The People's Cube - Political Satire

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Obama to nominate first openly gay service secretary to lead the Army

Dissident officers have been purged, and the culture has been "fundamentally changed" to the point that Dear Leader (PBUH) can comfortably nominate an openly homosexual person as Secretary of the Army.

His first order of business will be to redecorate the barracks, and procure sensible shoes because boots are so "Gulf War"...

FLOORWARD!

Get with the times Comrade! There's no way we'd be fielding something like that, no matter how fabulous it may look. No, the Army has decided to go with a pattern that better suits its needs, and will ensure that enemies will be vulnerable due to their uncontrollable laughter while still being more effective than ACU.



P.S. Did anyone pass the colorblindness test??

If you stare at that digital stuff long enough and just right, you can see a puppy...

Comrade Sovremennyy wrote:Get with the times Comrade! There's no way we'd be fielding something like that, no matter how fabulous it may look. No, the Army has decided to go with a pattern that better suits its needs, and will ensure that enemies will be vulnerable due to their uncontrollable laughter while still being more effective than ACU.

P.S. Did anyone pass the colorblindness test??

Bravo! Fabulous & Cool!

To support and avoid confusion with Bravo ™ , the network known for documenting progressive LGBT-Q issues and lifestyles, and to show inclusion and acceptance of womyns in Ranger School, all Infantry (formerly classified as 11-Bravo) will henceforth be classified as 11-Braless.


Inspection criteria is still under development.

Previously common words and phrases will take on new meanings under the new Sexretary of the Army.

Easy Comrades,
Give credit where credit is due.



Oh sorry, nice Tits. :)

I have it on good rumor that he is considering designing a new collection for the troops. It will allow each trooper, according to gender identity/fluidity, their choice of uniform. One can actually choose, for example, a cloak thrown over ones shoulder, even though it makes one look like they are listing to one side. This is considered deceptive camouflage. It's the flourish that counts! And, there you have it, Comrades, it's all in the flourish, (as in gesture, not actual flourishing.)

Just an ignorant question from an ignorant civilian, but shouldn't there be some form of sergeant screaming at the "Embrace the Suck" soldier for the condition of that rifle?

When I lived in L.A. my next door neighbors were gay, and funny. When the LAPD announced they were accepting gays to the force, they came up with some good jokes. One of them was "Eeeeeeks, he's got a gun." Another was, "Assume the position."

They were joking, of course, making fun of themselves.

I knew Defense Secretary Carter was one of us from the moment he appeared on the scene. See the "code words" in this quote from the article Comrade Ivan linked?:

"Fanning has been a trusted ally of Defense Secretary Ashton B. Carter, who tapped Fanning last year to oversee his transition team as he moved into the Pentagon's top job."

Tap, tap, tap,... who's there?

Yeah, well, they all get older, as we all do. Tick, tick, tick.

Pamalinsky wrote:Yeah, well, they all get older, as we all do. Tick, tick, tick.

Everyone on the ground! Sorry, I just get triggered whenever I remember my time in the Great Clock Offensive.

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Shhhhhhhhhh... I don't think she's spotted Captain Craptek yet!
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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:If you stare at that digital stuff long enough and just right, you can see a puppy...

I saw Comrade Putin with his shirt off

I don't see why everyone is so excited about the gay Secretary of the Army. The Glorious Peoples Air Force had General McPeak during the early 1990s. Anyone who saw his embarrassing "commercials" on AFRTS knows what I'm talking about. General McPeak had no interest in war fighting capability. I heard this during a talk from another Four Star Air Force Constellation (General Horner) while he was describing running the air war in the First Gulf War. I also defaced his hat. He told me not to spit in it, so I turned his stars upside down. I digress.

General McPeak redesigned our dress uniform to make us look like waiters. It WAS the first Clinton Administration. He also redesigned the flight suit. He removed some of the useful pockets and put permanent creases down the front of the legs. He also added epaulets. I remember going to supply and they had examples of both hanging on the wall. The "old style" were marked "hetero" and you can guess what the new style was marked. I doubt that would fly in today's climate.

All you manly (and womanly) Army and Marine Vets feel free to deride my Air Forceness. I denounce myself. But know this, the Sec Army is no big deal. It has already been done.

Trying to tell the Current Truth ™

Red Salmon

Comrade Red Fish, General Mc Peak is a Hero of the People!

In the greatest documented act of Maskirovka or deception planning, (see also taquiyya) he singlehandedly with a stroke of his pre-cell-phone pen of mightiness, did what the Politbureau never could during the cold war! McPeak destroyed SAC, TAC, and MAC by focusing all military leadership attention on "single vs double breasted" suits, and airline pilot stripes on sleeve cuffs! Nobody even saw it coming. This "sleight of hand" technique is STILL used today, and brought us Obamacare!

Genius, I say...

Lev Termen wrote:

Comrade Abrakham Linkol'n wrote:Oh sorry, nice Tits. :)

Nice tits? Nice tits? How about a pair of Great Tits?

The attachment GreatTits.jpg is no longer available

Even further off topic... Here's bigger tits than those!!! The Grand Tetons! Which pretty much means "big tits".

Interesting to note, any form of camouflage that appears on your computer screen is digital/pixelated.

[color=#C0392B]Comrade Sovremennyy[/color] knew exactly what he was talking about when he wrote:Interesting to note, any form of camouflage that appears on your computer screen is digital/pixelated.

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...and it works awesomely!

I used your camouflage, Comrade Sovremennyy, and now I can just barely see Birt running!
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Run Birt! Run!!!1