The People's Cube - Political Satire

WHO issues disease-naming advice to avoid offence

Comrades! The World Health Organization, in the interest of enforcing that everyone feel not-bad about themselves, has issued guidelines for not-naming diseases.

Some things to not-name diseases:

• Names which incite fear, such as the Black Death or Agonizing Groin Itch type B.
  
• People's names, such as Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease or Jim-Bob's Affliction.
  
• Animal names, such as Swine Flu or Buffalo Hoof-in-the-Nads Syndrome.
  
• Occupations, for example Legionnaires' Disease or Strippers' Toenails.
  
• Locations, such as Middle East Respiratory Syndrome or Downtown Detroit Diarrhea.
  
• Hard to pronounce names, such as histogibberellic pseudoplasmosis phenylketonuria or cholera.

Dr. Keiji Fukuda, assistant director general for health security at the WHO, said: "This may seem like a trivial issue to come, but disease names really do matter to the people who are directly affected."

Let us march forward into a Next Thursday era of severe repetitive middle finger elevation strain!

(shuffles off muttering "I couldn't have come up with this bovine feces after two bottles of Romilar and a jug of Thunderbird.")

This makes perfect sense, comrade. If somebody is dying from West African Ebola, we don't want them to feel bad. Call it simply Ebola and they can die knowing they are accepted as an equal.

I agree wholeheartedly.
Who would want to live in a world that judges people with meaningless Labels?
Hate never Heals.

The Russian name for Anthrax is translated back to English as Siberian Canker. I never heard Siberian people complain about it. But I guess they know better.

How dare they slander the Sacred Word™ PROGRESSIVE??? I suspect a plot by the nefarious Zionists.

I hear you, comrade, we shouldn't name diseases after our glorious movement, even if the name is designed to make the toiling masses feel better about their afflictions.

I motion to rename "PROGRESSIVE™ supranuclear palsy" into "REACTIONARY™ supranuclear palsy."

"PROGRESSIVE™ pulmonary disease" must be renamed into "RACIST™ pulmonary disease."

"PROGRESSIVE™enlargement," however, has a nice ring to it, and so does "PROGRESSIVE™ Insurance," let's leave those two alone.

I truly wish that Progressive Insurance would ditch Flo. It makes me want to claw my ears off whenever their "amusing and creative" radio spots come on. It also makes me wish they would make one featuring the sound of Flo being torn by a pack of wolves.

Oddly enough, I feel this way both in and out of character.

Ivan Betinov wrote:Oddly enough, I feel this way both in and out of character.

You mean, both in and out of the jar?

Red Square wrote:I hear you, comrade, we shouldn't name diseases after our glorious movement, even if the name is designed to make the toiling masses feel better about their afflictions.

I motion to rename "PROGRESSIVE™ supranuclear palsy" into "REACTIONARY™ supranuclear palsy."

"PROGRESSIVE™ pulmonary disease" must be renamed into "RACIST™ pulmonary disease."

"PROGRESSIVE™enlargement," however, has a nice ring to it, and so does "PROGRESSIVE™ Insurance," let's leave those two alone.

Progressive_Enlargements.jpg

Comrade Red, since you're "In The Know", will Progressive pay for "Enlargements"?

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:Comrade Red, since you're "In The Know", will Progressive pay for "Enlargements"?

Up to 11x14, when the subject matter is directly associated with the claim or court action.