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7/14/2015, 1:56 pm
OksanaTheTerrible
Clinton_Name_Change.jpg
According to Clinton campaign aides, Campaign Manager John Podesta has made the call to poll for potential middle name changes for William Jefferson Clinton.

"Even if he wasn't named for the racist slave owner, Thomas Jefferson, we thought it best for Hillary's campaign to change it," said a campaign aide.

The aide went on to say that the names Jabbar and Jose were polling very high, but there were a few write-ins for the name Jesus.

"We are trying to keep his monogram the same, but Jesus? Why would he want to identify with racist, misogynist, homophobic Christians?" said John Podesta.

Polling will be completed soon and the new name will be unveiled before the big primaries.


7/14/2015, 2:20 pm
Ivan the Stakhanovets
I'll bet two beets he goes with "Rodham."


7/14/2015, 2:38 pm
General Confusion
Keeping in character, the name "Justice" would be a perfect fit.


7/14/2015, 6:25 pm
RedDiaperette
I suppose "Jockstrap" would be too obvious?


7/15/2015, 12:27 am
Mikhail Lysenkomann
"Jackovitch." Not only is it a perfect Prog name (sounds Russian, you know) but it's what he has been telling Hillary every time she wants sex...


7/16/2015, 9:26 am
Konservative_Punk
As the nation's first black president, Jerome, Jamal, and even Jemimah should not be overlooked as possible contenders.


7/19/2015, 6:36 pm
Warren Peas
OksanaTheTerrible wrote: "We are trying to keep his monogram the same....."

If your initials and favorite pastime were the same, would you change yours?

        Mystery item No. 1