me!" 7.62? Anyway, if you're like me, you know how to get whacked without even trying. Just say something that can be misconstrued as offensive, that is, just say something.

**3/24/2015, 11:17 pm**

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:For the love of Lenin. Where do I begin? I suppose I may as well start with Comrade Stierlitz, who dares to question me and my motives, as if I'm some GOP candidate. What could be lower than that? Then he calls me a “sexist swine”—which is hateful not only to me, but to members of the Muslim community. Stierlitz, in addition to being a misogynist, is also an Islamophobe! And if that's not enough, he thinks dressing up and pretending to be capitalists would be “fun.”

If this isn't proof that Stierlitz is really some bomb-throwing, hostage-taking, climate-denying right wing terrorist, then I don't know what is. But I do know what to do about it!

WHACK!!!

I'll bet you write secret, seditious letters to Iran in your spare time. You disgust me.

Pinkie, I also ask: Where do I begin?

You mention Comrade Lenin. He is great, this is a given, however you are simply using his name to support your own motives and agenda, rather than the eternally great agenda set forth my Comrades Marx, Trotsky, and Lenin.

I present a quote from Comrade Lenin:
"Down with this contemptible fraud! There cannot be, nor is there nor will there ever be “equality” between the oppressed and the oppressors, between the exploited and the exploiters."

Comrade Pinkie, you are becoming an oppressor, and you are oppressing me and many other Comrades who toil endlessly for the future and triumph of Communism. You exploit us, you go and sit in your fabric-covered chair in the shade while we work hard out in the hot sun and the freezing snow, and when we get home all we have to sit on is an old wooden crate, and if we have a chair it is always made out of the rottenest of framing wood. You say you want equality, but it is merely a vaneer on what is truely a dirty, filthy, KKKapitalist piece of scum! Your agenda is not true equality, but the exploitation of those who you deem lower than you. And what is the exploitation of those who you deem lower than you? KKKapitalism!

You also denounce me questioning you. However, you have exploded very much like a filthy, dirty, rich KKKapitali$t scum who has been questioned in a People's Court of Communist Law. I have found in observing people, whether it be from across the beet field or in crowds in the towns, that those who explode when asked of their motives usually know deep down that they are wrong. And Pinkie, you ARE wrong. You have exploited many, hit many with your shovel of oppression, and by incapacitating many Comrades with your shovel, have slowed down the machine of Communism, further delaying the glorious day when Communism is fully implemented by weeks, months, years, decades, or even centuries! You are a KKKapitalist subversive, and I am beginning to suspect that your title of Commissarka, which has been all but nullified, voided, and denounced, is merely decorative, and always has been! I wouldn't be surprised if you are, indeed, one of the GOP scum you speak of and denounce. YOU HAVE STRIPPED MILLIONS OF THE PURE POWER AND AWE OF THE TRUTH OF COMMUNISM!

Furthermore, you are not only exploiting Comrades, you are also exploiting Muslims! By you, a non-Muslim, using Muslims and the Islamic community, to further your arguments of violence and Islamaphobia, you are being Anti-Islam! Every Comrade all over the world knows that Islam is a religion of Peace, and by you using it to further your message of violence you are not only tarnishing the reputation of Communism by making it appear as having inequality, you are also tarnishing the reputation of Islam and Muslims by presenting them as violent people. I suspect that the reason why you are tarnishing the Islamic community so easily and effortlessly is that you are afraid of them, that they may demand equality, and dethrone you from your own little Shovel-waving monarchy. And, because you are afraid of Islam, you are by definition Islamophobic!

In addition, you also denounce me suggesting that it would be fun to dress up as KKKapitalists. I believe you may need to go be reeducated, because any Comrade would have made the connection and conclusion that at such an even, we would portray KKKapitalists as fools, and tarnish their reputation, leading others to the truths of Communism. you not making this connection you prove that you are slipping away from Communism, and that your title of Commisarka should be stripped and you inducted into a reeducation program.

