The People's Cube - Political Satire

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Comrades, following up on Commissarka Pinkie's Official Denounce Ted Cruz Thread, we now need to do the same with Indiana and Arkansas. Indiana has passed a <spit> "Religious Restoration Law"!!! Arkansas is about to do the same!

This has greatly upset Apple's CEO. This is going to prevent Apple from making overpriced crap in China! Because Indiana and Arkansas will have these laws, people everywhere will suddenly be free to not buy Ipads and Iphones because Apple has a homosexual CEO!

Comrades, I am so frightened! Restaurants will turn away large numbers of people if they even LOOK homosexual! Forget fears about guys with facial tattoos and ugly earrings. Businesses have wanted to discriminate for years on a whole host of things. Indiana and soon Arkansas will allow them to do that! Buffets will soon be able to chase away fat people on religious grounds! Gluttony is considered a sin in many religions and hurts the bottom line of all you can eat buffet restaurants!

Consider this, Comrades. If you are forced to go through Indiana or Arkansas you WILL be discriminated against! If you drive too fast, they probably will not even give you a speeding ticket! SalesForce is refusing to send employees to conferences in Indiana even though most conferences in that part of the country would be in Chicago because they WILL be discriminated against!

Not only will you be discriminated against in these two states, but you will get cooties too! You need to get vaccinated if you are forced to enter either of these states. Otherwise, you might bring discriminating cooties to your home state and that will make your state governor spontaneously sign one of these bills discriminating against everyone in your state too!

If you happen to be driving through the country, by all means, GO AROUND them! Yes, even though this will contribute to global warming, you get a pass if you are using more fuel to avoid getting cooties from one of these backward states!

What will happen with increased discrimination in these states? Children will not be educated. Vulnerable people will not get ObamaCare because of racism. People will not be able to eat because of discrimination! Giant cockroaches will invade! Smog will increase because of discrimination! Global warming will increase in these states and polar bears in Indiana and Arkansas will die! The oceans around Arkansas and Indiana will rise! Asteroids will slam into these states! Comets will follow! Black holes will then spontaneously develop in each state! But they will not be able to pull anything in crush it into infinite density because they will be discriminated against! And finally, the moon will split in half and fall on both of these states!

Arkansas will not be the Natural State anymore after it is crushed under half the moon. And Indiana will not have Hoosiers either, whatever they are! And if the Hoosiers go away, then so will the Grinch who stole Christmas Happy Holidays!

Gays and lesbians will shrivel up and die in these states! Sandra Fluke will not get her much needed birth control! Any sports team with a gay player will automatically lose! Because of discrimination!! Transgendered people won't get their surgery paid for by the People! And when they pay for it themselves, they'll come out the wrong way! Transgendered surgery --- done the way you want it --- is a guaranteed civil right!

Unions will cease to exist! Workers will no longer have safe places! Their pay checks will retroactively drop to below minimum wage!

GPS signals won't work in these states! If your cell phone provider has ever donated to homosexual causes, your phone will no longer work in these states! All of this because of discrimination! Rivers will flow backwards. Interstates will go backwards. You'll get stuck in elevators. New Madrid will have another major earthquake! People who live on the coasts won't be able to guess where these states are even located!

Dorothy will move to Arkansas! The Wicked Witch of the West will also move, go back in time, and become first lady of Arkansas in the 1980s! Then she'll become Secretary of State and have a server farm that we can't talk about! Then she'll run for president!

We must do something about this before it's too late, Comrades! The future of civilization depends on stopping this discrimination in Indiana and Arkansas!

So that's what all the hullabaloo is about? Geez I never looked at it that way comrade. Thanks for the enlightening diatribe. And here I thought the law was there to ensure that gays don't lose their heads at the hands of religious zealots (peace be upon them), not that there's anything wrong with that.

Comrade Vlad Linen wrote:Restaurants will turn away large numbers of people if they even LOOK homosexual!

I thought the Current Truth was that it was impossible to tell who is homosexual just by looking at them. Take for example this guy, is he homosexual or not?

Dedhedvedev wrote:
I thought the Current Truth was that it was impossible to tell who is homosexual just by looking at them. Take for example this guy, is he homosexual or not?

