The People's Cube - Political Satire

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Zoey Freedman: Free tampons would slow flow of gender inequality

Obviously I agree with this editorial, because everything should be fair. And free. But I have much admiration for the editor's note. It's some of the best politically correct work I've seen! Comrades, please observe and take notes.

Editor's note: This blog post refers to individuals who menstruate as women because the author wanted to highlight gender inequality in health care. We acknowledge that not all individuals who menstruate identify as women and that not all individuals who identify as women menstruate, but feel this generalization is appropriate considering the gendered nature of most health care policies.

This is a work of art.

I denounce the author of this rubbish! Why fund these supplies for post-menopausal and / or pre-pubescent females? And what of those with hysterectomy? These funds would better fund cowboy poetry readings or defending black victims of white police aggression or a snack for FLATUS.

To improve on this Cloward and Piven strategy, I suggest that all men also get free Mach 5 shavers, Organic Not Animal Tested Fair For Trade Non GMO Project USDA Vegan Shaving Cream for sensitive skin (to cover all bases), and Christian Dior aftershave to please the ladies self-identified female-gendered persons.

After all, women's periods occur once a month and most men have to shave every day, which is unfair.

Editor's note: this comment refers to individuals who shave as men because the author wanted to highlight gender inequality in health care. We acknowledge that not all individuals who shave identify as men and that not all individuals who identify as men shave, but feel this generalization is appropriate considering the gendered nature of most health care policies.

Also, FREE HAIRCUTS!

There's already a nationwide campaign -

FreeTheTampons.org

I think the elephant in the room here is cramps. To make things most equal, I propose those who do not naturally have cramps eat a huge meal consisting of habanero peppers or Indian food once a month. For those who cannot experience the joys of childbirth without an epidural can be kicked in the crotch repeatedly.

Three convicts were on the way to gulag. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.

On the train, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?" The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail".

Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"

The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire and gin, and any number of games."

The third convict, a blonde man, was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?"

The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said "I brought these."

The other two were puzzled and asked - "What can you do with those?"

He grinned and pointed to the box and said - "Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating ..."

I'm too damned mad to even do a sentence, an iota of [ON]. A f*cking piece of cardboard covered with super-absorbent s*it, when offered for free, "slows the flow" of some sort of "gender inequality"!? I know it slows the flow of SOMETHING, just not that. And what the hell do they mean by "gender inequality"!? Oh right, that's just one of those things that Progressives (and other of their ilk) can redefine over and over, like writing on a chalkboard, so as soon as you learn it they change it on you. Gaaawd.

And why the hell is their newest obsession "Stopping Gender Equality"!? NEWSFLASH: both of the sexes will NEVER be equal. Chicks'll still get pissed once a month and Guys'll still have beards. Those are things you'll never stop, EVER, no matter the legislation. But these guys have taken the Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test so many times that they think that they can legislate anything out of existence.

And this'll just be defined as a Progressive "victory". As if getting some cardboard and paper to be given to you free is a "victory". Hell, I can just open up my door when a Jehovah's Witness comes along and get the same thing. These goddamned fools think that solving so-called "first world problems" is more pertinent that solving real problems. There are shitloads of people sick, hungry, and whatnot in countries poorer than us. There are place where women, and hold on to your hats, are ACTUALLY oppressed and, here's the kicker, can be KILLED if they don't follow religious or governmental laws. And progressives wonder why so many people hate them.

And what gets me, is that Progressives THINK they're helping out people in poor, etc. countries. They THINK that they're helping just by clicking a Facebook "like" button or doing a "hashtag" on Twitter. They don't ACTUALLY help by sending money or volunteering their time to an organization that helps out in those countries. Hell, they don't even help in their own towns and cities. They could give less of a shit about homeless people, they'd rather not see the fruits of their labor. And don't try to get them to help out in a soup kitchen, they'll complain that they have to go to the spa or do some other bullshit task that they don't need to do.

JFK's probably most famous quote is "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country." This is some education that the college-educated (possibly in liberal arts) progressives never got but should have.

Fuckin' Hell. And what do they think they're accomplishing!? Mountains out of molehills syndrome they have, both in victories and enemies.

