The People's Cube - Political Satire

Komrads! Our esteemed Green kounterpart to our Red korrektness, Al Gore, has announced his intention to release a sequel to his work of Marx-esque majesty, An Inkonvenient Truth!

Do you not believe me? I Newspeak the truth! See this news piece if you must!

However, Komrad Gore has given the sequel the rather uninspiring title 'The Path to Survival'. Although it is planned as merely a book (made of recycled paper of kourse), such an ordinary title does not befit the glorious effort towards World Socialism that is being arkitektured by Komrad Gore at the Bali Konference on Klimate Change.

Therefore, in support of our esteemed kolleague, I suggest the following alternative titles for his upkoming projekt, based on Hollywood movies that the Amerikanners are so fond of:

Alternative Titles to Gore's New Book

• American Chopper-up-the-Economy
  
• A Nightmare on Wall Street
  
• Apocalypse 100-Years-Later
  
• Armagorddon
  
• Badman and Robber (Starring Ah-nold as Mr. Freeze-the-Californian-Citrus-Crop-due-to-Global-Warming)
  
• Battlefield Girth (Al Gore's waistline, starring John ‘five private jets' Travolta)
  
• Book of Shady Claims: The Gore Witch 2
  
• Citizen Insane
  
• E.T. the Extra Carbon Tax-ial
  
• Gore Wreck II: The Wrath of Gaia
  
• Greed 2: Cruise Control of The Entire World Economy
  
• Gawrs: The Revenge (on America for not voting him President)
  
• Gone With the CO2-laden Wind
  
• Goracle Christ: Superstar
  
• Gore Almighty
  
• Gorelander 2: The Quickening Sea-level Rise
  
• Gorey Rotter and the Half-Baked Points
  
• Gorinator II: Excrement Day
  
• Gorindler's List of Debunked Claims
  
• Gory Python and the Quest For the Holy Grail of World Socialism
  
• Gorzilla
  
• Ice Age 2: Global Warming Causes Record Snowfall
  
• Indiana Gore And the Prophecies of Doom
  
• James Gornd: Tomorrow's Catastrophe Never Arrives
  
• Minds-A-Blanca
  
• Morons Inc.
  
• My Little Phony: The Movie (all miniature horses equipped with rear-mounted methane traps)
  
• Naked Lies 22 1/2: The Smell of Farce
  
• No American Economic Pie
  
• No More Economic Independence Day
  
• One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in a Private Jet
  
• Pirates of the Carbon: Profiting From World's End
  
• Plan 9 From Al Gore's Empty Headspace
  
• Plant More Carbon-Offset Forests Gump
  
• Psycho (no modification to title needed)
  
• Saturday Night Earth Has a Fever
  
• Scary Movie (no change to title needed, but warning of excessive comedy)
  
• Star Gores: The Empire-with-no-clothes Strikes Back
  
• The Aviator (Al Gore's jetting around the world)
  
• The Bali Carbon Limits Massacre
  
• The Bourne Liar
  
• The Carbon Offsets Redemption
  
• The Care-only-about Polar Bears Movie
  
• The Chronicles of Yarnia: Prince Carbon-spewian
  
• The Day After the Day After the Day After etc. etc. etc. Tomorrow (disaster movie about catastrophic temperature rises of a few degrees that might take place a century later)
  
• The Day the Earth's Economy Stood Still
  
• The Excessive-Gore-Cyst II: Anyone Who Denies Global Warming is a Heretic
  
• The Goredon Compass (Part one of His Dork Materials trilogy)
  
• The Gorefather Part II (starring Al Gorino as Don Carbonleone)
  
• The Gore of the Rings: The 35 Debunked Claims
  
• The Lying King
  
• The NeverEnding Alarmist News Stories
  
• The Not Credibles (featuring a family of superheroes who can beat down logic with super strength, stretch the truth, turn global warming research invisible to peer review, and outrun challenges to a debate on global warming at super speed)
  
• The Phantom of the Gorpera
  
• The Silencing of the Lambasting Critics
  
• The Sound of Spew-Sick
  
• The Ten Commandments of Do As I Say Not As I Do
  
• The Ugly, the Ugly and the Ugly Lies
  
• Titan-Trick
  
• War and Peace Hypocrisy (docu-drama on Al Gore's flip-flopping on the invasion of Iraq)
  
• War of the First and Third Worlds

All komrads are invited to give more of their own realpolitikally korrekt suggestions.