Komrade Dedhedvedev, I believe that Komrade Glorious Leader "is still evolving" on that. I would be willing to bet my monthly ration of beets and sawdust-laden bread that after he is finished "evolving," he will officially kome out of the kloset and announce that he plays for the other team. He will then boykott Indiana and Arkansas by kancelling all future visits, fundraisers, and speeches there. Hmmmmm.

Gummi-guy, never forget Dear Leader's "body man" Reggie Love, who has been "laying low" for some time now...

Get on the bus, it is time to start riots and looting protests. Hands up, don't shoot.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Gummi-guy, never forget Dear Leader's "body man" Reggie Love, who has been "laying low" for some time now...

I do not forget. Reggie is Komrade Glorious Leader's boy toy. He may have flings with Komrade Krisp Kristie Kreme from time to time, but he always goes back to his sweetie Reggie. BTW, you never see a smile like that on Komrade Glorious Leader's face when he's with Moochelle Michelle. They have an agreement. She gets endless luxury vacations, poorly fitting ekspensive dresses, kaviar, a silk Gucci feedbag, and he gets Reggie.

Comrade Red Square, most glorious People's Battle Map as always! But there is a strong new player who has joined the LGBTQ Allies: The People's Glorious Socialist Republic of Connecticut. Commissar Malloy has signed an edict banning state travel to Indiana! I'll bet Indiana is quivering and shaking over the fact that they will lose CT state funded travel which probably doesn't happen to their state!

Commissar Malloy is taking to his Twitter feed to show how much greater the People's Republic of Connecticut is compared to that discriminating dump called Indiana! It is glorious that he has so much time on his hands to compare his little state to Indiana. Everything must be working really well for him to have time to be so gloriously outraged. And maybe he even has someone in the closet for him like Dear Leader has Comrade "body man" Reggie.

Arkansas better watch out! Connecticut might ban state travel to Arkansas too! Then the state will go into economic depression for lack of state funded visits by Connecticut state workers!

Goodness, what's next? Vermont, Delaware, and Hawaii might announce they won't do state funded travel to Indiana or Arkansas either?

Comrade Vlad Linen wrote: The Wicked Witch of the West will also move, go back in time, and become first lady of Arkansas in the 1980s! Then she'll become Secretary of State and have a server farm that we can't talk about! Then she'll run for president!

Wasn't she already mouthpiece of the misrepresentative house? Or was that the twin sister who took the nap with a concrete foundation blanket?

I denounce this petition standing up for evil rethugikkkan <spit> Mike Pence <triple spit>!!

On CNN's New Day this morning, Communist Comrade Chris Cuomo channelled The God and Prophet of the Christian Religion with a new message from the Deity, saying of the Religious Freedom Protection Law signed by Indiana Governor Mike Pence: “Jesus' message to you was ‘Love until it hurts and keep loving.' That's not what [this law] is. It's exclusion.” Speaking for the Savior of the World, Comrade Cuomo reversed two-thousand years of church doctrine based on biblical scriptures prohibiting homosexuality among followers of the faith. The Pope could not be reached for comment on whether this latest revelation by the Prophet Cuomo (who is himself a Catholic) will be accepted by the church, but if so, our dear comrade may soon be known to us as Saint Cuomo.

I denounce the American Family <spit> Association for having a protest of the glorious Angie's List. They are only standing up for the rights of LGBTQXYZABCNAZISTASIs. Now AFA is asking people to contact Angie's List and protest. Good businesses get involved in the culture wars and act as spokesmouths for our party!

https://onemillionmoms.com/current-campaigns/urgent-angies-list-bullies-indiana-over-religious-freedom/

Angie's List needs your help, Comrades! They have never had a profitable year in 20 years of doing business. They charge a membership fee while Yelp and others give their reviews away for free. Don't the People realize that they should be taxed for receiving such wonderful services?

Comrade Vlad Linen wrote: Angie's List needs your help, Comrades! They have never had a profitable year in 20 years of doing business. They charge a membership fee while Yelp and others give their reviews away for free. Don't the People realize that they should be taxed for receiving such wonderful services?

Angie's List is a business who's goal is to recommend which businesses to do business with. Couldn't they just give the Pro-Family businesses a bad rating? Or would that be a conflict of interest? I suppose it would be better if those businesses were forced out of existence by the People's Bureaucrats, rather than Angie's List having to risk losing their paying customers by objecting to Religious Liberty.