The People's Cube - Political Satire

In a surprising but long overdue move, New York City Department of Education has decided to eliminate the teaching of English and English literature in the interests of Diversity™ and ensuring a Safe Learning Environment™ for The Children™.

The Chancellor explained the move as an effort to eliminate an egregious and inherently offensive instance of Cultural Appropriation™. She said that on a recent Fact Finding™ mission to London, England, many of the English people she met stated that it was offensive to them that the language spoken in NYC was described as English and that to listen to it was akin to root canal surgery, with no anesthetic, the morning after a night of several dozen shots of Johnnie Walker Red Label.

Agreeing that any European Culture™ is far superior to anything that is called Culture™ in the USSA, the Chancellor returned to NYC determined to eradicate this offense from the NYC DOE.

“It took many hours of soul searching and browsing Wikipedia to finally come up with a replacement curriculum to fill the vacancy created in the students' schedule” she said. “What I, we, have decided is that we will simply take the best words from every known language and teach those to the Children™. It's a kind of linguistic Buddhism - but not actual Buddhism, because that would be Cultural Appropriation™.

“We call this new language Gibberish™. As we all know, most children are really quite fluent in Gibberish™ from an early age and, I must admit, most of the faculty excel in Gibberish™.

“Students will be encouraged to learn the new words and create their own meaning. It will strengthen their creativity and their sense of achievement. This will be a Diverse™ and Inclusive™ course in language.

“We believe that we can successfully prepare the Children™ for Higher Education™ with this course and, no doubt, many of them will go on to be local, state, and national leaders.”

Also under consideration is the elimination of math as a subject since it, also, has been Culturally Appropriated™ - from Muslim nations.

You have to wonder why they didn't just switch to teaching them Newspeak.

Yes, now i can finally say "Mambo dogface to the banana patch?" in public without shame.

Well, comrade, this can help NYC deal with the homeless problem, also. They can temporarily hire guest professors to give the Children™ personal expressions of street Gibberish:

Ah. He reminds me of my Imam. All he is missing is a shoulder mounted RPG.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Well, comrade, this can help NYC deal with the homeless problem, also. They can temporarily hire guest professors to give the Children™ personal expressions of street Gibberish:

So,.... why do they think he's crazy? Hmmmmm?

Indeed, comrade. Much like an imam, only slightly more lucid and liberal in his philosophizing on life.

Captain Craptek wrote:

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Well, comrade, this can help NYC deal with the homeless problem, also. They can temporarily hire guest professors to give the Children™ personal expressions of street Gibberish:

So,.... why do they think he's crazy? Hmmmmm?

Comrade Tree Rat, he reminds me of that cousin of yours I met all those years ago in Central Park.

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:You have to wonder why they didn't just switch to teaching them Newspeak.

[OFF]

But they are! Don't you see?

[table][tr][td] Oldspeak
[/td][td] Newspeak[/td][/tr][tr][td] Becoming a Pussy.[/td][td] Sensitivity Training[/td][/tr][tr][td] 10 Minute Film that only the boys or girls could see and/or a talk with dad[/td][td] Comprehensive Sex Ed[/td][/tr][tr][td] Christmastime[/td][td] Recurring Holiday Period of the Year[/td][/tr][tr][td] Communist Brainwashing[/td][td] Guest Speaker in Economics Class[/td][/tr][tr][td] "We're gonna play a piece by Strauss and then one by Haydn."[/td][td] "We're gonna play a piece by Kanye West and then one by Nicki Minaj"[/td][/tr][tr][td] Anti-Drug Programs[/td][td] Pro-Drug Programs[/td][/tr][tr][td] Harmless Prayer by an Individual Student [/td][td] Violation of the Establishment Clause[/td][/tr][tr][td] Shitty Teacher[/td][td] Union-approved, Government-certified Teaching Unit[/td][/tr][tr][td] Egregious Censorship on a Massive Scale[/td][td] Political Correctness[/td][/tr][tr][td] Dicking around with your hoo-ha[/td][td] Women's Studies[/td][/tr][/table]
These are just a few examples, by the way.

English is racist.

Red Square wrote:

School_New_Generation.jpg

Is not education a wondrous tool?

Thank you, comrade Red Square, for the promotion to the Mother Page. Much appreciated.

Once again, life imitates The People's Cube.

https://redstate.com/alexparker/2021/11 ... es-n474835

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:The Chancellor explained the move as an effort to eliminate an egregious and inherently offensive instance of Cultural Appropriation™. She said that on a recent Fact Finding™ mission to London, England, many of the English people she met stated that it was offensive to them that the language spoken in NYC was described as English and that to listen to it was akin to root canal surgery, with no anesthetic, the morning after a night of several dozen shots of Johnnie Walker Red Label.

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:But they are! Don't you see?