Finally, you are using the shovel, a symbol of Communist friendship, cooperation, and commitment, as a weapon to, once again, oppress and enslave us like the filthy KKKapitalist scum you are. Also, I suggest that to speed up progress, you actually work with the shovel, not sit around all day on your throne watching us and cleaning and polishing your shovel that should be dirty from the glories of Communist labor.

Comrade Pinkie, you sicken me. You tarnish the reputation of Islam, Communism, and glorify KKKapitalism by exploiting fellow Comrades and presenting it through your actions as a superior system. You also have stained a symbol of Communist glory, and you did all this in one fell swoop! I, honestly, am surprised you are not in the gulag yet. I, however, have notified the State Police, and this situation may soon be rectified. I hope you have a good time in the gulag.

Comrade Blogunov, thanks for the tip. I already have mine on.

**3/24/2015, 11:53 pm**

Suitable for Kamp Kouples playing in any Oval Space, Hide the Cigar.

The Name Game. Creative name calling to belittle women who actually have sex. Examples like, "that narcissistic loony toon," or "trailer trash." Be creative!

Be a Good Trooper. Help book rooms and make sex trysts for Bill & Hillary. The most discrete Trooper wins.

Hillary Hocus Pocus. Who can magically turn $1000.00 Monopoly Dollars into $100,000.00 real Dollars overnight? A real challenge and a great Kamp Sleepover Game.

Kiss & Kill. For the serious kamper only. Make out with the Kamp Kounselor until he or she becomes unconscious and then hide the body in the park. Searching for the body makes this game fun for the entire Kamp.

**3/25/2015, 5:55 am**

That Stierlitz fellow doesn't take a hit very well. It seems he's had his bell rung on the first strike.

I will redistribute my next Jiffy-Lobo appointment for the Cause, and move Comrade Steirlitz into my place, even though I am only one punch on my card away from the imitation plastic caviar spoon-set...

(dude, ask for Misha, tell her you want the Kristallnacht Special--it's AWESOME!)

**3/25/2015, 8:13 am**

Stierlitz, have you gone mad!? Is it the trauma to the right side of your brain that hinders you from thinking like a good leftist!? By Marx, look at what you've done! Of course the Inner Party sits in lounge chairs while the Proles do the work; it's called giving back. Of course I have a modest 120 room beachfront dacha, but it's the people's dacha (only don't come too close, the guards are trigger happy). Do you not recall that we claim to stand up for the little guy while bleeding him of his life essence and telling him it's all for the Greater Good™? We howl with laughter at their gullibility, and it's all part of the racket. Do you really think WE believe all that recycled waste about saving the planet? Either it's brain trauma, or you're a, a whistle blower due for a show trial.

**3/25/2015, 10:12 am**

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
Stierlitz, have you gone mad!? Is it the trauma to the right side of your brain that hinders you from thinking like a good leftist!? By Marx, look at what you've done! Of course the Inner Party sits in lounge chairs while the Proles do the work; it's called giving back. Of course I have a modest 120 room beachfront dacha, but it's the people's dacha (only don't come too close, the guards are trigger happy). Do you not recall that we claim to stand up for the little guy while bleeding him of his life essence and telling him it's all for the Greater Good™? We howl with laughter at their gullibility, and it's all part of the racket. Do you really think WE believe all that recycled waste about saving the planet? Either it's brain trauma, or you're a, a whistle blower due for a show trial.

Comrade Blogunov, now that you mention it, I DID have a terrible headache on the right side of my brain. The Left side of may brain also felt like it was on fire. Should I have left it until it didn't ache or burn anymore before trying to reason? I've never been hit with a shovel before, a bus yes, but not a shovel. Today it doesn't hurt as much and when I look at the things I said I am ashamed.

**3/25/2015, 12:37 pm**

I'm relieved to hear that you're coming back to your senses. Did you realize that in your delirium you were talking about exploiting the masses as if that were a bad thing?

**3/25/2015, 1:58 pm**

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
I'm relieved to hear that you're coming back to your senses. Did you realize that in your delirium you were talking about exploiting the masses as if that were a bad thing?

