The People's Cube - Political Satire

California Trains Professors To Avoid ‘Microaggressions'

June 11, 2015 By Blake Neff

University of California president Janet Napolitano's office has been training faculty members at the University of California to avoid describing America as a “land of opportunity,” along with other phrases the school claims are offensive “microaggressions.”

According to activists, “microaggressions” are subtle actions, usually unintentional, that perpetuate discrimination against disadvantaged groups even in environments where overt discrimination has been abolished. Now, the UC system has fully committed itself to formally training faculty to avoid and root out these perceived microaggressions for the good of all.

The attack on microaggressions is the centerpiece of a series of faculty leadership seminars carried out by Napolitano's office at several campuses across the UC system. One document used in the seminars is titled Tool: Recognizing Microaggressions and the Messages They Send, and lists dozens of menacing microaggressions for faculty to avoid.

One of the largest categories of microaggressions are those that that promote the “myth of meritocracy.” According to the document, this “myth” is spread by statements such as “America is the land of opportunity,” “I believe the most qualified person should get the job,” and “Affirmative action is racist.”

Other examples of sinister microaggressions, according to the guide, include:

• Describing America as a “melting pot” (it orders people to assimilate)
  
• Stating that “there is only one race, the human race” (denying the significance of a person's ethnic or racial history)
  
• Asking Asians, Hispanics, or Native Americans to speak up more (“pathologizing” foreign norms and treating white norms as “normal”)
  
• Using “he” as a generic pronoun for all people (it makes the male experience universal and the female experience “invisible”)
  
• Using forms where individuals must identify as male or female (it excludes the full LGBT experience)

The guide was used in faculty training sessions for UC faculty members throughout the 2014-15 school year, but its contents only recently drew more widespread attention when one professor notified The College Fix about the materials.

A PowerPoint used for seminar in April shows the dramatic tollvUC believes even a single microaggression take on students. Even a simple compliment, such as calling a student “articulate,” can set off a cascade of self-doubt and anxiety for the recipient.

A second document instructs faculty on the proper ways to intervene against microaggressions. For example, if a person commits the offense of starting a sentence with “You people”, a suggested reaction is to say “I was so upset by that remark that I shut down and couldn't hear anything else.”

Microaggressions aren't the only threat faculty have been taught to mind. Another document, the Tool for Identifying Implicit Bias, instructs faculty how to avoid being biased in evaluations or hiring decisions. The document singles out phrases such as “hard worker” as being “euphemisms” for bias that must be rooted out.

It is always a step to the left

Ah but Sir Loupe,

It's just a jump to the left.

And then a step to the right.

More Beets!

Not to be outdone, or at least to receive credits for new phenomena, I coin the words nanoagression, picoagression, femtoagression, attoagression, zeptoagression, yoctoagression. These go after the metric prefixes.

Excellent work Comrade Frum. Now let us do this properly:

Nanoaggression™
Picoagression™
Femtoagression™
Attoagression™
Zeptoagression™
Yoctoagression™


Coined by The Party™ at The Peoples Cube™ attributed to The Peoples Director for The Party™. Comrade Frum has received extra beet rations and a Golden Ticket to The Peoples Vodka Supply and Raffle; hosted every Sunday at the previously known as kapitalist pig "Churches".

Congratulations Comrade!

OMG! Even I, as a Made Prog™, feel I wanna barf! This is disgusting.

Barf Bags will cost you extra rubles and relegate you to extra beet row hoeing.... please consume barf before contaminating The Collective.

Barfing is a microagression™, and not a right!

Is giving someone the finger a microaggression?

No, it is not. Giving is giving, especially from a prog, even if all you give is a middle finger, or a fuck.

As a White Male Southerner (AKA Redneck™ in Proglodyteville) I don't do microaggressions. My very existence is a MACROaggression...

Watch out, Janet doesn't like men with too many...muscles.

Small aggressions are getting bigger and big aggressions are getting smaller.

Eliminating the gap between types of aggressions results in more fairness and equality. That is progress, comrades! An unwitting, potentially hurtful remark must be treated as a massive genocide and vice versa. Once that is achieved, the revolution will be just around the corner!

Equality of all aggressions now!

Dedhedvedev wrote:Is giving someone the finger a microaggression?

Only if you're white, Comrade.

Comrade Dedhedvedev,

Your aggression in not a Microaggression™ because as a member of The Party™ you are afforded certain aggressions that can be interpreted by The Party™ as any type of aggression or non-agression or microaggression at any given moment due to circumstances surrounding the event.

Bird Away! The Cock is totally acceptable NOW!!!

Comrade Kommissar Uberdave,

Considering that you are a Majority species (although maybe not technically, but certainly within The Current Truth) you are a microaggressor whom we will be watching closely. Very Closely.

Always WATCHING!

Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:Watch out, Janet doesn't like men with too many...muscles.

Thank you for the warning Princess Ivanova, we understand.... (*shivers in deep seated chicken fear*)

The People's Director Nails It.... (directly to the rotting board under the statue of Lenin in Red Square)...

Now if I could only get out of Siberia to enjoy The People's Decor.

Margaret! ARCHIE! Margaret! ARCHIE! Margaret! ARCHIE! Margaret! ARCHIE! Margaret! ARCHIE! Margaret! ARCHIE! Margaret! ARCHIE! Margaret! ARCHIE!.... Oh my Lenin how I want to say that 13 more times.

MEATHEAD!!!!!

What about being passive-microaggressive? Is that a thing, comrades?

Chedoh wrote:What about being passive-microaggressive? Is that a thing, comrades?

Should that not be micropassive-microaggressive? Or what if there is an imbalance of, say, micropassive-nanoaggressive, or vice-versa? (Not that I am impugning vice to any of this, you understand, or implying that there is something wrong with vice, or... but I digress.) How does one determine where the combination "crosses the line"? Dear me, we will have to hire a new provost and establish a new campus directorate to monitor this crisis.

Margaret wrote:

"And then, you know what Archie? In my dream the kids grew up and Michael became a professor at a big university. And everything changed in the future, Archie. In my dream Michael was talking just like you sort of. Only that's the way the Left talks in the future. He didn't talk like he does now. In the future he was talking like all the races are all different from each other. Just the way you talk, Archie. Like there's no individual identity only group identity. It was really weird, Archie. Scary. Michael turns into you in the future. I don't like dreams like that. Michael isn't stupid. Is he? Not that you're stupid, Archie. Of course not."

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[/img]

"...second, as FARCE."