Incidentally I have just submitted a revolutionary (what else?) research paper suggesting how to eliminate (by Lenin, I love that word!) all pollution from all land transportation in the world in the next 5 years.

Kommissar Vodkov, University of Petropavlovsk: Hot air: Non-polluting transportation in the 21st century by attaching an air hose to Al Gore's head.


I would also like to mention that I'm preparing another paper on how to solve all other energy problems. That one is called "Plutonium: For the Children™."
<br>

Kommissar Vodkov wrote:Hot air: Non-polluting transportation in the 21st century by attaching an air hose to Al Gore's head.

Um, I hate to put a damper on your research, but...
<br>http://www.mntap.umn.edu/energy/compair.htm

The University of Minnesota wrote:Compressed air is one of the most expensive uses of energy in a manufacturing plant. About eight horsepower of electricity is used to generate one horsepower of compressed air.

Sorry.
-Mikhail

Mikhail T. Kalashnikov wrote:
Um, I hate to put a damper on your research, but...

http://www.mntap.umn.edu/energy/compair.htm

The University of Minnesota wrote:Compressed air is one of the most expensive uses of energy in a manufacturing plant. About eight horsepower of electricity is used to generate one horsepower of compressed air.

Sorry.
-Mikhail

My dear Comrade Mikhail! The utilization ratio is irrelevant. Al Gore's head is an inexhaustible source of hot air.

We could call it Geo-Goremal energy!!! An inexhaustbile source of hot air produced from the vaccume of Gore's cranial region!

Free enegery from nothing!! What could be more progressive (meaning scientifically unsound)?

Everyone's getting in on the environmentally friendly act.

Just look at this 65 mpg Hybrid Piano.

Approximately 10% efficiency! Yes, the perfect Socialist fuel!

Er... I have seen shale, I have seen and smelled shale oil, I have seen units that make shale oil. We have more shale oil than the middle east has oil. Thank Gorman for keeping us from this harmful fuel!

It's the end or the World as we know it...or so I thought so.

Premier Betty wrote:Everyone's getting in on the environmentally friendly act.

Just look at this 65 mpg Hybrid Piano.

Good one premier, but nothing says enviro friendly like a good old proletarian's shovel.

Of course, and a shovel is nothing without a national holiday celebrating it. Like Sacrificial Earth Shoveling Day.

There is only one book and that is The Holy Goran and it's prophet of doom is Al Gore.

From The American Spectator:

GORE'S THINKING
Former Vice President Al Gore has asked his staff to begin laying out plans for an endorsement of Sen. Barack Obama if he performs well in the Super Tuesday primaries. "[Gore] doesn't see the utility of endorsing Obama until the endorsement would actually mean something and give Gore an opportunity to be the kingmaker," says a former aide with knowledge of Gore's thinking.

Gore is also being pressed by Clinton loyalists not to endorse anyone in the primary phase of the campaign but rather to serve as the one man who can "heal" the rift between Obama and Clinton loyalists leading on the convention in Colorado in August.

Read All

Ever wonder how many trees had to be killed to produce the Algore's (PPBUH) book?

--

The real key to that article is this:

"Gore is beyond politics now, and to endorse would lower him to Clinton or Obama's level, I think," says another former adviser.

"Gore is beyond politics now, and to endorse would lower him to Clinton or Obama's level, I think," says another former adviser.

When is he scheduled to be bodily transported into heaven?

Surely Gore's Transfiguration is mentioned in the Goreman Bible?

Of course, it's how humans came into existence!