Instead of bitching about it, get the money together and create an organization that does what you want. It might be small at first, but everybody's first job wasn't CEO, either. Quit sitting around complaining and start moving around and accomplishing your dreams. This is what made America great, and the lack of it is what makes America worse. But, these progressives are probably at least 25% Marxist, so they'll think that a company is an affront to their state-sponsored religion of spending and censorship.

Progressives like to bitch,
and bitch they do.
But their bitching has expenses
to me and to you.

Dear Leader goes to Kenya.

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:

I'm too damned mad to even do a sentence, an iota of [ON]. A f*cking piece of cardboard covered with super-absorbent s*it, when offered for free, "slows the flow" of some sort of "gender inequality"!? I know it slows the flow of SOMETHING, just not that. And what the hell do they mean by "gender inequality"!? Oh right, that's just one of those things that Progressives (and other of their ilk) can redefine over and over, like writing on a chalkboard, so as soon as you learn it they change it on you. Gaaawd.

And why the hell is their newest obsession "Stopping Gender Equality"!? NEWSFLASH: both of the sexes will NEVER be equal. Chicks'll still get pissed once a month and Guys'll still have beards. Those are things you'll never stop, EVER, no matter the legislation. But these guys have taken the Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test so many times that they think that they can legislate anything out of existence.

And this'll just be defined as a Progressive "victory". As if getting some cardboard and paper to be given to you free is a "victory". Hell, I can just open up my door when a Jehovah's Witness comes along and get the same thing. These goddamned fools think that solving so-called "first world problems" is more pertinent that solving real problems. There are shitloads of people sick, hungry, and whatnot in countries poorer than us. There are place where women, and hold on to your hats, are ACTUALLY oppressed and, here's the kicker, can be KILLED if they don't follow religious or governmental laws. And progressives wonder why so many people hate them.

And what gets me, is that Progressives THINK they're helping out people in poor, etc. countries. They THINK that they're helping just by clicking a Facebook "like" button or doing a "hashtag" on Twitter. They don't ACTUALLY help by sending money or volunteering their time to an organization that helps out in those countries. Hell, they don't even help in their own towns and cities. They could give less of a shit about homeless people, they'd rather not see the fruits of their labor. And don't try to get them to help out in a soup kitchen, they'll complain that they have to go to the spa or do some other bullshit task that they don't need to do.

JFK's probably most famous quote is "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country." This is some education that the college-educated (possibly in liberal arts) progressives never got but should have.

Fuckin' Hell. And what do they think they're accomplishing!? Mountains out of molehills syndrome they have, both in victories and enemies.

Instead of bitching about it, get the money together and create an organization that does what you want. It might be small at first, but everybody's first job wasn't CEO, either. Quit sitting around complaining and start moving around and accomplishing your dreams. This is what made America great, and the lack of it is what makes America worse. But, these progressives are probably at least 25% Marxist, so they'll think that a company is an affront to their state-sponsored religion of spending and censorship.

Progressives like to bitch,
and bitch they do.
But their bitching has expenses
to me and to you.

Damn! I just love your rant! I feel the tears in it. Love you, Stierlitz.

OksanaTheTerrible wrote:I think the elephant in the room here is cramps. To make things most equal, I propose those who do not naturally have cramps eat a huge meal consisting of habanero peppers or Indian food once a month. For those who cannot experience the joys of childbirth without an epidural can be kicked in the crotch repeatedly.

In my life, I've had to cancel many meetings, including weddings, because of debilitating cramps. Women do understand this but, many men do not. It is, indeed, the elephant in the room. None of us want this to be a way we are separated from life, but, sometimes it is. And, we hate it! But, what can we do?

The answer is: please allow us our infirmities. We can't help it. Love us, as we love you.

Friends, the language of that article led me to believe, a fellow People's Cuber wrote it... Wouldn't that be a riot?

Pamalinsky wrote: In my life, I've had to cancel many meetings, including weddings, because of debilitating cramps. Women do understand this but, many men do not. It is, indeed, the elephant in the room. None of us want this to be a way we are separated from life, but, sometimes it is. And, we hate it! But, what can we do?