Yes Comrade, although when I got to that part I started to laugh. I never thought that I would let myself say such silly things. Anyway, My head just barely hurts right now and I'm back to my old self. Also, it actually isn't so bad that the Commissarka's shovel is squeaky-clean, I would've had to use my last water ration stamp for the month to clean my head if the shovel wasn't clean.

**3/25/2015, 2:59 pm**

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
I'm relieved to hear that you're coming back to your senses. Did you realize that in your delirium you were talking about exploiting the masses as if that were a bad thing?

Yes Comrade, although when I got to that part I started to laugh. I never thought that I would let myself say such silly things. Anyway, My head just barely hurts right now and I'm back to my old self. Also, it actually isn't so bad that the Commissarka's shovel is squeaky-clean, I would've had to use my last water ration stamp for the month to clean my head if the shovel wasn't clean.

Glad to see you have come around Comarade Stierlitz. It is somewhat unfortunate, as I was gearing up for a momentous show-trial at your expense. I figured you would see things the regime's way with enough persuasion. I hope, for your sake, that the esteemed Commisarka will understand and forget that this little episode ever took place, although it may require some groveling and pleading on your part.
A ruble's worth of free advice: Anytime you are accused of wrongdoing, remember to adopt Comrade Hillary's standoffishness by rhertorically asking your accusers whether you did it because you saw a video, or you were just out for a walk one night and decided to commit a crime, then give a long pause and then frown while shouting the question, "WHAT DIFFERENCE, AT THIS POINT, DOES IT MAKE?"

(Arguments in the Klintonov household have honed this ability. It may be best to practice it on your wife when she accuses you of eating all the beet-dip)

**3/25/2015, 3:09 pm**

Comrade Punk, you have much to learn. The Commisarka never forgets.

Even though silly distractions like facts or evidence or due process may be material to the accused, Pinkie simply accesses the rectal database, pulls out a crime and a conviction, and takes action.on the nearest comrade...

**3/25/2015, 4:08 pm**

Wow. Some people just don't know when to keep their big mouths shut, or when to quit while they still have some semblance of a head on their shoulders.

Blogunov?

WHACK!!!

How many times do I have to tell you I don't need you or any man coming to my rescue? I'm fed up with your misogynistic oppression. If I want someone big and powerful to do anything for me, I will depend on the Government and only the Government!

And you, Ivan the Stakhanovets...

WHACK!!!

How dare you take any notice at all of my butt? That's why we wear the giant pink vagina costumes on Girls' Night—so you'll stop obsessing over our body parts all the time!

As for you, Betinov...

WHACK!!!

How I detest whiners.

Oh, and Stierlitz...

WHACK!!!

Because I wouldn't want you to feel left out like Betinov does.

Now, is there anyone else out there who doesn't know when to keep his big yap shut?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

**3/25/2015, 5:33 pm**

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Wow. Some people just don't know when to keep their big mouths shut, or when to quit while they still have some semblance of a head on their shoulders.

Blogunov?

WHACK!!!

How many times do I have to tell you I don't need you or any man coming to my rescue? I'm fed up with your misogynistic oppression. If I want someone big and powerful to do anything for me, I will depend on the Government and only the Government!

And you, Ivan the Stakhanovets...

WHACK!!!

How dare you take any notice at all of my butt? That's why we wear the giant pink vagina costumes on Girls' Night—so you'll stop obsessing over our body parts all the time!

As for you, Betinov...

WHACK!!!

How I detest whiners.

Oh, and Stierlitz...

WHACK!!!

Because I wouldn't want you to feel left out like Betinov does.

Now, is there anyone else out there who doesn't know when to keep his big yap shut?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

Commissarka, you're one helluva woman. You really do know how to treat a man. Some gals just say they're friends with me, but whacking me with your shovel just because you don't want me to feel left out, now that's true friendship.

And you in that pink vagina costume, ooohhh that's one helluva look. And the way you just rely on the government for everything, and not rely on us shovelsniffers, that's like the cherry on top.

