7/31/2015, 9:37 pm
It sickens me, as it should any thoughtful member of The Collective™, to witness such a grotesque display of greed by Big Baby, similar to that of Big Tobacco, Big Oil, and Big Pharma. It is simply disgusting that Big Baby would seek to profit financially from such a necessary, sacrosanct procedure as in-utero fetal dismemberment by the sale of these "specimens" for research.
However, rather than allow The Party™ to suffer the loss of election revenues through the disapproval of The People™ for receiving political donations given by Big Baby, The Party™ must recognize that the collective deserve their Fair Share™ of the haul. After all, it is primarily they who are being exploited by Big Baby, selflessly volunteering to sacrifice their young as research specimens for the Greater Good™, while enriching the corporations that comprise Big Baby.
If The Party™ truly wishes to show its compassion for this heroic class of proletarian voters who supply the lion's share of specimens to Big Baby (and incidentally, votes to The Party™). It can start by giving back to the voters. This can be accomplished by taking the young children of the rich and serving them to the poor in the form of life-giving sustenance.
You heard correctly comrade; we can placate the masses by giving the poor a place at the government trough. As the old saying goes, "the way to a man's heart is though his stomach." This will equalize the disgusting profiteering that is exploiting the proletarian masses and give the rich some "skin in the game". These tender young rich kids could be served free of charge at soup kitchens, welfare offices, cafeterias at inner-city schools, and at polling centers on election day, as a sort of "get out the vote" block party for the unwashed hungry masses.
Through these programs, The Party™ can maintain its image as an advocate of The People™, while simultaneously allowing the slaughterhouses to continue operating for the benefit of Big Baby. This will constitute a win-win for all parties, excluding the rich of course. The Party™ itself will benefit most of all, remaining the proud recipient of Big Baby's political contributions.
Credit to Dr. Jonathan Swift for inspiring this modest proposal with A Modest Proposal of his own. Credit to Comrade Putout for inspiring the accompanying image.
