The People's Cube - Political Satire

[img]/images/Moon_SCOTUS_Marry_Me.jpg[/img]

As we all celebrate the passages of marriage rights for the LGBT, we must continue the progression to other marriages and rights. Yes, comrades, we cannot stop at LGBT. These are the days where everyone can be anything and marry whatever they like. From animals and plants to household appliances, marriage is a privilege that the government lends out to all persons.

Need help with the vision of progress? No problem. I can give you some, but I am not the Commissioner of Matchmaking (CoM). If you need a match, you ask the CoM. Here are some examples:

You can marry animal persons as some Zooaphobes would call Bestiality. If they are not your interests, maybe plants are. I know some flowers need a mate. If not plants, inanimate objects.

You can marry the moon, but you may need to line up for that chance. If I were you, I would be careful it doesn't hit your eye like a big pizza pie (that's amore).

You might also be marrying a ghost, as Lenin is still single, and so are other deceased people's leaders.

If you feel like marrying someone, just sign a few stacks of documents and the CoM will decide for you.

If you are not satisfied with the match, we have the Commissioner of Divorce. I think that title belongs to Capt. Crapteck, but I could be wrong. Sometimes titles change their persons or vise versa.
We are still in the process of figuring out the meaning of equal rights for polygamists.

By the way, do not worry about the afterlife since you can be buried as a couple.

Forward!

Komrades! I am not only for Anime Rights but I demand the right to marry my Anime Princess!:







(Dude, it's Animisms)


(Emily Litella Mode) Nevermind!

Kommissar Uberdave wrote:Komrades! I am not only for Anime Rights but I demand the right to marry my Anime Princess!:
(Dude, it's Animisms)


(Emily Litella Mode) Nevermind!

Comrade, we can accommodate your rights.

I'm not ready to commit, but a trial shack-up would be nice...I think she'll fit into tractor barn #2 just fine!

Hammer and Loupe wrote:

Kommissar Uberdave wrote:Komrades! I am not only for Anime Rights but I demand the right to marry my Anime Princess!:
(Dude, it's Animisms)


(Emily Litella Mode) Nevermind!

Comrade, we can accommodate your rights.

...Komrade Hammer! Is it allowed to feel a tingle up my leg over this?

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

I'm not ready to commit, but a trial shack-up would be nice...I think she'll fit into tractor barn #2 just fine!

Komrade Stakhanovets! This may qualify as John Oh Deere!

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

I'm not ready to commit, but a trial shack-up would be nice...I think she'll fit into tractor barn #2 just fine!

I'm no legal scholar, but Justice Kennedy said "the right to marry is a fundamental right inherent in the liberty of the person." To me that means that you have the right to marry this lass (or her tractor, whichever), but you may not have the right to tractor barn hoedowns. You probably need to go find her, tell her that you're marrying her, call her a bigot if she protests your fundamental right to marry her, marry her, have your hoedown, then divorce her. Prenup discretionary.

Kilroy wrote: I'm no legal scholar, but Justice Kennedy said "the right to marry is a fundamental right inherent in the liberty of the person." To me that means that you have the right to marry this lass (or her tractor, whichever), but you may not have the right to tractor barn hoedowns. You probably need to go find her, tell her that you're marrying her, call her a bigot if she protests your fundamental right to marry her, marry her, have your hoedown, then divorce her. Prenup discretionary.

Comrade, if you know Comrade Ivan like I do, then you would know he meant the tractor. He has tons of pictures of tractors in the barn in which most are in shapes of hearts.

Hammer and Loupe wrote:Comrade, if you know Comrade Ivan like I do, then you would know he meant the tractor. He has tons of pictures of tractors in the barn in which most are in shapes of hearts.

I left open the possibility that he meant the tractor. Still, I think he'll have to marry it.

Hammer and Loupe wrote:

Kilroy wrote: I'm no legal scholar, but Justice Kennedy said "the right to marry is a fundamental right inherent in the liberty of the person." To me that means that you have the right to marry this lass (or her tractor, whichever), but you may not have the right to tractor barn hoedowns. You probably need to go find her, tell her that you're marrying her, call her a bigot if she protests your fundamental right to marry her, marry her, have your hoedown, then divorce her. Prenup discretionary.

Comrade, if you know Comrade Ivan like I do, then you would know he meant the tractor. He has tons of pictures of tractors in the barn in which most are in shapes of hearts.

If I marry myself, can I claim myself as a dependent? And what if I wish a polymarriage of me, myself, and I? Which is a dependent of whom? Can each of us declare another as a dependent, thereby making all dependents and none responsible? (Oh, wait, that is already being done by large sectors of the populace even without claims of marriage.)

RedDiaperette wrote:If I marry myself, can I claim myself as a dependent? And what if I wish a polymarriage of me, myself, and I? Which is a dependent of whom? Can each of us declare another as a dependent, thereby making all dependents and none responsible? (Oh, wait, that is already being done by large sectors of the populace even without claims of marriage.)

Well comrade, I think the CoM will answer your question about that as well as marrying your work. Speaking of which, who is the CoM?

Kommissar Uberdave wrote:... This may qualify as John Oh Deere!

I do not discriminate against the Irish.Ok, except for the ones who identify as Catholic. Or Protestant.