**3/25/2015, 6:35 pm**

Pinkie, in the name of Lenin the Beneficent, of Stalin the Merciful, forbear! Are not these brothers rather to be won over than punished (except for Betinov who has no sensory organs)?

**3/25/2015, 6:48 pm**

Comrade Steirlitz, after fair warning,

You are now a spectator sport. All the best!

Ivan

**3/25/2015, 8:01 pm**

I'm not quite sure why [color=#C0392B]Commissarka Pinkie[/color] wrote:
And you, Ivan the Stakhanovets...

WHACK!!!

How dare you take any notice at all of my butt? That's why we wear the giant pink vagina costumes on Girls' Night—so you'll stop obsessing over our body parts all the time!

.
My dearest Commissarka Pinkie,

Ivan is your knight in shining watch cap!

I wish I was so lucky to be released!

May

PS - watch his hands...

**3/25/2015, 9:34 pm**

Steirlitz, welcome to a proud, battered, and thoroughly traumatized brotherhood. Pinkie offers equality of laceration for all, with malice to none. Okay, malice for all, too.

**3/25/2015, 10:19 pm**

Popcorn, anyone?

**3/26/2015, 2:02 am**

[color=#C0392B]Captain Craptek[/color] is just bragging about the medal he had commissioned for this situation when he wrote:
Popcorn, anyone?

.

**3/26/2015, 12:27 pm**

Captain Craptek wrote:Popcorn, anyone?

Ahhh, popcorn. Nothing smooths over the concussions or the show trials like popcorn. Is it the beet flavor that goes so well with tractor fuel? That's my favorite.

**3/26/2015, 12:42 pm**

Just ask Hillary, popcorn makes everything more fun!

(as does a kiddie pool full of butterscotch pudding and a handful of liquored- up sorority flat-bellies on bikini night)

**3/26/2015, 2:44 pm**

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
Captain Craptek wrote:Popcorn, anyone?

Ahhh, popcorn. Nothing smooths over the concussions or the show trials like popcorn. Is it the beet flavor that goes so well with tractor fuel? That's my favorite.

I think it's the beet flavor. Either that or asphalt, but asphalt's good too. By the way, if you do get any asphalt popcorn, try having some lamp oil with it, lamp oil goes good on anything.

**3/26/2015, 10:56 pm**

I have a strong feeling that [color=#C0392B]Ivan the Stakhanovets[/color] foolishly wrote:
Comrade Steirlitz, after fair warning,

You are now a spectator sport. All the best!

Ivan

.
Comrade Stierlitz - are you the famous Max Otto von Stierlitz?

If so... are you single and how are your residuals holding out?
.

**3/27/2015, 12:35 am**

Comrade Putout wrote:
I have a strong feeling that [color=#C0392B]Ivan the Stakhanovets[/color] foolishly wrote:
Comrade Steirlitz, after fair warning,

You are now a spectator sport. All the best!

Ivan
.
Comrade Stierlitz - are you the famous Max Otto von Stierlitz?

If so... are you single and how are your residuals holding out?
.

The one and only!

As for my acquaintances, after the dissolution of the KGB I never heard from them again.

And as for being single, yes, I am single. However, my days in the KGB have caught up with me and I am simply too tired nowadays to tend to a relationship. I just sit in my chair, listening to the radio, eating canned beans and drinking water with small bits of vodka nowadays, it's pretty much all I can do with my poor government pension.

Also, where in Lenin's name did you find that picture? I've had that stored away in my safe for years, still get it out every once in a while. I still remember why they brought him in to me, he had been caught pleasuring himself with a freshly-caught Bass in the women's restrooms at what was either a government building or a meat market, I can't quite remember. I can't quite remember the punishment, I think they paraded him around town and forced him to yell out what he did.

**3/27/2015, 1:41 am**

That doesn't look much like a bass to me... It's got a good beat though!

**3/27/2015, 11:11 am**

Captain Craptek wrote:That doesn't look much like a bass to me... It's got a good beat though!
What's wrong with this picture? Shouldn't someone be "sleeping?" Perhaps the loud bass is defeating the porpoise?

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