12/3/2015, 8:42 pm
[img]/images/ISIS_Weapon_Coal_Plant.jpg[/img]
Confirming the suspicions of the world's intelligence community, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) announced today that it had completed work on a doomsday weapon capable of destroying the world. Revealing the weapon on the ISIS Twitter feed, the terrorist group included a picture of what appeared to be a makeshift coal-fired power plant, along with the caption "All will come to Allah or go to Allah."
Asked about the credibility of ISIS threats to unleash the weapon that can potentially result in a world-wide famine, drought, and the drowning of coastal cities and even entire low-lying nations, President Barack Obama responded by saying, "First and foremost, let me be clear: the reprehensible use of the acronym 'ISIS' is our top concern because that implies that this group is in some way affiliated with the peaceful religion of Islam. Call them Daesh from now on."
He continued, "While it is true that this development changes our assessment of the danger posed by Daesh, and that the Daesh weapon, and others like it, is capable of causing those threatened catastrophes and many others, I have already directed my administration to redouble our efforts to contain and degrade them."
Noting his prior successes in the United States, the President promised to "put in place a system of taxes, regulations, and penalties so complex and rigorous that Daesh will go bankrupt using this weapon."
The Islamic State Instagram account later showed a picture of masked members apparently enjoying a makeshift air conditioned internet cafe powered by the weapon's electrical byproducts.
Confirming the suspicions of the world's intelligence community, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) announced today that it had completed work on a doomsday weapon capable of destroying the world. Revealing the weapon on the ISIS Twitter feed, the terrorist group included a picture of what appeared to be a makeshift coal-fired power plant, along with the caption "All will come to Allah or go to Allah."
Asked about the credibility of ISIS threats to unleash the weapon that can potentially result in a world-wide famine, drought, and the drowning of coastal cities and even entire low-lying nations, President Barack Obama responded by saying, "First and foremost, let me be clear: the reprehensible use of the acronym 'ISIS' is our top concern because that implies that this group is in some way affiliated with the peaceful religion of Islam. Call them Daesh from now on."
He continued, "While it is true that this development changes our assessment of the danger posed by Daesh, and that the Daesh weapon, and others like it, is capable of causing those threatened catastrophes and many others, I have already directed my administration to redouble our efforts to contain and degrade them."
Noting his prior successes in the United States, the President promised to "put in place a system of taxes, regulations, and penalties so complex and rigorous that Daesh will go bankrupt using this weapon."
The Islamic State Instagram account later showed a picture of masked members apparently enjoying a makeshift air conditioned internet cafe powered by the weapon's electrical byproducts.