The answer is: please allow us our infirmities. We can't help it. Love us, as we love you.

Cancel meetings? Weddings? Pamalinsky, I think you're transgendered & transracial, because you're a HUGE DICK. Conformity and sameness must be achieved in the Kollektive, and this means never modifying schedules and always showing up on time. I also assume those meetings were Party Meetings. I know. I have the roll call right here in front of me. You missed PARTY MEETINGS because of PERSONAL PROBLEMS. And what were you doing during that time? Certainly not reading reeducative materials. I have your record of orders from the Central Bureau of Information. The last time you ordered them was in 2008, and you returned them in 2009.

As if your problems are debilitating, your state-issued drug that your telescreen tells you to take should kill any pain that you have during the day. Do we need to take you down to the medical ward of your local party barracks and have you forcefully drugged!? Start taking it and the pain will go away. And if it doesn't tell the telescreen that it isn't enough and wait for the squad to appear at you door. Be sure to put on warm clothes and locate your state-issued standard Shovel and Pickaxe after you tell the screen.

Also, why did you use the phrase "elephant in the room"? ELEPHANT is the symbol of RETHUGLIKKKAN! I honestly think that you're a republican-Conservative spy in disguise and that you're using our Holy and Gracious Kollektive and Party Organ to gain information on us so that RicKKK perry and all your little degenerate republican friends know how to combat us more effectively. Well, I've got a message for you and your friends: YOU CAN'T BEAT US. WE ARE ALL-KNOWING, ALL-POWERFUL, AND ALL-PROGRESSIVE. By the time you make plans, they're outdated because of Revolution. By the time you think you can anticipate our actions, Progressivism redacts them. You. Can't Win.

Hmph. They are just trying to cheat the State out of excise tax on their luxury jewelry:

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:

Pamalinsky wrote: In my life, I've had to cancel many meetings, including weddings, because of debilitating cramps. Women do understand this but, many men do not. It is, indeed, the elephant in the room. None of us want this to be a way we are separated from life, but, sometimes it is. And, we hate it! But, what can we do?

The answer is: please allow us our infirmities. We can't help it. Love us, as we love you.

Cancel meetings? Weddings? Pamalinsky, I think you're transgendered & transracial, because you're a HUGE DICK. Conformity and sameness must be achieved in the Kollektive, and this means never modifying schedules and always showing up on time. I also assume those meetings were Party Meetings. I know. I have the roll call right here in front of me. You missed PARTY MEETINGS because of PERSONAL PROBLEMS. And what were you doing during that time? Certainly not reading reeducative materials. I have your record of orders from the Central Bureau of Information. The last time you ordered them was in 2008, and you returned them in 2009.

As if your problems are debilitating, your state-issued drug that your telescreen tells you to take should kill any pain that you have during the day. Do we need to take you down to the medical ward of your local party barracks and have you forcefully drugged!? Start taking it and the pain will go away. And if it doesn't tell the telescreen that it isn't enough and wait for the squad to appear at you door. Be sure to put on warm clothes and locate your state-issued standard Shovel and Pickaxe after you tell the screen.

Also, why did you use the phrase "elephant in the room"? ELEPHANT is the symbol of RETHUGLIKKKAN! I honestly think that you're a republican-Conservative spy in disguise and that you're using our Holy and Gracious Kollektive and Party Organ to gain information on us so that RicKKK perry and all your little degenerate republican friends know how to combat us more effectively. Well, I've got a message for you and your friends: YOU CAN'T BEAT US. WE ARE ALL-KNOWING, ALL-POWERFUL, AND ALL-PROGRESSIVE. By the time you make plans, they're outdated because of Revolution. By the time you think you can anticipate our actions, Progressivism redacts them. You. Can't Win.

(Snort laugh!) I stand Korrekted, Komrade Steirlitz. (Snort!)

https://www.buzzfeed.com/rossalynwarren ... nd-against

While I approve of the need to raise awareness, and care and all that stuff, in this instance, I'm not going "down for the cause...".

I tend to believe she made all around her and possibly downwind aware of her intentions and condition.