The People's Cube - Political Satire

What If Stalin Had Computers?

What if the problem with the Soviet Union was that it was too early? What if our computer processing power and behavioral data are developed enough now that central planning could outperform the market when it comes to the distribution of goods and services?

Computers would be the one thing that would make a great man greater!

The author of this theoretical proposition is probably too smart and educated for such an undignified task as looking at modern Marxist regimes whose planned economies haven't improved a bit by computers.

Cuba, North Korea, and others have had access to computers for years now. Venezuela and other newly Marxist regimes in Latin America began their socialist revolutions already after the computer revolution had taken place. And yet their collective economic situation keeps going from bad to worse.

This book seems like yet another pathetic attempt at rationalization by a nostalgic die-hard who is still sore from the Soviet failure and is trying to shield his mind from the obvious fact that his beloved Utopia had turned out to be, well, a Utopia.

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So Oksana - I guess this image I just found on the internet is not real?!
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To err is human. To really F**K things up, you need a computer.

But, on the topic of the discussion, I think that some of Stalin's "younger""buddies" migt've been doing the computing for him: https://www.cpusa.org/

Comrade Putout wrote:.
So Oksana - I guess this image I just found on the internet is not real?!
.

stalin-at-computer.jpg

Here ya go buddy: Ж .Just copy+paste it. I can imagine that drinking a crate of potato vodka every day and proceeding to run a government wears a man down. And, trust me, you don't wanna get ticked at your computer at the end of a long day, especially an Ushanka like you seem to have. Those things really slim the wallet, lemme tell ya, though not as much as a UNIVAC or an ENIAC like I have.

The sequel to the book is, "How Would Stalin Feel About Windows 10?"

OksanaTheTerrible wrote:The sequel to the book is, "How Would Stalin Feel About Windows 10?"

This can actually become a franchise. For example:

What if Stalin had an Xbox?
No time for show trials, thirst for blood and gore quenched in
virtual reality, millions of lives saved.

For all I know, he'd be playing Stalin vs. Martians.

He wouldn't let others play, though.

Red Square wrote: This can actually become a franchise. For example:

What if Stalin had an Xbox?
No time for show trials, thirst for blood and gore quenched in
virtual reality, millions of lives saved.

...

What if Stalin Had a...

People's Cube?
Cell Phone?
Hybrid Car?
Space Station?
Kilo of The People's Marijuana™?
Bottle of Moonshine?
Super Tractor?

What if Stalin was a crazed gunman?

What if Stalin had a time machine that shoots flaming balls and he could travel to the future?

What if there was a video game called Red Square vs. Stalin?

I'm suffering intestinal convulsions, gasping for breath, involuntarily sounding like a hyena and having an uncontrollable desire to slap the floor several times. I hope Obamacare has a cure.

Red Square wrote:What if Stalin had a time machine that shoots flaming balls and he could travel to the future?

RedSquare_Vs_Stalin_2.jpg

What if there was a video game called Red Square vs. Stalin?

RedSquare_Vs_Stalin.jpg

Red Square, not to be rude, but shouldn't your capsule be in the shape of a CUBE and not BALL? By making your protective capsule into a ball, you send the subconscious message to your enemies that you only have one ball. Hitler had only one ball. You, because of the Chernobyl radiation, probably have 3 or 4, or at least 2 really bumpy ones. And no, they don't make it better for the gals; 2's a couple, 3's a company, but 4's a crowd. Gals don't like companies, and I'm damn sure they don't like crowds, except if they're filled with a bunch of other women.


Anyway, I came up with a card game called Red Square vs. Stalin. Not a video game, but it's a step:

1. Deal out the cards. Make up the rules for this just like any good, upstanding kommunistic government would do.
2. Form 2 teams, Red Square and Stalin.
3. Play the game. Make up the rules for this just like any good, upstanding kommunistic government would do.
4. Send whoever loses to the firing squads or drop them in a pit with vipers and hungry hounds.
5. Repeat until there is only one person left. The last one has to run for president and win; if they don't win then they have to self-inflict the same punishment as all the other losers.

If Stalin had had a computer....he could have used Excel or Lotus to create beautiful spreadsheets containing names of all citizens, with different colored borders, fancy schmancy labels (so much nicer than Beria's!), which could randomly selecct 2,000 each day for arrest and interrogation. It would have taken so much pain out of the task of being a tyrant.

Socialism has failed because they were using the wrong computers. With the right computers socialism works! Now that we know this the revolution is right around the corner.