The People's Cube - Political Satire

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Washington, D.C., July 15 - White House officials this evening have acknowledged that Chief White House Correspondent Major Garrett has been demoted to Private (E-1) for his insubordination during Dear Leader's press conference this afternoon.

"Private Garrett's harsh questioning of Lord Obama was an outrage and will not be tolerated in the world of next Tuesday", said White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest. "It has been made clear to all members of the media that questions should be softball and should tee Lord Obama up for a 12 minute response for which the President can dodge any and all questions with a straight face", Mr. Earnest continued.

A video of Private Garrett's insubordination is posted below.

Private Garrett has yet to respond to inquiries regarding his demotion and is said to be at a secure location participating in a state-mandated "time-out" session. Garrett will be undertaking in some "question crafting" re-education before returning to his duties in state run media, said a source close to the shamed newsman.

Known for his kid glove approach with celebrities and dignitaries, troubled former child star Leif Garrett has been chosen to replace "Private Garrett" at all remaining press conferences. Sources say The White House is excited to be working with the biggest ex-teen idol on the planet.

Red Walrus wrote:Leif Garrett has been chosen to replace the "Private" at all remaining press conferences.

That is great news, Red. Any chance the White House will allow Leif to report without his shirt on?

I remember that dude, he looked just like my cousin!

Shame on Major Private Garrett! As a member of the glorious left-wing media, he should know that the only questions that are acceptable to ask Dear Leader (all hail, peace be upon him, hey nonny nonny) are pre-screened versions of "What is it like to be so wonderful?" No wonder His Royal Oneness (praise His holy name) was irritated with him. His question didn't even contain so much as a single word of worship for The One (everybody dance now.) Unacceptable! This is my official denouncement of Private Garrett! Denounce, denounce, denounce, denounce.........

El Presidente wrote:

Red Walrus wrote:Leif Garrett has been chosen to replace the "Private" at all remaining press conferences.

That is great news, Red. Any chance the White House will allow Leif to report without his shirt on?

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Yes Presidente, Comrade Obama has asked Mr Garrett to do all of his reporting without the shirt. I'm not sure, but maybe Leif has let himself go a bit? All I know the guy is a hero - jumping in for Private Garrett in his time of need.

Does this Major opening mean that one of our dear captains/kapitans will be promoted to fill it?

Breitbart imitates the Cube:

Major Garrett Earns a Field Promotion to Lt. Colonel

It sure looks like Private Garrett won't be returning any time soon. Therefore, once Comrade Craptek finishes with his summer vacation, he will most likely kill for apply for the new rank!