The People's Cube - Political Satire

TEHRAN, IRAN - In the wake of the nuclear deal reached with the Obama Administration, celebrations inside Iran ranged from cheering in the streets to accepting S-300 missiles from Russia.

One such celebratory event, overlooked by Western media, was the bestowing of prestigious official awards that come with the "Revered in Iran" title upon two surviving soldiers of the Waffen SS. During WWII, Hans Lipschitz served at Auschwitz. The other one, Helmut Oberlander, was in charge of delivering Jewish citizens from the Eastern Front.

In order to qualify, there must be documented proof that the recipients "had personally risked their lives to bring justice to Jewish war criminals and thieves during WWII, and later suffered wrongful persecution from the Western world for their righteous actions."

Crowds cheered as Lipschitz and Oberlander received their awards while wearing their original war-time uniforms.

Ali Khamenei, the Supreme Leader of Iran, issued a press release, stating that "We will always remember with gratitude their bravery and heroic actions against the Jewish dogs, who occupied German stores and Eastern European towns. We are pleased that Allah was willing to bring a large number of spectators to the award ceremony."

The award is made in the form of a small gold pendant picturing Ali Khamenei, the supreme leader of Iran, and comes with a duplicate of the plaque with the recipient's name, which was placed in "The Hall of Heroes" at the Sa'dabad Palace, the presidential residence in Iran.

Following the ceremony, Lipschitz made himself available for interviews in a closed room by select reporters.

"It is heart-warming to be finally recognized for our sacrifice," he said through an interpreter. "Not since the days of the Third Reich have we been properly thanked. It is good to see that so many people here in Iran share our sentiment of resentment towards the Jewish entity. Your recent negotiations with our former enemy, the United States, give hope for yet another final solution to that problem in the near future. But more importantly, I am overjoyed that the world my Fuehrer envisioned is coming to life through the efforts of the Iranian and Palestinian people. They may lack the blond hair and blue eyes of our Aryan heritage, but their hearts and attitudes are definitely the markings of a superior race."

Oberlander remained silent in his wheelchair due to an oxygen treatment he is currently undergoing. As the interview came to a conclusion, however, he slowly extended his right arm in a salute, to cheers and loud applause from the onlookers.

The NAZIs were a bunch of No-Good-Niks, with their "National" Socialism, they were so selfish as to not wanting to share their Socialism with the rest of the world like Glorious INTERNATIONAL Socialists. Instead they hoard it like my my neighbors hoard toilet paper instead of waiting in long line for toilet paper like proper citizen of socialist utopia.

And they were not clever like Uncle Joe when it came to clearing out groups of people that were enemy of the state, instead of just calling them "enemies of the state" or "counterrevolutionary agitators" instead they went after the groups of people themselves like the Jews, the Slavs, the gypsies, and the disabled.

This generated a lot of international disdain for them, unlike clever Uncle Joe who just called them enemies of the state and if they happened to be Jewish, Slavs, Gypsies or Disabled so much the better for the many glorious five year plans. Also, clever Uncle Joe knew how to create famine while selling their grain from the fields to help build glorious army of world socialist liberation while purging the "No-Good-Nik" farmers and merchants who selfishly wanted to manage their own fruits of their labor in fields. And if those farmers and merchants happened to Jewish, or Slavs, or Gypsies, or disabled, at least the famine killed them and not the Kremlin. This way he could garner the glorious sympathy for country on the only stage that mattered, the international stage!

Uncle Joe was so much more clever than than this man's not so glorious leader!