[img]/images/Earth_Guilty_Moon_Shrinks.jpg[/img]

Comrades!

I bring you terrible news that the activity of conservative class enemies and other close-minded bigots is causing the moon to shrink!!

We have just 10 years left to save the moon before it contracts away into nothing. Who knows what horrors we'd have without the moon...Not only responsible for the tides of our oceans, the moon is well known for affecting the rhythmic idea cycle of progressivism. It would seem that the earth exerts tidal forces on the moon as well, forces that have been thrown out of balance by the spread of rethugkkklian ideology.

What can we do?!! The answers are clear:

1. Raise awareness
2. Vote Progressive
3. Raise awareness
4. Raise awareness
5. Michael Moore movie
6. Raise more awareness
7. Exterminate conservatives
8. Partner with the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation to release insect-borne bioweapons and reduce the Earth's population by 90%, not only solving Climate Change, but also saving our MOON!

Pick up those shovels, Comrades, and dig in! The moon and life as we know it hangs in the balance...

-COV

Good to see you back, and as ravingly incoherent as ever! It has been too long since we have had a Looney cause to back here at the Cube (the Democratic Party keeps beating us to them). What color ribbon does one wear to raise lunar awareness?

Yeah, well, that's exactly what Algore said about saving the planet from Climate Change, about ten years ago, so he can get Carbon Credits™ from all Americans. No mention is given as to how taxing people will actually solve this Climate Change. In fact, they admit, it won't. All taxes imposed on you will go to them. That's what counts.

Ivan Betinov wrote:Good to see you back, and as ravingly incoherent as ever! It has been too long since we have had a Looney cause to back here at the Cube (the Democratic Party keeps beating us to them). What color ribbon does one wear to raise lunar awareness?

Glorious Comrade! Most equal of brains!! I'm thrilled to see that the People's Vodka filling your jar has not become clouded by the passage of time. As for me, well... It took far longer to inspect all of my gulags than I thought it would. Applying the appropriate corrective actions took even longer. Would you believe that Camp-437 was adding BEETS to the BROTH?!! BEETS! Perfectly good BEETS wasted on thought criminals, malcontents, and kulaks. I made an example of the kommandant by strapping him to the top of my Zil and taking a trip through my nearest Prole-o-Matic car wash.

I suppose the ribbon should be gray- a most fitting color to reflect the beauty of our most threatened natural resource. Were I more equal than I am in terms of graphic design I would create a ribbon and a few posters for the cause. Well, that and the fact that in true progressive fashion I find it most appropriate to complain about a problem rather than doing anything about it, following my own advice, or taking my own warnings seriously enough to change my lifestyle. Perhaps another Comrade will feel moved to support the cause.

Pamalinsky wrote:Yeah, well, that's exactly what Algore said about saving the planet from Climate Change, about ten years ago, so he can get Carbon Credits™ from all Americans. No mention is given as to how taxing people will actually solve this Climate Change. In fact, they admit, it won't. All taxes imposed on you will go to them. That's what counts.

A most thankful thanks to you, Pamalinsky! For your support of the party, you won't have to go to Platform 6 next time you're ordered to report to Platform 6. You should find a Get-Out-Of-Gulag-Free card tucked in your monthly ration.

You are correct. In my eagerness to raise awareness I omitted a step! Immediately after the Michael Moore movie hits theaters, step 6 should be to levy taxes against conservatives, cis-men married to cis-women, Christians, businesses, employers, those who do, those who create, those who build, and those who have more than me. I know those terms are often (though not always) interchangeable, but more rage is built when one makes a long list of evils we can shake our fists and bare our breasts at, isn't it...

What's all the fuss about baring breasts and mooning!? How's a rodent supposed to sleep with all this hubbub?

Earth Blamed for Cracks in Moon

The Earth could not be immediately reached for a comment, but it is thought to have been taken by Mars and Neptune to a small room with a single lamp hanging from the ceiling. Mars and Neptune were armed with tazers.

Kamrade Obamissar!

The rules are clearly defined:

Liberalism 101 Lesson 37:

The Scientific method as practiced by scientists:

• Ask a question

• Do background research
• Construct a hypothesis

• Test your hypothesis by performing an experiment

• Analyze your data and draw a conclusion

• Communicate Your Results

The Scientific Method as practiced by Liberal Marxist Progressives:

• Create out of whole cloth a problem for which You have a Collectivist Solution®

• Find celebrities to champion it

• Blame the problem on your opponents

• Test your hypothesis by the extent to which it demonstrates your Compassion and Caring®

• Raise taxes to fund your solution

• Wear the Right Colored Ribbon®

•Collude with other like-minded scientists to ensure Conformity of Thought®

•Sue anyone who challenges your methods.

• Ostracize any scientist who doesn't conform to your Thought Consensus®

• Hide and or manipulate results to make it conform to your solution

• Fund only research that supports your hypothesis and Collectivist Solution®

• When all else fails, LIE to protect your hypothesis

Comrades,
It is all a joke from the progressive, pinko, commie, lame stream look-alikes trying to cause friction and fear among-st the masses. Long live our revolution.

Laika has been much closer than we the people and transmitted this photo that has been hidden in Nixon's papers, recently declassified


Long live that greatest of propaganda films American Graffiti displaying teens having fun like there is no tomorrow.

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I have a friend who works for ASSA... he sent me this GIF.

Yeah... I have awesome friends!
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Comrade Putout wrote:.
I have a friend who works for ASSA... he sent me this GIF.

Yeah... I have awesome friends!
.

I always thought Jerry Brown lived there. You don't suppose they're hole-share roomies?